It is always hard to watch someone we care about struggle with problems. Yet it is even more challenging when that person doesn’t want our help.
How to help a person who does not care about anything? By not judging, listening carefully, and helping as much as possible.
It sounds easy and logical, but it can often be complicated.
Maybe even the person we care about is unaware of his problems and doesn’t let us help him.
Sometimes we just want to skip all the steps and boundaries and just lash out at someone we care about.
That kind of aggressive approach certainly won’t help.
This article will examine what makes a person feel like they don’t care about anything and how to help them.
Why Do We Feel Like We Don’t Care About Anything Anymore?
Life is complicated. It brings with it various obstacles and problems.
These can harm an individual from serious life problems to everyday minor issues.
We all deal with problems in life differently. What can trigger someone to come to the attitude that he doesn’t care about anything doesn’t mean it will trigger someone else too.
What most often makes us stop caring about anything are disappointments.
That makes sense because let’s assume you did something and invested a lot in a job or a relationship, and it all fails. Of course, you will be disappointed and think you don’t care about anything anymore.
This may sound like a child who gets angry and won’t play anymore, but it should be taken seriously.
Disappointments are, unfortunately, a huge part of life.
Love problems, jobs that exhaust us and make us depressed, and dissatisfaction with where we are in life can lead us to a “not carry anymore” state of mind.
After the disappointment, hatred towards the whole world often comes, and then an attitude where we no longer care about anything.
“I Don’t Care About Anything” as a Defense Mechanism
Think about it; it’s a kind of defense mechanism.
This attitude is reflected in the thinking: “If I don’t care about anything, nothing can hurt me.”
We don’t need to sink entirely because of all the troubles that can happen in our life, but it is also not a good choice to stop caring completely.
Everyone should be carpe diem sometimes and not care, but it cannot be a constant pattern of behavior.
By choosing the “I don’t care” attitude, we cover up the problems and don’t choose the solutions.
Do we really not care that much, or are we just pretending to be?
What if we still care but don’t want to admit it because we’re afraid of being hurt?
With such behavior, we can often only deepen the problems instead of solving them.
That attitude can lead to new problems, such as self-destructive behavior (especially substance abuse).
This attitude also leads to apathy.
Apathy can be defined as a loss of motivation and desire for anything.
Although apathy is not considered a mental illness, it is a sign and introduction to various mental health conditions.
How Does Not Caring About Anything Hurt The People Around Us?
You can recognize yourself in this part of the article because you are the one that wants to help.
Whether it’s your parent, spouse, or friend, it’s a person you care about, and you don’t want them to get to the point where they don’t care about anything.
How do you feel when someone you care about doesn’t care about anything?
First of all, you feel sad. When someone you love has problems, it hurts because you care about them.
You also feel that you want to help, that it is your duty.
You may even feel powerless because you can’t change anything, especially if your help is refused.
It could be a person you see every day. Of course, it will hurt that you can’t do anything to help.
What to do when someone doesn’t want our help and clearly needs it?
Should we just give up on that person, then?
Understand that some people just don’t want to ask for help.
With the realization that something is really bothering them and that the “I don’t care” attitude leads them nowhere, they can feel even more scared and lost.
Because of this fear of facing the truth, they do not ask for help or have deeply convinced themselves that they do not need help.
5 Ways to Help Someone Who Doesn’t Care About Anything
We explained why someone feels like someone doesn’t care about anything and how it affects them and everyone around them.
Now we will explain how you can help.
1. Investigate The Cause of The Problem
What is it exactly that has brought your loved one to the state they are in?
Before starting a rescue mission, think carefully about what triggered it.
Is it love disappointments, business problems, or multiple things crammed into one pile of dissatisfaction?
By understanding the problem that made your loved one not care about anything, you will know how best to approach it.
2. Understanding Instead of Judging
Understanding before and during the conversation is a crucial factor.
If you already prejudge the actions of the person you care about, you will not help them.
You may even think there is no reason for him to feel that way and that he is over-dramatizing.
Or you think he’s irresponsible because his “I don’t care about everything” attitude gets on your nerves.
Whatever it is, you have to act non-judgmentally if you want to help him.
Minimizing other people’s problems, especially those that lead a person to these attitudes, is the worst possible approach.
You will only create a bigger problem if you judge him directly or indirectly.
“We are all different. Don’t judge, understand instead.”— Roy T. Bennett
3. Honest Conversation
As hard as you know it will be, you must talk to the person you care about their problems.
Behind the attitude “I don’t care about everything,” there is always a bigger problem.
Deeply disappointed people usually don’t want to talk about it. Especially if it has gone so far that they don’t care about anyone, not themselves.
It is up to you to have an honest conversation. First of all, listen carefully.
Listening to someone is important, but be careful and respect everything they say, even if you disagree.
Let that important person know that you are always there to talk to.
Be a shoulder to cry on if needed.
It is difficult to talk to a person who hates himself, but it is possible with love, understanding, and kindness.
Explain to your loved one that there are many reasons why they need to care.
Even if that specific problem is to blame for the person having that attitude, it should not be transferred to everything else.
For example, problems at work should not affect the whole attitude.
4. Offer Help
We’re getting to the point where it’s finally time for you to offer to help.
But you also have to do it unobtrusively. Only when you notice it’s time for it.
As much as you want to help with all your might, don’t push.
Give suggestions and specific help only when you are asked for it.
Don’t let your need for help come from fear for that person or anxiety about their actions because you’ll come across as too controlling.
Don’t force them, but point out the things they need to change for their own good without crossing the boundaries.
5. Understand That You Cannot Change Another Person
No matter how hard you try, you cannot personally change another person.
Every change comes from ourselves, especially changes in attitude.
If someone doesn’t really care about anything, it’s in their subconscious, and telling them to stop it won’t change anything.
The decision is up to that person you care about, and you are only there to help.
Understand that not everyone can change.
Everyone is responsible for their actions and behavior.
What if The Person You Want to Help Doesn’t Even Care About You?
A very uncomfortable situation. It all depends on how much you care about that person.
You can’t give up on her, but you can’t sink with her.
Do you know that miserable people make others miserable because misery loves company?
It’s up to you to try everything, but don’t destroy yourself in the process.
“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”— Bob Marley
It’s up to you to figure out whether that person is worth your effort.
We all go through different phases in life, and you should never give up on people lightly, especially if they are essential to you.
You can’t be hurt all the time because of someone who just doesn’t care about anything, including you.
“Sometimes you have to give up on people. Not because you don’t care, but because they don’t”— Jonathan Carrol