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What to Do When You Hate Your Husband’s Job?

Love is beautiful, and although it is the basis of a quality marriage, sometimes it is just not enough. Living together requires many compromises and many adjustments. 

At the same time, apart from the factors that you directly influence, many things affect your life and marriage, which you cannot control.

Stressed young married family couple arguing emotionally, blaming lecturing each other, sitting on couch

You can’t choose when great business opportunities come your way. And you also cannot fully influence the pace at which your or your husband’s career will develop.

Sometimes we make decisions that seem great, and after a while, things turn out to be not so great. These are widespread situations when it comes to career issues.

They offer you a great position, but with it comes so much stress that your life turns upside down. 

Every decision your husband makes affects the entire family system. If any family member suffers, the whole system will feel it. 

So for starters, it’s perfectly normal that you don’t like a job that makes your husband nervous, absent, or depressed. Sometimes they bother us and quite the opposite.

Sometimes we have a hard time getting used to the change.

Let’s see what you can do to improve the situation for both of you. But first, it is vital to determine what actually bothers you about your husband’s job. 

My Husband Works Too Much, and I Feel Lonely

Depressed young woman

Every change in a relationship requires a new adjustment. If you are used to spending a lot of time with your husband, a new job that completely changes your routine can trigger different feelings

However, if your husband is satisfied with his career, and in general, your family enjoys many benefits thanks to that new job, your feeling of loneliness should not stand in the way of family happiness. 

Such situations are an opportunity to realize that quality is really more important than quality. In other words, how you spend time together is important, not how much.

On the other hand, feeling lonely sometimes has nothing to do with the presence of other people. How often do you feel lonely? 

The key to overcoming this feeling is to find people around you who share the same interests as you.

In the company of people with whom we have nothing in common, we can often feel more lonely than when we are alone.

Maybe it’s worth asking yourself if you’ve focused too much on your relationship with your husband. 

Maybe in your environment, there are already people with whom you can be close and who you didn’t notice because your partner was everything to you. 

Regardless of your husband’s job, focusing too much on just one intimate relationship is neither good nor healthy, even though you may feel marriage is the most essential thing in your life.

My Husband Works Too Much and Often Lashes Out at the Kids and Me

reading news in bathroom

You were really looking forward to your husband’s new business opportunity. However, you noticed that his behavior changed dramatically since he started his new job. 

He wants everything his way, and work is all he talks about. 

We all deal with stress differently, and, normally, sometimes we feel like we’re going to explode, we want to lash out at someone and vent all the burden and anger. 

However, if your husband is lashing out in all the wrong places and the whole family suffers because of the stress he experiences, it still does not mean that the problem is his new job. 

The real problem is his lack of stress management skills. 

So, no matter how hard it is for you, it is necessary to show your husband that such behavior towards you is not proper, no matter how hard it is for him at work. 

You can suggest he explores some stress management techniques, seek psychological counseling, or find another outlet for all the frustrations and stress he brings from work.

My Husband Has Changed Since He Got a New Job 

It all started out great, but you notice your husband behaves differently since he got the new job. You can’t say that his behavior is worse or better than before, it’s just different, and that disturbs you a bit. 

In fact, it is quite natural that when a person changes their environment, they also adopt some new patterns of behavior, attitudes, and thoughts. 

We spend a good part of our lives at work, and it is a fact that it affects us. 

Maybe your husband needs to be private in a new environment, so he unconsciously adopts the culture of that environment. 

Perhaps he is going through a process of adjustment and is still looking for his optimal mode of behavior in the new job. 

Maybe he is learning new things and acquiring new skills, and this naturally reflects on his personality as a whole. 

All in all, as long as your relationship is okay and his behavior does not have a harmful effect on any family member, these changes are not a cause for concern. 

Relax, follow his pace, talk – that should be enough to drive away unfounded worries.

My Husband’s Job Is Against My Moral Beliefs 

When your husband’s job is against your moral beliefs, but your husband has no problem with its ethical aspects, it is time to set appropriate boundaries between the two of you. 

There are very few universal rules that are important in a relationship. 

The survival of your relationship depends on your agreement, which can be completely different from the usual ways other couples function. 

If you lose respect for your husband because of the work he does, it can be a severe threat to the relationship. 

No matter how hard you try to hide or soften your attitude, if you perceive his work as something very bad that you disagree with, it is a matter of the moment you will start questioning your husband’s personality. 

Suppose you are just a little annoyed by his job and you understand that he probably didn’t have a better choice or that the benefits of the job greatly outweigh its disadvantages. 

In that case, it will be enough to practice tolerance. In any case, an open conversation without judgment is inevitable.

My Husband Cares Only for Work 

Your husband has always loved his work, but since he got the new job, work seems the only thing he loves. 

Maybe it is time to consider the quality of your relationship with him. 

Do you feel that something is missing? Are you still close to each other as you used to be at the beginning of your relationship? 

Is his job really so attention-consuming that he can’t dedicate any time or attention to his family? 

If your husband is simply too overwhelmed with the new job, new responsibilities, new colleagues, and new projects, he might feel like he can’t allow himself to care for anything else at the moment. 

Such behavior may be a stress response if this is just an adjustment phase. But if he continues to be so consumed with his work for a prolonged period of time, you should definitely talk to him about your worries. 

If you find your husband so preoccupied with his work, remind him that he’s not setting the proper example for your kids. 

My Husband Travels Too Much, and I am Jealous

If your husband’s job involves a lot of travel, and there is only a grain of insecurity in your relationship, this situation can easily trigger feelings like jealousy and fear of abandonment in you. 

But, if you have no objective reasons to worry, in the sense that your partner has no history of problematic behavior and cheating in relationships, nor has he ever cheated on you before, the only thing that should worry you is your insecurity. 

A person who wants to cheat you does not have to travel to do it. It may seem to you that traveling offers more opportunities for fooling around. 

Still, the reality is that those who want such opportunities can find them everywhere. 

The best remedy for this type of insecurity is to take care of yourself, devote yourself to your interests, passions, or hobbies, and take the focus off your partner. 

You will see that the more you focus on yourself, the less you worry about your relationship and your partner. 

Don’t forget that you also stay home alone when your husband is on the road, so he has no less reason to be jealous than you.

Final Thoughts 

As long as you are close and respect each other’s needs, no job can threaten your marriage. 

Talk, look for ways, and no matter how you feel, don’t isolate yourself, but seek the support and understanding of your partner. 

Marriage should make our lives more beautiful, not harder.