Is your wife angry every day when you come home from work? Instead of hugs and kind words, criticism and complaints await you. And why is that so?
Because your wife thinks you work too much and she can’t take it anymore. That is the subject of your daily arguments, and the situation in your marriage is tense.
You are probably wondering how to talk to her and calm the tension that has built up.
If your wife thinks you are working too much, you must listen carefully and be there for her, find ways to prioritize your marriage over work and consider whether it is possible to reduce working hours.
All this is easier said than done because you can’t just show up at work and ask to work less. You’d get fired for something like that.
Or if you can allocate your time at work, say if you are the owner of your own company or a freelancer. You still have to work a lot because the business will fail if you don’t work that much.
If we add to that an angry wife, who may also be driven by some of her insecurities, we have a very nervous and tense situation.
This is what we will discuss in this article. We know you’re busy, but you better find the time to read it through to the end because your marriage is at stake.
5 Reasons Why Your Wife Doesn’t Like You Working Too Much?
What bothers your wife the most about your overtime work? Here are the most possible reasons:
1. You Are Never Home
It doesn’t mean you’re literally never home, but work takes up a considerable part of your day.
Your wife probably says you are at work all day and only come home to eat and sleep. It may sound like your wife exaggerates, but is there any truth to this?
If this is true, it is clear that you have neglected your family for the sake of work. Don’t be surprised if your wife hates your job because of it.
We understand that you work for your family’s future, but what does it mean when you are never there and miss all the moments with them.
You’re probably too tired when you get home from work to go for a walk with your wife or to play with the kids. Instead, you watch some TV and fall asleep on the couch in the living room.
2. When You’re at Home, You’re Still Thinking About Work
And that little time when you are home is not well used because you are not mentally present.
Your wife is trying to tell you something, but your brain is still thinking about all those work burdens.
This annoys your wife immensely, especially when she tries to tell you something important to do around the house. She has to remind you many times before you do something.
You may have adopted too much of that workaholic mindset. Here are the signs that you are a workaholic:
- Working crazy-long hours – 8 hours a day is too short for you.
- Your job is your number one priority – everything, even your wife and children, comes second.
- You miss important events because of work – how many birthdays and holidays have you missed because of your job.
- Perfectionism – you don’t except anything less than perfect regarding your job.
- Feeling anxious when you are not working – even with your family, you still think about how that time would be much more productive at work.
3. You Neglected Your Marriage For Work
Your wife feels neglected in every way because of your work.
Even if you earn a lot of money, it does not automatically mean that your wife will be happy.
The point of marriage is to be present.
You may be too busy with work to notice that your marriage is suffering, but your wife does.
Not to mention the lack of romance in your marriage. We’re sure you’re not the most romantic guy because workaholics aren’t known for being romantic.
When was the last time you took your wife out on a date or pleasantly surprised her?
Instead, you give her unpleasant surprises by forgetting important dates like the anniversary you forgot last year, and that’s why she doesn’t even want to celebrate this year.
It’s great that you make a lot of money, but why did you stop giving your wife gifts? Are you really that difficult when it comes to spending money, or are you too forgetful?
If you buy her a gift, it’s a zero-effort gift. You buy it just so she doesn’t complain, but you don’t care about choosing the perfect gift.
One of the worst decisions made by men who make a lot of money but don’t have a lot of time is to give a woman money and tell her to buy whatever she wants.
She can buy herself flowers, but the point is that you do it.
4. You Always Talk About Work
In addition to being at work most of the day, you must constantly talk about your work.
It’s annoying that you have no topic other than work. You don’t have any hobbies or interests. Your life is work.
Imagine how bored your wife is in such an environment where she has to constantly hear about your work?
We don’t just know if you’re bragging or complaining about work.
So one scenario is that your wife must constantly listen to your eulogies about how you are successful and important at work.
And the second scenario is that she has to listen to your complaints about how you can’t stand your job, how your colleagues annoy you, and similar. Your wife probably knows too much about your colleagues because they are your only topic.
5. Your Wife Feels Insecure Because You Work Too Much
We don’t know what the deal was in your house, but in this case, we’ll assume that your wife doesn’t have a job right now, so you can work more.
Some women find this ideal. But not your wife, who feels unfulfilled by it. That decision to be a housewife now seems like a mistake to her.
She wants to work and pursue her career too, but she can’t from you because you took all the spotlight and are the star in the family.
Do you underestimate her hard work around the house, or do you think that taking care of kids is easy while you’re promoting your job and pretending to be a hero? She will be furious if you do that, and she has all the right to be.
She is also possibly jealous and thinks you are having an affair at work because you often work late.
What to Do When Your Wife Thinks You Are Working Too Much?
Maybe you still think you’re a hero because you work hard, and perhaps you’re starting to realize that you’re making mistakes in your marriage.
Here’s what you should do:
1. Reevaluate Your Financial Situation With Your Spouse
We also have to consider the possibility that you have to work that much.
You may have various financial debts or be saving money for something big for your family.
In that case, your wife should understand you because that is temporary and for common goals.
But what if you don’t need to work as hard because you’re doing well financially?
Then why are you still working so hard? What does work mean to you? Is there anything else besides work that fulfills you? Those are the questions you should ask yourself then.
2. Try to Organize Working Hours Differently
We know this is sometimes impossible, depending on the type of work you do.
But there may be an option, especially if you can organize your working hours and you don’t have fixed working hours.
A work-from-home solution would be a good option for you and your wife.
3. Don’t Think About Work When You’re at Home
It means nothing to be home when your brain is still at work.
You have to learn to separate private from work time.
When you are home, be present.
So don’t continuously check your phone and e-mails, instead of listening to what your wife is saying when you know that annoys her.
You sit down in the evening to watch a movie and spend time together, and you look at your phone constantly, stop that rude habit!
4. Don’t Underestimate Your Wife
Thinking that you are better than your wife because you work so much will create resentment in your marriage.
We will tell you immediately that if you have fallen into the role of a hero, and you are a great provider while your wife “only” cleans the house and takes care of the children, stop it immediately.
In addition to belittling someone’s efforts, you can negatively affect your wife’s self-confidence.
Most Importantly – Don’t Neglect Your Wife
Never let your job be more important than your wife.
It is best to find a balance in your work with your wife so that you are on the same page and no one is dissatisfied.
Your presence matters the most to your wife, not your presents.
Keep that in mind, and therefore keep that workaholic in yourself under control.