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My Partner Wants a Baby, but I’m Not Ready: How to Deal with It?

Most happy couples, at some point, want to expand their family.

However, sometimes partners do not want to have a baby simultaneously.

Babys first steps holding mothers hands

This kind of disagreement is often a big challenge, even for very harmonious relationships.

A child is an equal responsibility to both parents. Therefore, you should not feel forced or cornered into making such a decision when you don’t feel ready. 

If you feel like you’re not ready for a baby, that’s okay. A child is a huge responsibility.

Many consider it the biggest responsibility you will have to deal with in your life.

It is important for the baby to feel wanted and accepted, which can be challenging if either parent does not feel ready to raise a child. 

However, it is important to understand why you feel that way. There’s a huge difference between not being ready for a kid and not wanting a kid in your life.

Bearing that in mind, let’s see some common reasons people postpone having kids and how you can deal with the situation. 

Career is Top Priority at the Moment

woman working in office with documents

If you are in a very important period for your career and your focus is completely on that aspect of life, you probably don’t feel ready to become a parent.

That’s fine. No one has the right to judge you for your priorities.

It is important to explain to your partner how important it is to you to achieve what you want in your career before you have a child.

For a parent who is not satisfied with himself, it can be a big challenge to be a good parent, and that is something you should calmly discuss with your partner.

Fear of Repeating a Bad Family Pattern

Mad bothered millennial girl annoyed by authoritative lecturing mother

People who grew up in discordant families often fear their families will be equally unhappy.

If this is the only thing preventing you from having a child, you need to understand what made your family so unhappy.

Sometimes it is difficult to face unpleasant experiences from the past, but it is often the fastest way to see that our future can and should be completely different.

In this case, too, you must explain exactly the cause of your fear to your partner.

Often, only quality support is what we lack to see what scares us so much.

This kind of conversation will also be an opportunity to achieve an even closer relationship with your partner and lay strong and healthy foundations for the future family.

You Feel Too Young to Have a Baby

Portrait of two young girl

Age is very important in this context for several reasons.

The first is simply because pregnancy at certain ages carries more risks for both the baby and the mother.

Another reason is the larger age difference between the partners.

The greater the difference, the more likely there may be discord in this area of the relationship.

The third reason is that society imposes certain clichés on us, so many associate readiness for children with age, which is completely wrong.

That’s why it’s important in any case to be very honest about your plans and expectations regarding children.

You certainly have the right to delay this decision as long as you like, but time is not a factor that anyone can easily ignore.

Raising Children is Too Expensive

Parenting expenses concept

Every person has unique personal beliefs and financial circumstances, which undoubtedly contribute to whether or not it is more difficult or easier to have children.

Having kids is a significant investment for many individuals, and many couples seriously consider it, especially since they might not get paid as much while their partner is on maternity or paternity leave.

But even though you’ll be spending a little bit more money, there are still strategies to stretch your money.

You can prevent wasteful expenditure with a little bit of careful planning. Money is surely an issue that you should talk about with your partner.

You could make a long-term financial plan together to ensure you feel safe when you decide to have children. 

You Fear Your Relationship Will Never Be the Same with Baby

She is hugging him from the back

You’re right if you’re afraid your relationship will never be the same after the baby.

It will certainly never be the same again, but that doesn’t mean it will be worse. In a healthy relationship, a baby will make the relationship even deeper and stronger.

Every relationship, with or without children, changes over time.

Do not forget that at any moment, you two decide which direction these changes will go.

Suppose this is the only thing that scares you. In addition to having an honest conversation with your partner, it is vital that you get accurate and precise information about what all the education and upbringing of a child requires.

Then you will be able to guess how a child would affect your relationship.

In Conclusion 

Whatever the reason for wanting to delay having a child, it is of crucial importance for the quality of your relationship with your partner that you talk about it honestly.

Such topics must not be part of a game or manipulation. They must not be used as blackmail or a condition for the relationship’s survival.

It is very important not only for you but also for the child that both of you are ready for all the obligations and joys that raising a child brings.

Talk to your partner about what kind of parent you want to be and what values you want to follow in raising children.

Make it clear to him that you are open to the idea of children, just not at this point in your life.

Agree on what kind of parents you will be, how many children you would like to have, and how you will organize yourself daily.

These important things are much more challenging to talk about when the kids are already here.