There is so much power in our words. Our words can make someone happy and fulfilled, but they can also hurt and make them sad.
Sometimes we are not even aware of the impact of our words, but one thing is for sure – words hurt.
The topic of this article is a husband who does not choose his words best when talking to or about his wife.
When a man talks bad about his wife, what message is he sending? First, in this way, he shows more of his negative characteristics, such as immaturity and selfishness, but also sends the message that he does not respect his wife enough and is not satisfied with his marriage.
This behavior is a huge red flag that something is wrong in this marriage and that something has to change because this kind of harmful speech can have massive consequences.
What’s the target audience for this article? The husbands who start to feel that their negative talk about their wives creates huge conflicts in their marriage.
Are you that kind of husband?
If you find yourself in these words, then you definitely are.
But don’t worry, you can still change how you talk about your wife, so stay until the end of the article for the essential tips.
Why Do Guys Complain About Their Wives? 5 Most Common Reasons
While it’s not uncommon for both men and women to complain about their spouses, it doesn’t mean that everyone does, especially not to the extent that it’s becoming toxic.
Here we are talking about examples of men who do not choose words when talking about their wives. And these are the potential reasons for their behavior:
1. Traditional Gender Expectations
We have nothing against tradition, but men who are too much in that specific mindset expect women to conform to specific gender roles. But times have changed.
A man cannot expect a woman to completely sacrifice her career to stay home to take care of the household chores and children. The husband is a hero who goes to work and expects a warm welcome whenever he comes home.
This is not necessarily bad because many women want to be housewives, which is perfectly fine.
However, there must be a mutual agreement in the marriage, and the man should not impose such perspectives on the woman, especially when a woman has a different outlook on life.
But a man who does not respect his wife enough will say that she is brainwashed by new-age things and will not consider that times have changed, and he cannot expect her to sacrifice everything just to obey his beliefs.
2. Dividing of Household Duties
What if the husband thinks his wife is lazy and needs to do more around the house?
Arguments about household chores are the most common quarrels in marriages, and they are not naive at all because they can lead to divorce.
A husband who thinks his wife is lazy will not look at the bigger picture but will go straight to insults. And he will probably talk about it to other family members, especially his mother.
And when the mother-in-law intervenes with advice that no one asks for, the tension will only increase.
The fact that your wife could be more active in household duties may be accurate, but you will not achieve anything by insulting her.
Maybe the wife is going through a difficult period and is too overwhelmed. Before telling her she doesn’t get out of bed all day, you should consider that.
3. Lack of Intimacy
If there is a lack of physical intimacy in the relationship, men might feel unfulfilled and complain about it.
The occurrence of lack of action in bed is also a common occurrence in marriages after some time.
This is influenced by various factors such as a change in responsibilities and lack of time, different sex drives of partners, health problems, or, worst of all, distance and lack of attraction.
Sex and intimacy are extremely important in marriage, so these burning issues should be worked on, not complained about.
Hey, you can’t expect your wife to be ready for action in bed all the time when you don’t take care of hygiene, neglect her needs, and similar.
A man’s worst possible move is to discuss his intimacy with his buddies. Some men can be very immature, so they know to brag about having a lot of sex and complain that they don’t have enough.
This is not a classy move, so be a gentleman, and keep your intimacy between you and your wife.
4. Misunderstanding of Emotions
What if a man feels his wife doesn’t care about his feelings?
Marriage is not simple. In fact, it is full of constant ups and downs. In the process, someone can get hurt or misunderstood.
Some conflicts remain unresolved, the elephant in the room remains, and resentment sets in.
For example, if your wife constantly complains that you work too much, you may feel she does not appreciate his efforts enough. But you should not respond to this with a crossfire of ugly words but initiate a mutual solution.
5. Constantly Complaining
What if you talk bad about your wife because she keeps complaining about you?
Your wife finds every possible little thing to complain about.
You can’t relax from her because you feel like she will always find something to nitpick about. This is why you see her as highly annoying.
Her need to constantly correct you as if you are stupid particularly irritates you.
Next to her, you don’t feel like you have a wife, but you have a strict mother instead who constantly needs to re-educate you.
What Are The Long-term Effects of This Behavior on The Relationship?
When a man speaks negatively about his wife, it can significantly impact their relationship.
Even if you have reason to complain, this behavior does not solve the problems but only deepens them.
You let your wife know you don’t respect or trust her enough.
This all leads to emotional and physical distance, lack of affection, communication breakdown, and complete withdrawal of the spouse.
Do you want all this to happen in your marriage?
How to Prevent Your Negative Talk About Your Wife?
We are glad you have recognized the importance of stopping this behavior and want to change this habit. Let’s go through some basic do’s and don’ts.
1. Don’t Say Offensive Words About Your Wife
Do you want her to talk about you like that?
You must be careful with your choice of words because even though something may not seem like a big deal to you, it can hurt her significantly.
Certain words can lead to manipulation, guilt-tripping, blame-shifting, and gaslighting, which already leads to the concept of mental abuse.
You don’t want to say hurtful words that you will regret later.
2. Don’t Compare Your Wife With Others
No woman likes this. How would you feel if he compared you to other guys in their favor?
When you compare your wife to your friends’ wives, what kind of message are you sending her? That they are better than her?
She can feel highly jealous. It’s like commenting on the beauty of other women in front of her.
So, stop comparing.
3. Don’t Talk Bad About Your Wife In Front Of Others
Talking bad behind someone’s back is a highly cowardly move, but that doesn’t stop you from talking bad about your wife in front of others.
When you go to your parents or friends, you tell all the worst things about your wife, and then you feel like you’ve relieved yourself.
It may be easier for you after venting like this, but you create a bad image of your wife in front of others.
Keep your marital problems between you and your wife.
1. Improve Communication Skills
The lack of effective communication is one of the leading causes of such harmful speech. So you have to work on it.
Instead of talking badly about your wife, tell her what bothers you in a civilized and polite way.
Learn to “hear” your wife, and to recognize her emotions, so that you, too, can express yours in the best way.
Use “I” statements to express personal feelings without blaming her.
2. Always Be Solution Oriented
You get nothing from complaining.
The problems will only get bigger, and your relationship with your wife will be even worse.
Therefore, always be solution-oriented instead of spending your energy on complaints.
Problems can be solved so that both partners are satisfied, and that’s how it should always be in a healthy marriage.
3. Develop Empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. Isn’t that the point of marriage?
Before you start with ugly words, think about what they are doing to your wife and her well-being.
Be aware of her feelings and concerns, and show genuine care to build a stronger emotional connection.
In The End,
“Be careful with your words, once they are said, they can only be forgiven, not forgotten”– Carl Sandburg
We return to the beginning and the importance of words, their weight, and choosing the right words.
If you care about your marriage, implement these do’s and don’ts because that’s how you’ll change that ugly habit of talking bad about your wife.
She deserves a husband who won’t say bad things about her, so don’t be the one who doesn’t respect or care for her.