It is never pleasant when someone talks bad about us in front of others.
Whether it’s behind our backs and we still find out, or it’s directly badmouthing us in front of other people.
It’s even worse because it’s your husband, probably the last person who should be doing that.
Why does your husband talk bad about you in front of family and friends? Because he’s unhappy with you, he’s doing it to hurt you, doesn’t respect you, and lacks basic manners.
All these reasons can lead to huge problems in marriage and even divorce.
You feel confused and even question yourself about what you should do.
In this article, we will deal with it and give you some advice.
The most influential people in our lives are family and friends.
That’s how we divided this article, considering who your husband is talking bad about you or if the situation is so serious that he is talking bad about you to everyone.
Your Husband is Talking Bad About You to His Family – 3 Most Common Reasons
When you get married, you expect to have a great relationship with your husband’s family.
But it didn’t happen like that, and he is one to blame.
The worst is that he is badmouthing you in front of his parents as if you are not present.
How many family lunches at his parents’ house ended with you coming home angry.
His constant complaining about you affects how his family views you.
And what does it complain about the most:
1. You Are Lazy
This is undoubtedly the number one complaint husbands have about their wives.
It doesn’t matter if you notice that he says it to them when you’re not there or if he says it directly in front of them.
Your daily routine is always a topic of discussion, and the conclusion is that you are lazy.
The husband doesn’t hesitate to say it in front of his family, and they don’t seem to mind but even encourage him.
Of course, you get a lot of advice about getting up earlier as if you don’t even know that and don’t want to change it.
They always conclude that you need to organize yourself better during the day; the house should always be tidy, the food ready, and the children’s homework done.
Your husband’s mother could do all that without any problems, so why can’t you do the same?
Ugh, how much they annoy you when he compares you to his mother.
2. You Are a Bad Cook
They say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, and your husband is an excellent example.
This man is a real gourmand.
He loves to eat, but he loves commenting on food even more.
Your husband could easily go to some food competition and be the judge. Gordon Ramsey is no match for him.
He has a comment about how badly you prepare every meal.
If you have to order food, he makes a whole drama about it.
He doesn’t consider that maybe you don’t like to cook or don’t have time, but you still do it for him.
His favorite food is the one his mother prepares, and he doesn’t hesitate to say so when you’re at his parents’ house.
Everything she prepares is perfect, while everything you prepare needs to be better.
Additional criticism is possible if you have a different diet than his family.
For example, if you’re vegan and they’re not, you will get a lot of awkward vegan jokes.
3. You Disagree on Important Life Decisions
Disagreements in marriage are absolutely possible.
What is essential is that the spouses solve it together, without the interference of anyone from the outside.
Explain that to your husband, who has to talk in front of his family about how bad you are.
Important issues are spilled directly in front of his family as if they are someone who should decide on your marriage.
Your husband may criticize you because he wants a baby, but you are not ready.
Or he thinks you should stop being a housewife and earn more money.
These topics require you to resolve them together, not in front of his family like this.
You are always outnumbered and feel like a villain because your husband makes you that way.
Your Husband is Talking Bad About You to His Friends – Three Most Typical Reasons
Instead of feeling comfortable when you go out with your husband’s friends, you always feel hurt, and it’s all your husband’s fault.
His ugly comments about you in front of others ruin every date.
And what he usually comments:
1. Your Physical Appearance
This is the most painful thing for any woman, and we are sorry if your husband is doing such a thing.
Maybe you overheard him talking on the phone or on a video call with some friends about how you are not physically attractive, but you are good to him, which is why he is with you.
He probably then broke your heart.
Or when you are with his friends, he makes ugly comments about the fact that you have gained a little weight.
He probably doesn’t shy away from commenting on other women in front of everyone, including you.
2. He Complains to His Friends That You Are Too Boring
Another common reason why husbands like to talk bad about their wives.
Maybe he thinks you’re boring because you’re too demanding, and you think he doesn’t do enough.
He sits down to watch the game, and you come to him with a story about how he doesn’t do enough around the house and that you have to remind him to do everything.
Or he thinks you’re boring in the sense that you’re not interesting, that you don’t have any hobbies, and that you don’t do anything interesting.
We don’t know what he expected when he married you.
3. He Competes With His Friends Whose Wife is Worse
Your husband is engaging in that classic male competition called “Who has the worst wife.”
It is clear to you that the intimacy and privacy of marriage will not be respected in this case.
Such husbands probably talk too much about your sex life, or more often, the lack of it.
They probably argue about whose wife is lazier or who has the most boring wife.
Such husbands do this to make themselves feel better, but they are deeply frustrated in their marriage.
This is highly foolish and immature behavior. Not classy at all.
What Should You Do When Your Husband Talks Bad About You in Front of Others? 4 Tips
Your husband’s behavior shows that he doesn’t respect and value you enough.
These can be the main triggers for divorce.
Here’s what you need to do to change the situation:
1. Realize That Your Husband’s Behavior is Wrong
You cannot tolerate this kind of behavior.
If your husband is a backstabber who says one thing in front of you and is entirely different in front of others, this proves he is a coward.
And if and when you are present, he talks badly about you in front of others, and then it is proof that he is manipulative, selfish, and toxic.
2. Confront Your Husband
You are emotional and don’t want to argue with someone talking bad about you, especially your husband.
Tell him how you feel and how it affects your mood and self-confidence.
Don’t give in if he says he was just joking and doesn’t mean it.
Jokes are ok, but when they don’t hurt you.
So your husband can stop being a prankster at your expense if he wants a normal relationship with you.
3. Solve Problems in Marriage Behind Closed Doors
Let’s say your husband is right about some of his complaints about you.
That still doesn’t mean he should talk about it in front of others.
You should solve the problems you have in your marriage together without the interference of others.
Privacy in marriage is sacred and should never be overshared because other people know how to make the problem worse.
4. Seek The Help of a Marriage Counselor
If you still think it is possible to solve the problems, and your husband will finally stop talking bad about you in front of others, you can ask for the help of a marriage counselor.
This can lead to a positive outcome, and your husband finally realizes that he needs to change his behavior.
However, consider whether you want to be in such a marriage if that proves ineffective.
Visiting a marriage counselor can be good for you because your mental health can be damaged by such treatment by your husband.
We expect our spouse to have our back, not talk behind it.
Also, because of our spouse, we should feel comfortable and fulfilled, not disrespected and sad.
These are all basic postulates of marriage, and your husband must fulfill them.