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My Wife Wants to Move, But I Don’t – What to Do?

Marriage is a union based on compromise. What can seriously shake any marriage is when the spouses do not want to live in the same place.

In this case, you are the one who doesn’t want to move, and your wife really wants to.

What to do when your wife wants you to move, and you don’t? Understand why your wife wants to move, think about all the potential benefits of moving, and try to find a mutual solution.

Young couple carrying big cardboard box at new home

That mutual solution seems very far away to you now, even unattainable.

The topic of moving opens the door to huge arguments in marriage.

Moving is a stressful process that requires a lot of effort from both partners.

Arguments are inevitable if one partner is holding it back; in this case, it’s you.

There may be a deeper problem in your marriage, which then comes to the fore.

In any case, in this article, we will discuss why your wife wants to move.

Also, we will find some solutions on how you should approach this situation.

Why Does Your Wife Want to Move? 3 Possible Reasons

As much as you don’t want to hear about the move, it would be best if you tried to understand your wife.

Also, no matter how much her wish doesn’t make sense to you and you consider it irrational, you have to listen to her reasons.

It is the first step towards finding a solution and a common compromise.

Potential reasons why his wife wants to move are:

1. Your Wife Thinks You’ll Be More Financially Stable if You Move

Money problems are known to be one of the primary motivators for moving.

Your wife thinks you will have more money if you move to a different city.

In the city where you live, you are stuck in dead-end jobs.

You both are unhappy with how much you earn, considering how much you work.

Moving to a bigger city would provide you with a much better choice of jobs and therefore a higher salary.

And no, we are not saying that your wife is too obsessed with material things.

She only wants what is best for your family.

Your wife may even consider you lazy and unmotivated because you have no motivation to look for a better job and move.

2. Your Wife is Unhappy in The City Where You Live

young woman thinking

Let’s assume she moved to your city because of you.

It was all wonderful at the beginning, but the magic wore off over time.

In the city where you live, she feels trapped and isolated.

Let’s also imagine that it is a small town in question.

Small towns can be charming, but they can also be very toxic.

You already know how it can be in small towns: everyone knows everyone, and people like to interfere too much in other people’s lives and gossip.

Is there anything worse than lousy neighbors who like to pry into other people’s lives too much?

There is also that dreaded feeling of monotony in a small town, which torments your wife.

She feels that she is missing out on events and opportunities that she would have in a big city.

I know this all seems unfair to you because she agreed to live in your town, and now she’s unhappy about it.

There may be deeper problems and even irreconcilable differences.

It is possible that she feels neglected by you.

You go to work that you love and live in your hometown, and she feels like a stranger.

She even thinks deciding to be a housewife or work from home is a bad idea.

Her career would be much better if she lived in a bigger city.

Your wife is questioning whether moving to your city was a big mistake that ruined her life.

In her opinion, you’re selfish and put yourself before her because you don’t want to do anything about her wanting to move.

3. She Thinks You’ll Be Happier Overall if You Move

Is your wife right or wrong?

We will consider two examples:

Example 1. Your Wife Wants You to Move to a Bigger City

Bigger the city, the more opportunities.

We’ve already highlighted finances as a factor, but they can be one of many factors.

Your wife believes that bigger cities offer much more opportunities in every sense.

If you have children, your wife believes they will have better educational opportunities.

Social life is much richer in a big city because there are concerts, sports events, theaters, cinemas, etc.

Example 2. Your Wife Wants You to Move to a Smaller Town

Usually, everyone chases after bigger cities, but there is also a noticeable trend of moving to smaller towns and villages among the new generations.

It is affected by:

  • A healthier environment – because we all know how polluted big cities are. The air and food are much healthier in small towns.
  • The price of housing – everyone wants to live in the city, so the prices of apartments are enormous. You probably know some examples of small apartments rented out for huge sums because they are in the center.
  • A simpler life – a big city brings a lot of hustle and stress. A smaller place is much more relaxed to live in.
  • Remote work – the expansion of this trend is still on the rise. Today, working in a large company and living in a small village is possible with work from home.

What to Do When Your Wife Wants to Move, and You Don’t? 3 Steps for Solution

couple talking about problems

Arguments about moving are getting out of hand, and it’s time to do something about it.

Try these steps:

1. Listen Carefully and Try to Understand Your Wife

No, don’t change the subject every time she mentions moving.

Or worse, you get angry and say things that make you feel bad later.

Communication is the key, and you and your wife have a big topic you need to discuss well.

2. Think About What You Want

Where do you see yourself in the future?

Do you only care about your job and career? Or to have your family close to you so you can spend all the holidays together?

Um, that’s all nice, but you must also consider your wife’s wishes.

Aren’t you selfish, only looking at your own interest and neglecting your wife?

3. Discusses Your Marriage With Your Spouse

Is there a more profound problem behind her desire to move?

Maybe your love has also faded, and your wife thinks it will be renewed if you move.

Just know that if the problems are too big, you can move from place to place, but the issues will remain the same.

Practical Versus Sentimental Reasons for Moving

Is your wife right?

Are you really going to have a better life out there somewhere?

Maybe your wife is right, and you are the one who is holding back your family’s happiness.

It would help if you considered the following:

1. Moving Issues

Moving is difficult, stressful, and requires a lot of effort.

Especially when you decide to move your whole life to another place.

Explore the market and find the perfect apartment to live in.

Determine if it fits your needs.

Also, consider whether you will hire a moving company for the move or do it yourself.

2. Financial Reasons

Those finances again, but what to do when they are essential.

Moving can bring many benefits but can also be risky, especially financially.

Research carefully what opportunities are offered in another city and how you would manage them.

Calculate the cost of living in your current place of residence and in the place where you want to move.

3. Potential Opportunities

Will the new place bring significant new opportunities for your family?

Find out if there are parks for children, what kind of schools, and sports fields are there.

Also, are there any fun activities for you, such as restaurants, concerts, and sports events?

Bonus tip: Spend family time where your wife wants you to live.

We know it can be challenging, especially if you are tied up with work, but try to set aside at least a week to get to know your new surroundings.

We know it’s a vacation, not real life, but that way, you’ll at least have some idea if it’s the place for you or not.

People often click immediately with a new place. Maybe that happens to you too.

As for sentimental reasons, ask yourself if you could emotionally handle the move. 

Maybe you are that guy who wants to live in his hometown for his whole life. 

You are too attached to your parents and the place where you grew up. 

That’s all nice, but don’t let that feeling block you in your life and potentially deny your wife and children of potentially better future.

It’s not the end of the world if the move is unsuccessful and you return to your hometown. At least you tried.

To Summarize

Moving is a leap of faith and requires risk.

It is up to you not to ignore your wife and her desire to move. Instead, work together to determine if this is the right move for your family.

Whether you stay at the same address or move away, we hope you’ll be happy with your decision together.