Skip to Content

6 Reasons Why My Partner Makes Big Decisions Without Me

When you are in a relationship, it is only natural that you consider your partner’s opinion, needs, and wishes whenever faced with a decision that will affect both of you.

Beautiful young couple enjoying time together

But, then, there are some decisions that you always have to make on your own, disregarding your relationship and your partner’s opinion, because only you can know what’s best for you.

If, for example, you are choosing a vacation destination, it feels right to consult with your partner – after all, both of you should enjoy the travel.

But, if you’re in the middle of choosing your career path, it wouldn’t be wise to let your partner’s wishes influence your choice.

Not all decisions require the same amount of participation from both partners.

But, what happens when your partner constantly makes big decisions without you, and what does that say about your relationship? 

There are many reasons for this but let’s name just some of the most common ones: 

Your Partner Does Not See You as an Equal 

Stressed young married family couple arguing emotionally, blaming lecturing each other, sitting on couch

If you are used to him/her making all the big moves in the relationship without ever being consulted, it may mean that your partner sees you as less worthy in some sense.

Maybe they believe that their social power, financial superiority, great looks, supreme talent, or the mere fact that they are of a specific gender gives them the right to make all the big decisions and that you have to go along.

This attitude may feel impressive at the beginning of a relationship – you may feel like you are always taken care of.

But after some time, you will eventually feel like you are not given the right to think for yourself, speak for yourself or have any authentic needs.

This kind of relationship situation is not healthy for you, and you will inevitably feel used at some point and start regretting you didn’t raise your voice. 

Your Partner Is Narcissistic

Young married couple arguing

Narcissistic personalities are not mature enough to feel authentic empathy.

They are highly focused on their needs only. Therefore, they feel it is natural for them to make all the important decisions without you.

However dedicated to you they may seem, they ultimately see you as an extension of themselves.

In their world, you do not exist as an individual but only as a part of them.

Narcissistic personalities may adore their partners, but only as long as they serve the purpose – to make them look better in the eyes of the world.

This type of relationship is typically based on some profit, but when some severe issue arises, it becomes very fragile. 

Your Partner Is a Workaholic

If you are in a relationship with a highly responsible workaholic, he may feel obliged to make all the decisions on his own even though he doesn’t want to.

People with this trait usually have to take on too many responsibilities too early and haven’t had the chance to enjoy their childhood.

They tend to always think in advance and feel like they have to control everything; otherwise, life as they know it will crash.

So, in this case, it is not that they take you for granted or don’t appreciate your needs and wishes, but they feel it is on them to take care of everything.

These people crave to feel they can rely on someone just like everyone depends on them.

If you show your partner that you are willing to share the burden and consistently show up, they will eventually relax and appreciate you even more. 

Your Partner Considers You a Child

Man and woman in discussions in the restaurant

Sometimes it is not only your partner to blame if they take all the responsibility for the big decisions in your relationship.

If you are a fun-loving, laid-back type, who is not fond of dealing with the more severe side of life, your partner may feel like he doesn’t have a choice but to make all the big decisions without you.

So, before jumping to conclusions, you should always consider what attitude you assume – if you frequently forget to do your part of chores or avoid taking things seriously, your partner probably enjoys having fun with you but does not feel they can rely on you for real.

Show some initiative and see how the atmosphere in the relationship will change. 

Your Partner Does Not Plan a Future With You 

Maybe your relationship feels okay, but do you think it is purposeful?

A partner who can’t imagine a future with you will naturally not find it necessary to consult you for any decisions, let alone the big ones.

If you, on the other hand, expect more from the relationship, make sure your partner knows about it so you don’t make considerable changes in your life for someone who doesn’t feel the same about you. 

Your Partner Has Been on His Own for Too Long

If, before their relationship with you, your partner has spent a long time living on their own and making all the moves alone, he may need time to adapt to the new situation.

People who live alone for a long time tend to develop their special rituals and ways of doing certain things, so give your partner some space until they realize they are not alone anymore. 

Wrapping It All Up 

Regardless of why your partner makes big decisions without you, it would be best if you never let someone else lead your life for you.

You are the only person responsible for the quality of your life, so make sure you know the consequences of any relationship and decision on you.

An open conversation can incredibly improve the quality of a relationship, even when you least expect so.

So, don’t hesitate to talk to your partner about things that matter to you.