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Why is My Husband Always Telling Me What to Do? 9 Reasons

Isn’t it tiresome when someone keeps telling you what to do?

Not only is it irritating, but it can also hurt you and damage your self-confidence.

If your husband is the type of person who constantly tells you what to do, we are sure that his habit is extremely annoying to you.

Your husband always tells you what to do because he doesn’t trust you; he’s a manipulator, a narcissist, a perfectionist, or hiding something.

Husband yells at wife

These all sound like strong accusations against your husband.

It is clear to us that his behavior creates resentment in you.

That resentment is like a ticking time bomb ready to explode once and destroy your marriage.

In any case, your marriage is not going in the right direction at this rate, and something should change.

How to act then?

This article will help you find the right solution and clarity if your marriage has a future. So keep reading till the end.

Why Does My Husband Make Me Feel Like I Don’t Do Anything Right? 9 Probable Reasons

Let’s get to know your husband better and see why he has to order you about everything.

These are the reasons for his behavior:

1. He is Old Fashioned

We’re not saying that old-fashioned is necessarily bad, but your husband clearly retains some toxic male characteristics from the past.

If he had such male role models in his family, it is no wonder he also adopted such a pattern of behavior.

This kind of man thinks a woman should be a housewife and not interfere too much in “men’s decisions.”

2. He Has Trust Issues

Based on bad experiences from the past, he doesn’t trust anyone now.

It can be influenced by selfish parents who never gave him enough love.

But it could also be some previous relationship because he was hurt.

All this is absolutely no reason for him not to trust you now.

Even if you made a mistake in the past, if he forgave you, that doesn’t mean he has to keep bringing it up now.

In marriage, the point is to forgive and forget quickly, especially minor stupid problems that are part of every marriage.

3. He’s a Control Freak

If your husband likes to have a routine and is organized, that’s not bad.

But if it’s an obsessive need to control everything, we understand that you will feel annoyed.

Everything has to be done his way and at the right time.

He becomes the biggest drama queen if he accidentally falls out of that routine.

This type of husband is too bossy and constantly nags you.

4. He is a Perfectionist

You know how it is with perfectionists; they always think they know everything best.

Whatever you do is not good enough for your husband.

He is probably highly successful in his job because he always does everything perfectly, down to the smallest detail, but he also carries that behavior home.

Everything can’t be perfect all the time, but your husband can’t accept that.

According to him, the food needs to be prepared better, and the house should be cleaner

He doesn’t consider whether you have enough time. It only matters that everything is according to his perfect standards.

5. He Thinks You Are Not Mature Enough

That’s why he treats you like he’s your parent.

Your husband probably thinks your parents didn’t prepare you enough for life, and now he has accepted that role.

He makes a huge scene if you fall asleep in the morning.

If you are too tired to do something, say you want to order food instead of preparing it, it probably tells you that you are spoiled.

When you go out partying, he measures your every move, and if you’re having too much fun, he’ll tell you that you’re acting immature and childish.

It’s hard to have any fun times with a husband like this.

6. He is a Narcissist

Not the narcissist who likes to look pretty all the time, but the much worse toxic one.

This type of narcissist does not care about anyone around him.

He loves only himself and cares only for his own interests.

Everyone else is there to enable him to do so and admire him.

A narcissist doesn’t want to hear about your day; instead, he wants to talk nonstop about himself.

7. He is a Manipulator

Manipulators have a huge variety of skills in their arsenal, and we will mention a few.

Guilt tripping is a form of shifting the blame from him to you or bringing up something that happened long ago to make you feel embarrassed.

Gaslighting this term refers to such psychological manipulation that the victim doubts his perception of reality.

Believe it or not, this term was the most searched on Google in 2022, according to Merriam-Webster.

You can conclude that you are not the only one who has experienced gaslighting by a loved one.

Victim syndrome is when a person, in this case, your husband, plays the innocent victim card to avoid responsibility and put it on you.

8. He Thinks He’s Better Than You

Your husband actually thinks he’s better than everyone else.

He thinks he should make all the decisions because he knows everything best.

If you happen to have done something wrong in the past, he treats you like you never have the right to make any decisions again.

He is also a contrarian who loves to contradict everything you say.

Behind all that superiority, some deeper complexes are usually hidden, and you don’t have to be their target.

9. He is Hiding Something

An affair? Potential financial problems? Returning to old vices?

Your husband is hiding something and doesn’t want you to find out.

That’s why he mysteriously tells you what you can and can’t do, all so that you don’t find out his secret.

He just forgot one thing, and that is that there are no secrets in marriage between spouses.

5 Steps For Dealing With a Husband Who Always Tells You What to Do

When someone constantly tells you what to do, it can get on your nerves and affect your self-confidence.

If the situation is more serious and you are questioning everything because of your husband, it may be that some form of abuse is involved.

Here’s what you need to do and how to act:

1. Acknowledge The Problem

We know that sometimes it is difficult to see the problem anymore when we are under the influence of another person for a long time.

You love your husband, but if he is used to telling you what to do all the time, it will be difficult for you to recognize how bad it is.

However, if you feel it bothers you deep down, it’s time to change that.

Also, address in which specific case your husband tells you what to do or if it is multiple cases.

2. You Have The Right to Say No

When you have noticed in which situations your husband limits you, it is time to learn a magic word.

That magic word is NO.

“No” is a complete sentence; you don’t need to explain it.

You are not overreacting; you stand up for yourself!

3. Set Boundaries in Marriage

Even in a marriage that represents the union of two people, there must be boundaries.

And with the way your husband behaves, boundaries are necessary.

It is clear that in a relationship, we sometimes have to put up with our partner and that no one is perfect, but you have to have boundaries that he must respect.

If you think he’s crossing the line and doesn’t want to stop, you’re free to leave the room, so let him talk to himself.

5. Explain How You Feel to Your Husband

It would be best if you told your husband how you feel.

He needs to recognize how his behavior affects you.

Try together to set the tone for the further course of the marriage.

It is possible to fix things and turn the situation around.

5. Take Some Time to Heal

Even if your husband agrees with you and you think he will change things this time, you need time to heal.

Who knows how often you had to do what you didn’t want to because of your husband. 

It would help if you had time to change your mindset and develop a new way of thinking.

Self-love is essential on that path.

So do things that please you and are helpful for your mental health.

What Really Matters is That You and Your Husband are on The Same Team

That team is called marriage.

In that team, the opinion of both sides should be valued.  

No one is constantly telling anyone what to do.

Mutual advice is given, and the spouses’ wishes are respected without imposing one’s opinion.

Is your husband ready to make your marriage such a powerful team?

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