Unless your husband is engaged in some particular job where he doesn’t interact with others, it is almost impossible to avoid male-to-female interaction at the workplace.
As much as you are aware of that, his actions still make you feel jealous.
So what are the most obvious signs that your husband does not respect boundaries with female coworkers?
Their relationship has moved from professional to private; they constantly talk on the phone or text, he stays at work longer with her, and your husband neglects you and your marriage.
This is a challenging and complex situation.
It hurts you and makes you feel insecure, but you also wonder if you might be overimagining it.
All of this makes you extremely paranoid and worried about your marriage.
You don’t want to destroy a marriage based on an assumption without proof.
Let’s first see the signs that your husband likes his female colleagues more than he should.
Inappropriate Work Relationship – 8 Signs
It is necessary to draw the line between professional and private life at work.
However, this is sometimes difficult to achieve and sustain.
Think about it, at work we spend hours and hours with someone.
If we travel with coworkers, it can be the whole half of the day with some people with whom we are not connected by anything but work.
Mixing professional and personal relationships is possible, and various potential affairs can happen.
Potential scenarios are going through your head.
Your husband’s current behavior is very suspicious, and you feel he is crossing the line with his female colleagues at work.
What are the red flags that he has gone too far?
1. Husband Stays Longer at Work
It is normal to stay at work longer sometimes, depending on the type of work.
Maybe you need the extra money from overtime, so you don’t have to attack your husband immediately.
However, how come it’s always when he works longer at work than when there’s that one female colleague of his that makes you anxious?
That strange coincidence makes you highly suspicious.
2. Husband Suddenly Loves His Job
It’s great that he loves his job, but he hated it until recently.
He used to go to work lifeless and depressed, but now he suddenly goes to work enthusiastically and happily.
How is it that this change happened when a new female colleague came to his department with whom he has to work together?
Also, at home, he is disinterested and says he will do something but doesn’t, and you can tell he can’t wait to get back to work.
How much he loves his job suddenly, he should become an employee of the year.
3. The Husband Dresses Up Too Much For Work
Your husband has always been relaxed when it comes to dressing.
He follows a specific dress code of his company but is never bothered about it.
Now it’s an entirely different story.
Your husband has suddenly become someone who dresses up too much for work.
You wonder who this model is, new fancy suits, expensive perfumes, and until recently, he only cared about having something to wear.
Maybe your husband has a mid-life crisis, and men often know to behave like that at that age.
4. Business Trips
He started working overtime, which doesn’t bother you as much as those constant business trips.
Seminars, additional education, team buildings, you wonder if all that is really necessary.
You are especially annoyed by the photos he and his work colleagues post on social networks.
In those pictures, everyone is smiling, it looks like they’re having a great time, and of course, there’s that one female coworker you’re highly suspicious of.
Hotel walls are an ideal place for affairs.
That claim is supported by research according to which 36 percent of men and 13 percent of women reported cheating on their partners when they went on business trips, according to data on nearly 100,000 people.
5. He is Always On His Phone
Now we come to the more obvious signs of something going on between your husband and the female coworker.
Your husband is always on the phone, smiling while talking and acting like a teenager.
The topics he talks about seem unrelated to his job, even though he says it’s just business.
If he’s not talking on the phone, he’s texting and giggling like a teenage girl in love.
When you ask him what’s so funny, he says it’s some joke from work that you wouldn’t understand.
Even when you talk to him, he’s not listening because he’s always looking at his phone.
You should also pay attention to social networks.
Does your husband follow all his female coworkers on Instagram?
If he follows them, is his like on all their beach pictures, with a fire emoji too?
He acts defensive and offended when you ask him to check with whom he corresponds.
You don’t want to be someone who secretly checks your husband’s phone, but you’re tempted to do it.
Especially when he receives notifications during the night that makes you unable to sleep.
6. He Keeps Talking About That New Female Coworker
On a scale of 1 to 10, how much does this just get on your nerves?
The mere mention of her name makes you tense.
You have to constantly hear how wonderful a colleague Susan is.
In addition to being great at her job, she is into fitness, travels, and cooks fabulous meals that she brings to work for everyone. She is simply a superwoman.
Your husband even stated that his female colleague is good-looking, and this is not the first time he has said that some woman is beautiful.
If he was comparing you even to her in some way, that’s a huge red flag that hardly any woman can cross.
Maybe that’s why you start to associate some things with her.
Let’s say your husband tells you that you should lose weight. You automatically associate that he thinks that she is hotter than you.
Has your husband started using that stupid term work spouse?
The term started as a joke but has become normal nowadays.
A work spouse is a coworker of the opposite sex with whom we have a purely platonic relationship and are closely related by work. Often that relationship has a similar dynamic to a real marriage.
In addition to being degrading, the term is also highly cringe-worthy.
7. He Avoids Talking About a Certain Female Coworker
It’s bad when he always talks about her, but it’s also wrong when he doesn’t want to talk about her.
As soon as he hears her name, he gets upset and quickly wants to change the subject.
How can you not suspect him when he has reactions like this.
8. He Doesn’t Want You to Visit Him at Work
At the very mention of the topic of you coming to his place for work, he gets upset.
He probably has a whole list of reasons why you shouldn’t come to his work.
Maybe he’s afraid you might find out if you come to visit him at work.
All this makes you hate his job because you suspect something is happening between him and his female coworker.
How Does All This Affect Your Marriage?
Constant doubt leads to arguments and distancing between you and your husband.
Do you think you and your husband have drifted apart because you consider that he does not respect boundaries with female colleagues?
You may start accusing him that he doesn’t care about you, and he may blame you that you don’t care about him.
Either way, the marriage is in crisis, and you need to do something about it.
What to Do When You Think Your Husband Does Not Respect Boundaries With Female Coworkers?
You believe that the marriage is still worth saving and that the potential affair has not happened, but that everything is still platonic.
Try these steps:
1. Understand That You Are Not Paranoid if Something Hurts You
You’ll probably feel like you’re being too paranoid.
The fact that you feel bad because you suspect something is reason enough to do something about it.
If there are at least some signs from above, you have reason to suspect and are not paranoid.
2. Have a Serious Conversation With Your Husband
It’s time for that serious conversation where you tell him how his behavior is affecting you.
Remember that nothing happened between your husband and his female coworker does not mean the problem does not exist.
Don’t attack him, but don’t let him gaslight you and convince you that you’re just imagining it.
3. Establish Boundaries That Your Husband Should Respect
Just because your husband is a laid-back person who likes to flirt doesn’t mean you have to put up with it.
It’s time to clarify the boundaries he must respect with female colleagues.
The boundaries should be like this:
- He must not flirt with female coworkers.
- He must not see them outside of work.
- He must not misbehave with them because, in addition to that bothering you, it can lead to sexual harassment.
- He must not praise another female person in a way that degrades you.
- He must not leave inappropriate comments on social networks.
- If he’s always on the phone, he should tell you what is happening instead of hiding it from you.
To Sum It All Up,
You must not let the feeling of jealousy and doubt eat you from the inside.
Your husband may not be having an affair, but that doesn’t mean he can overstep the boundaries in his relationship with female coworkers.
Don’t feel like a strict woman when you make it clear to him that he has to respect the boundaries of decency with female colleagues.
If even after all your efforts, he continues to behave the same way, it’s time to seriously think about the future of your marriage.
When he doesn’t respect boundaries with female coworkers, he doesn’t respect you, and you certainly don’t want such a marriage.