How often have you heard someone saying: “They are sitting in a cafe and no one is talking to anyone, but everyone is looking at their phones”?
You’ve probably heard it so often that you’re already tired of it, but it’s true.
Phones have become an extended part of our bodies, whether we want to admit it or not.
And how could they not be when the whole world is on our phones?
In addition to the phone’s old primary roles, such as calls and messages, there are now social networks, applications, video games, and various reminders.
Everyone is on their phones, from small children watching Peppa Pig to elders posting “Good morning” pictures on Facebook.
Interestingly, this addiction to phones is new to us as a species because it can be said that its expansion has only been in the last ten years.
But it spread extremely fast, and now if you don’t have a phone, it’s like you don’t belong in this world.
However, this is not a “technology is bad” article. Technology is actually great. It gives us so many possibilities.
In addition to entertainment, serious business is conducted with the help of smartphones. The possibilities are endless.
We are here to talk about one of our newly adopted forms of behavior.
You are talking to someone, the conversation is going great, but suddenly you are slightly nervous, you lose concentration on what the other person is saying, and you quickly have to check the phone to calm your need.
And that little itch is the subject of this article, why it occurs, and how to reduce it.
What is Phubbing?
It sounds funny, like it’s a made-up word. Well, that’s not far from the truth, considering that the term was invented by an Australian advertising agency in 2012 and was later included in the dictionary.
The word phubbing is a combination of the words phone and snubbing. It means you snub someone by looking at your phone and not paying attention to them.
Whether you wanted to admit it or not, you must have phubbed someone or someone phubbed you.
Here is an example of phubbing:
You are in a restaurant with a partner, and he tells you how he got a new job. You slowly lean towards your phone, ready to drift into another dimension.
Your partner tells you something important about herself, and you watch funny videos of cats on your phone.
When caught in the act, phubbers usually say, “Yes, I’m listening to you” or “I’m just checking something on my phone, but I’m following everything you’re saying.”
Phubbers often use the excuse that they are good at multitasking and can follow the conversation while on their phone.
They don’t listen, and they don’t follow.
All this may sound trivial and even normalized in today’s society, but the consequences are possible.
Is it Rude to Be On Your Phone When Someone is Talking to You?
As much as it is normalized behavior, it is generally rude to be on the phone while talking to someone.
It is a reflection of disrespect and disinterest in the interlocutor.
It is usually said that the most valuable thing you can give someone is your time.
When you notice someone disrespecting your time by looking at their phone instead of you, it’s no wonder it bothers you.
Imagine you went on a first date with someone you can’t wait to get to know better. What impression will it make on you if your date looks at the phone non-stop? It will certainly not be pleasant for you.
In What Situations is it Not Rude?
If the call or message is urgent, then it is not rude.
You can’t predict everything, and some calls must be answered, whether private or business.
Do you know what’s not urgent? Funny cat videos. That can wait.
How Does Phubbing Affect You?
First of all, it totally destroys your attention span.
Have you ever read a book and can’t even focus on one page because your phone won’t let you?
Or you’re watching a movie, for example. When was the last time you finished an entire film without looking at your phone during the movie?
If you are constantly on the phone, you can miss important pieces of information.
You might miss a lecture at school because you’re watching new Tik Tok trends.
Or you don’t hear important information at a business meeting because you had to see what your favorite actor posted on Instagram.
How Does Phubbing Affect Your Relationships With Others?
First of all, it distances you from others.
If you are constantly on the phone and don’t respect others when they want to tell you something, a distance will undoubtedly be created between you.
People close to you can also feel hurt because you ignore them.
Also, others may see you as irresponsible because you are always on the phone.
This can affect your work. After all, you missed important information because you looked at your phone like a zombie during the meeting; now, it is not clear to you what you need to do.
How to Stop Looking at Your Phone While Someone is Talking to You?
It sounds easy, but it’s not like that in reality. Especially if you are highly addicted to your phone.
First, understand that constantly looking at the phone disrespects the person you are conversing with.
Before you reach for your phone and get lost in the black hole of an algorithm spitting out what you want to see, think about how it affects the person you’re talking to.
Think about the information and resources you’re missing out on because you’re not focused because of your phone.
If you’re going to an important meeting, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to turn off as many notifications as possible.
You can also do this at home if you think the situation is such that it is necessary because even your family members warn you that you are overdoing it.
You don’t have to turn off all notifications. Leave what is essential.
What is important? Calls and messages.
Come on, be honest. Do you care about every notification from social networks or every random mail you receive because you are subscribed to a newsletter you never even read?
These notifications aren’t necessary, but their sound makes you quickly check your phone. Feel free to turn them off.
How to Avoid Using Phone Too Much?
You have concluded that you are too dependent on your phone when you are alone and not only when you are with others.
Well, you can’t even go to the bathroom without your phone.
Don’t worry. We got you covered in this case, too. Here are some quick tips:
Notifications and Applications
As we said above, you have to start with notifications first.
Turn off everything unnecessary and limit what is unnecessary.
As for apps, especially those that take up the most time, delete them or at least hide them in a folder on your phone. That way, time-consuming apps will be more “distant” to you.
Track Your Time on the Phone
To reduce the time on the phone, you need to know how much time you spend. The results may shock you.
The average person spends 3 hours and 15 minutes daily on the phone.
Applications that show how much time you spend on your phone can also help you with that.
We said above that you should minimize applications, but this app is an exception.
Fear of Missing Out
Because it’s never been easier to get information today, we must always be up to date with the latest news because we are afraid we will miss out on something.
You don’t have to know everything right away when it happens. Everything can wait, from global politics to what your friend John had for breakfast.
Try even skipping some information. There’s nothing wrong with that. It is even liberating.
Turn Off or Limit Social Networks
You realized that you spent too much time scrolling through Instagram posts or watching Tik Toks.
Maybe they are even counterproductive because you are fed up with the image propagated on them.
Try to turn them off for a while or at least limit them. Who knows, you might notice some benefits of that decision.
Kick The Phone Out of Bed
Want to reduce your phone usage? Don’t let the phone be the first thing you see in the morning and the last before bed.
You can set a classic alarm if you need it to wake up.
All Things Considered,
Phones have changed our reality, which is not necessarily a bad thing.
But let’s go back to that saying: Do not do to others what you would not like them to do to you.
So, when you want to zone out again and look at those cats on the phone while someone is talking to you, don’t.
Why did we mention videos with cats more than once in this text?
That’s the best example, because who doesn’t like watching videos of cats doing funny things? We don’t know such a person, do you?