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My Husband Makes Comments About My Weight, What Should I do?

You know how beautiful people always say that looks don’t matter, rich people say that money doesn’t matter, and so on? It is easy for them to talk about it because they are not on the opposite side.

Everyone talks about how vital self-confidence and a sense of humor are in choosing a partner, but that also usually comes from appearance.

No matter how superficial it sounds, appearance is essential to all of us.

Appearance is important for both men and women. We care about our appearance, but sometimes even more about our partner’s appearance.

Stressed young married family couple arguing emotionally, blaming lecturing each other, sitting on couch

Gaining weight is often a reason for disrupting that appearance, and we’re not talking about a few more pounds here. We’re talking about a little more, those pounds that are noticeable.

Weight is a prevalent source of insecurity for everyone, especially women. Because men are sometimes tolerated for being overweight because they are snugly bears, while women are often not accepted for gaining weight. That doesn’t sound fair, does it?

Weight comments hurt when they come from anyone, especially a husband.

You can feel insulted, betrayed, humiliated, unwanted… All of that can make you so angry that you just want to hit him.

Before you attack him, it wouldn’t hurt to think about it first, about the way he told you, whether it’s true and how it affects you.

It is important to emphasize that negative comments about weight are related to gaining and losing weight. They are more common for fattening, so that will be our main topic, but we will also mention weight loss as a source of negative comments.

3 Reasons Why You Suddenly Gained or Lost Weight in Marriage

1. Your Habits Change

Marriage and living together bring with it a lot of changes.

That adaptation period itself can be stressful for you.

It’s possible that your partner likes to eat different foods than you, and now you’re eating them because of him.

It didn’t bother you when you were in a relationship, but now that you’re living together, it’s a problem.

With all those new responsibilities, you might be too lazy to eat, which is why you lose weight.

After a whole day of not eating, you make up for it in the evening by overeating. That is a metabolic disaster.

Also, you will hardly reach for a healthy meal without good organization and time. You will settle for fast food as the easiest option.

weekly meal planner

2. Relationship Weight

Couples can gain a bit of so-called happy weight or relationship weight.

When we are single, everything is subordinated to us. We have more time, follow our schedules, and most importantly, care more about our appearance because we want to attract a potential partner.

Then we get into a relationship or marriage, and suddenly, a lot changes.

We may no longer have the motivation to watch our diet or exercise.

It is more challenging to organize now, especially at the beginning of life together, when we have a lot of things on our minds.

We are happy and tucked into our relationship. Who cares about pounds now?

And after all, why not relax? Next to us is a person who loves us exactly as we are. Even if we gain weight, there will certainly be no problems in the future, right?

This scenario is a mistake many couples make.

3. Emotional or Stressful Eating

We don’t always eat to satisfy the physical need for food, but sometimes an emotional need.

Emotional eaters find comfort and stress relief or reward themselves with food.

What it usually looks like: Something happens that upsets you, you quickly reach for food to calm the situation, you overeat, and then you feel bad.

Unrecognized woman eating unhealthy food and crying.

Once you get into it, getting out of that circle of emotional overeating is hard.

The worst part is that you always feel bad afterward, physically because you overeat, and mentally because you are tormented by the guilt of overeating.

And emotional eaters don’t tend to have healthier options on the menu. In fact, it’s usually the opposite.

Emotional eaters may lie to themselves that they are hedonists as an excuse.

Let’s face it, there’s nothing wrong with rewarding yourself with that chocolate cake once in a while. But when it’s a habit and a way of dealing with things, it’s much better to deal with what makes us feel bad emotionally rather than masking our emotions with food.

What to do When Husband Makes Comments About My Appearance?

It happened. The relationship idyll is broken. That late-night binge on sweets with your favorite TV series has taken its toll.

Your husband, to whom you were perfect, thrilled with your appearance, and idealized you, suddenly has a different opinion.

It started with minor comments, which you didn’t pay too much attention to, and now it’s bothering you.

It can torment you to the point that it disturbs your self-confidence, awakens insecurities in you, and develops various mental illnesses.

However, it is also possible that what he tells you will be a wake-up call, saving your health and maybe saving you from someone who doesn’t deserve you.

The situation is not simple, and we will try to explain it considering how he told you about your weight and what you should do.

My Husband Openly Talks Negatively About My Weight

Too far from one another. Nervous angry young couple sitting on opposite sides of sofa keeping silence after quarrel argument fight.

This is a challenging situation for you.

Your husband tells you directly, without respect for your emotions, that you are too fat or thin.

He constantly tells you how and what you eat and counts your bites.

It is terribly rude if he comments on your look in front of others.

Perhaps he is blinded by the marketed ideals of female beauty that are pushed at us everywhere.

He tells you: “Look at your friend, how handsome she is. Why aren’t you like that”.

The ultimate disrespect from your husband is if he compares you to other women.

He may have gained weight too, but that doesn’t stop him from talking bad about your appearance.

That’s not the point at all. Your husband can be built like a Greek god and still have no right to insult you about your appearance.

This lame excuse of a husband does not consider whether you may have some emotional or health problems.

He might even go so far as to tell you that you are unattractive to him and he doesn’t want sex with you.

What to do in this case?

I think it’s clear that a man like this doesn’t deserve you.

When we get married, we commit to being there for each other “for better and for worse.” You may be in your bad period, and he is not there for you. He is actually making it worse for you.

This kind of behavior can be classified as mental abuse, and you certainly don’t want to stay in a marriage with an abuser.

My Husband is Worried About My Health Because of My Weight

He doesn’t pretend to care about you; he really does.

How can you be sure of that?

Any sudden weight changes can lead to significant health problems. Your husband knows that; that’s why he cares.

He never hurt you with his words; he cares about you in every way, and you know you can rely on him.

First, the way he said it to you went something like this: “Honey, you’re beautiful to me, but I’m worried about your health. Here are some solutions to how we can do this together.”

“We” instead of “you” is essential here. In this way, he clearly indicates that he wants you and him to change something together.

If your husband is in good shape, he surely knows some tips and tricks to help you reach your ideal weight.

Maybe he also gained weight, and now he wants you and him to lose weight together.

He enrolls you in the gym together and learns to prepare healthy meals.

Let’s say you don’t like gym, running, or anything related to exercising. You might change your mind when you see how good it is for your marriage.

Exhausted woman with excess weight lying on floor after training at home

And you must have heard about the one: “Couples who work out together, stay together.”

Through this process, you can bond more and be more attractive to each other.

A completely new hobby and passion can even be born, and it’s even better if it’s together with your husband.

If you are an emotional eater with some mental problems, he will devote himself to solving them and help you get out of that habit.

All Things Considered,

Nobody likes to have their weight commented on if it’s not complimentary.

However, commenting can be a wake-up call and a call to action to change some things that will make your life better.

Do you need to change your husband or diet? Maybe both?

If you have a husband who cares about you being happy and healthy, because of whom you know that even if you have weight problems, he will help you, we say keep him.