There are many beautiful women in the world, and the fact your husband notices them is nothing to worry about.
But suppose he likes to emphasize the beauty of other women, especially when you are around. In that case, that’s a sign of deep insecurity and also an attempt to manipulate you.
If you are bothered by the mere fact that your husband says another woman is beautiful but wouldn’t mind if he thought so but kept it to himself, that can actually be a sign of your insecurity.
If your man’s mentioning the beauty of other women triggers mixed feelings in you, here is what you should consider:
- How important is beauty to you? Does it define a large part of your identity?
- Do you believe that only beautiful women can be really loved?
- Are you afraid your husband loves you only for your beauty?
- Do you feel humiliated if your husband says another woman is pretty?
So, who is insecure in your relationship? The answer is not limited to one option. Both of you can feel insecure. Since this insecurity can seriously sabotage your relationship, it is wise to explore its roots.
Let’s go through some common scenarios in which your husband says another woman is attractive to help you understand what’s actually going on between you two – and whether you should worry or not.
Your Husband Compliments Pretty Girls on Social Media
Sorry, but this doesn’t look good. If he often browses photos of pretty girls on social media and makes comments about their good looks, not only is he disrespectful of you, but he may also be looking for someone to cheat on you.
This is very immature behavior and probably not the only thing he is immature about.
Does he help you around the house, with the kids, or do you come home from work just to continue working?
If he is great in all other aspects, but you noticed he spends a lot of time online just recently, maybe your marriage is going through a crisis you weren’t aware of.
Though his compliments to other women trigger you the most, that’s not what should be the focus of your conversation with him.
Before you start comparing yourself to these other women he follows on social media, try talking to him directly.
Ask him how he feels about your marriage lately, are all of his needs met, does he feel like he is missing something… Share how you feel too, and tell him about your needs.
This is the first step to rectifying the intimacy between the two of you.
Your Husband Compliments Other Women in Front of You
Giving compliments to others can be just an act of kindness, a strategy for others to accept and like us.
However, suppose the way your husband compliments other women in front of you looks more like flirting than kindness. In that case, it doesn’t at all have to mean he wants to cheat on you, but most likely, it shows that he feels insecure around you.
A confident, strong, mature man never humiliates his partner or puts her in a situation where she feels uncomfortable in the presence of other women, even when they are 1000 times more beautiful than she.
His behavior is protective. He is proud to be with you and is not ashamed to show that you are important to him, even in front of other people.
A man who flatters other women in front of your nose or feels threatened next to you, and in this way tries to humiliate you and bind you to himself.
He wants to tell you, “Look how many beautiful women there are – you should be happy that I’m with you.”
His strategy boils down to making you feel less worthy, to make you believe he is the no.1 prize in your life.
You must oppose such behavior sharply and decisively. Explain to him that he is not only humiliating you but that he himself looks like a fool – other women also do not appreciate men who humiliate their partners in such an obvious way.
Don’t fall into the trap of doubting your own beauty or worth. No relationship is fundamentally based on looks; when it is, it’s not a relationship.
Another possibility is that you are not that important to him, and he takes you for granted. In this case, it would be wise to think about how you allowed him to take you for granted.
Have you subordinated your needs to his, does everything in your marriage revolve around him?
If so, it is very likely that you have taken on the motherly role and that he sees you as a safe haven, not as a woman he fell in love with.
No matter how difficult it is for you, you must muster up your strength and openly talk to him about how much this behavior bothers you.
He Rarely Says You Are Beautiful
Men often forget how important it is for women to feel beautiful. If he rarely compliments you but finds it easy to say nice things to other women, it is natural that you feel neglected.
But, this kind of behavior usually isn’t something that should worry you.
He probably believes you are perfectly aware of how beautiful you are to him, so he simply feels no need to highlight that.
What you are really bothered about is not that he says other women are beautiful but that he doesn’t say it to you often enough.
If you ask him directly to tell you that you are beautiful, you will not believe he really means it, however nice words he may use to describe your looks.
Instead of fishing for compliments, you could just let him know how beautiful it makes you feel when he notices nice things about you.
A good approach would also be to start complimenting his looks. He will most probably respond in the same manner.
This way, you are nurturing supportive communication too, which is great for relationships in every sense.
You Don’t Believe You Are Beautiful
Suppose your appearance is a sore spot and the biggest source of insecurity.
In that case, you probably can’t take a compliment even when you get one, and it seems to you that everyone gets more compliments than you.
Although there is huge pressure from the media regarding beauty standards, the way we see ourselves has much more to do with how we were seen by those we depended on as children – parents, brothers, sisters…
We accept ourselves as we were accepted by our closest family. If we never received praise for our appearance from our family, and if they didn’t find us beautiful, it would be very difficult for us to perceive ourselves as beautiful people.
There are countless examples of world beauties who have conquered the whole world but are intimately torn by doubts about their own worth and appearance.
Accepting yourself and your appearance is a long process. It is not enough to read a few affirmations to suddenly feel beautiful.
But, what you can do is start noticing how you diminish and negate the compliments you receive. How do you react when someone compliments you?
Refrain from explaining to others how you are not really beautiful, how they did not see you well.
Because when you constantly reject compliments, people eventually stop giving them to you. They don’t feel that it makes sense.
Find Your Own Definition of Beauty and Stick to It
There are many ways to influence your husband’s behavior.
However, overcoming any insecurity about your appearance is important when it comes to beauty. Here’s what you need to understand about beauty:
- Beauty does not determine your worth.
- The quality of your relationship does not depend on your beauty.
- You don’t have to be beautiful to be loved and adored.
- How much someone loves you has nothing to do with your beauty.
- Beauty does not guarantee you any special privilege.
- Beauty does not make your life harder or easier, just different.
- You are as beautiful as you feel beautiful.
- You have the freedom to be as beautiful as you want.
- It’sIt’s not just beauty that’s sexy.
- It is not only beauty that is attractive.
- The compatibility of your pathologies has the greatest influence on the quality of the relationship, and your beauty has the least influence.
You send a message about how to be treated through how you allow others to treat you.
If you don’t let your husband know when you don’t like something, or if you fail to react to his behavior that you don’t like, you indirectly allow him to disrespect you.
Review your boundaries and how well you set and communicate them with others.
It is also important to understand what beauty means to you and why you give it an important or unimportant place in your life.