Any stable marriage works with both spouses contributing together to their relationship. The problem occurs when one spouse does not do enough towards it, in the opinion of the other.
In this case, you are the one who is not doing enough, and your wife is unsatisfied with it.
Why does your wife think that you don’t do enough? Because she feels that you are not contributing enough to your marriage by neglecting her or the whole family.
You may be wondering what you’re doing so badly.
Are you really that bad husband, or she exaggerates?
It is true that husbands know to fall into the marital routine, neglect their wives, or expect them to do everything around the house.
But also, maybe your wife is too demanding, and you can’t keep up with her pace.
We know that marriage is a two-way street, and one spouse’s behavior affects the other’s behavior.
This article will deal with why she thinks you need to do more. Also, how to better understand her to change something so that harmony reigns again in your marriage.
Your Wife Thinks You Don’t Do Enough? 4 Probable Reasons
We know that sometimes it seems to you that your wife is asking too much of you, but you have to ask yourself if this is true and what you are doing wrong.
What are the most common areas where you don’t do enough, according to your wife?
These are most likely:
1. Your Wife Says You Don’t Do Enough Around The House
Ah, those household chores, how many arguments have they caused in marriages.
They may seem small at first, but they can lead to significant problems in a marriage and even divorce.
How many evenings have been ruined because of an argument over who will wash the dishes?
Or how many times have you and your wife argued because you didn’t take out the trash?
According to Harvard Business Study, an incredible fact is that 25% of divorces happen because of disagreements about house chores.
Your wife tries to make a schedule and organize house chores, but somehow everything falls on her.
Maybe she decided to be a housewife, but that doesn’t mean she must do everything around the house.
It annoys her when you say you’re going to do something and you don’t.
She always has to remind you.
Even those “manly” jobs, such as repairs around the house, must be done by her.
What you love most is coming home, being greeted like a hero, everything being in perfect condition, and then lying on the couch and playing video games all day.
Your behavior may be the result of bad parenting.
Your parents did not prepare you for life enough and did everything around the house for you, and now you expect the same from your wife.
2. Your Wife Thinks You Don’t Help Enough With The Kids
Being a parent is the most beautiful role, but also the most responsible.
Some new dads think they can continue exactly the same life they led before becoming a father.
When they realize how much responsibility parenthood is, they can think that becoming a father has ruined their life.
Children require a lot of attention and love.
But kids also require a lot of patience and putting their needs before your own.
You know all that, but why does your wife have to do everything alone with the children?
Does your wife sometimes call you too lazy to be a parent?
Children need the active participation of both parents while growing up.
No wonder she’s mad at you.
The fact that she may have decided to be a stay-at-home mom does not mean that the children are entirely her responsibility.
Or are you the “fun dad”?
The one who comes home from work plays with the children for half an hour, gives them as much candy as they want, and then leaves them to their mom.
You are a relaxed, fun, funny parent, and your wife is a serious and strict parent.
Mom is the one who has to think about everything, what the children ate, doctor appointments, clean clothes, and whether they finished their homework.
You are only there to play with the children, and your wife is for everything else.
That’s not fair to your wife.
3. Your Wife Thinks You Don’t Make Enough Money
Money is often the subject of arguments in marriages.
Your wife is not happy with how much you earn, whether that is justified on her part or not.
We will ask you two questions:
Do you earn little, work little, and don’t want to change that?
You are simply someone who doesn’t care that much about material things.
You choose the easiest jobs so that you have to work the least.
Staying at the same dead-end job for your whole life is not a problem.
Your wife hates your job because she thinks you deserve better, but you are too unmotivated and lazy to change it.
Do you work a lot and earn a decent amount of money, but your wife is never satisfied?
No matter how much you earn, your wife demands more.
It’s unfair to overwork yourself without your wife appreciating it and asking for more.
This can create a lot of pressure and affect your self-confidence.
4. Your Wife Thinks You Don’t Care About Her Enough
These three reasons mentioned above indicate that you don’t care enough about her, but here we consider things that relate directly to her.
Marriage often falls into a routine, and spouses can neglect each other.
That’s exactly how your wife feels. Her feelings are hurt.
She thinks you don’t care and don’t respect her enough.
Why does your wife think you don’t care about her?
- You make her jealous – has she noticed that you don’t respect boundaries with female coworkers at work? Or do you constantly comment in front of her about how other women are beautiful? Jealousy is highly justified in these cases.
- You make her feel insecure – when was the last time you complimented her on something? You commented negatively about her weight even when she lost a few pounds.
- You put your family and friends before hers – Does every holiday have to be celebrated with your parents? Or are you putting her in an awkward position because you don’t want to set boundaries with your family?
- You’re not trying hard enough in marriage – When was the last time you went on a date with your wife? Every time she asks you out, you find an excuse or lie. Where is that sweet man from the begging of the marriage who always had time for his wife?
What Should You Do When Your Wife Thinks You Don’t Do Enough?
This whole situation can destroy your marriage and lead to divorce.
You have to determine why she is dissatisfied with your efforts in marriage.
Even more important is whether or not her dissatisfaction with you is realistic and justified.
Don’t play any blame games. Just face yourself in the mirror and realize if you’re the one who really isn’t contributing enough to your marriage.
However, what if your wife is the one who demands too much from you?
Is she one who is unrealistic with her expectations of you?
In both cases, you need to understand whether it’s your fault or not.
Healthy communication is the key to solving problems in a marriage.
Love is beautiful, but it must be accompanied by the partner’s respect as the perfect mix for a successful marriage.
Housework and responsibilities around children can be solved with good organization and sharing the chores.
You are not a guest in your house, and your wife is not your maid.
If you don’t respect your wife’s feelings, just put yourself in her position.
How would you feel if she behaved that way?
The next time she tells you something bothers her, don’t get angry but listen to her nicely.
If her words hurt you, and you feel that her constant dissatisfaction with your efforts in marriage bothers you, you must tell her.
It is possible to establish boundaries in a relationship without being controlling.
Maybe your wife is demanding too much from you, and telling her that she is putting pressure on you is not considered.
Know that, unfortunately, sometimes nothing you do will be enough if the relationship isn’t right.
“Great marriages don’t happen by luck or by accident. They are the result of a consistent investment of time, thoughtfulness, forgiveness, affection, prayer, mutual respect, and a rock-solid commitment between a husband and a wife.”— Dave Willis
So don’t let the routine of marriage and life swallow you up and stop you from doing enough for your relationship.
Even if your wife is the one who demands too much from you, don’t just give up.
Talk to her and try to understand her reasons.
In the end, you both have the same goal: to improve your marriage.