Dating as a single parent can be challenging. Did you find dating difficult before you had a kid? Now it’s just as hard, plus much more.
In addition to not having enough time to date, other unforeseen circumstances may arise.
Dating is complicated because you never know what kind of person you will meet, but if you have a child from a previous relationship and want to meet someone new, arm yourself with a lot of patience.
Let’s say you meet a new partner, everything is going great, and you think he’s the one, but a huge disappointment follows because you realize he doesn’t like your daughter.
What should you do then? Or an even better question, who should you prioritize, your partner or your daughter? The answer to this question is clear: your daughter goes first, but you should give the new partner a chance to explain his position.
Your kid always goes first, but that doesn’t mean you should stop dating altogether. It is only essential that you pay attention to how you present your views on the relationship to your new partner and how he perceives it.
Everyone around you will automatically tell you to dump your new partner who doesn’t like your daughter. We’re not saying you shouldn’t do it, but we’re going to go deeper into this topic to make things more transparent.
6 Signs That Your New Partner Doesn’t Love Your Child
Sometimes it’s hard to understand that your new partner doesn’t like your child from your previous relationship.
A potential reason for this is that you are too in love and idealize your new partner to the point that you don’t want to see the truth.
Here are some clear signs that your new partner is not into your daughter:
1. He Doesn’t Appreciate The Fact That You Have a Child
Maybe your new partner says he doesn’t mind you having a child, but his behavior says otherwise.
He expects that you are always available and can go to lunch with him or have fun.
This kind of partner cannot even understand that you first have obligations toward your child.
2. He Thinks You Spend Too Much Time With Your Child
Your new partner keeps accusing you of spending too much time with your daughter.
He probably mentions some studies about children needing to spend more time alone to be more independent. Or he tells you that you don’t devote enough time to yourself because all your time is spent on your daughter.
And worst of all, he thinks you should spend more time with him and a little less with your daughter.
3. He Makes Plans Without Involving Your Child
Your new partner has decided to surprise you with a trip to a beautiful location.
How sweet of him… But he completely forgot that you have a daughter and obligations towards her.
And after all, you want to take your daughter with you.
Now it all depends on how old the child is. Because it is entirely normal for the child to be looked after by the grandparents and for you to have free time.
But your new partner doesn’t even think about the fact that you first need to think about whether you’re going to take your daughter with you, or if you don’t want to, whether there’s someone to look after her.
In the end, it turns out that there is no one to look after her, and your partner gets angry because his trip is ruined.
Just remember the drama he created because you didn’t celebrate New Year’s Eve together because you had no one to look after your child that night.
4. He’s Questioning Your Parenting Methods
It is incredibly irritating when someone from the outside tries to “advise” us on how to raise our child.
Ok, you got into a relationship with a new partner, but that doesn’t mean he can now determine how you will raise your child.
This does not stop him from constantly talking negatively about your child. According to him, your child is poorly raised and misbehaves, continually causing problems, and so on.
He doesn’t hesitate to re-educate and discipline your child with his methods without your approval.
5. He Doesn’t Want To Be A Parent
Everyone has the right to make their own choices. If someone does not want to be a parent, that is their decision.
It’s just that you’re not asking for him to suddenly be the perfect parent to your child. You want a little respect and understanding that you have a child. However, you won’t get that from this kind of partner.
The fact that the new partner told you at the start that he thinks that if he becomes a parent, it will ruin his life is already a huge red flag.
It can be a sign that he does not like children, but also that he is lazy, irresponsible, and does not want to take responsibility, especially for such big things as a child.
Again, to each their own. Everyone has different priorities in life, and your partner has the right to live as he wishes. And if he told you all this, that means he is honest.
But one thing is for sure, this is not the right partner for you.
6. Your Child Doesn’t Like Your Partner
We don’t know how old your daughter is, but children are often right regarding their parents’ new partners.
It is true that children can be difficult in accepting new people in their life and can be unkind at first, but with time it all comes into its own.
Enough time has passed, but nothing has changed. Your daughter can’t stand your new partner, avoids seeing him, and makes a scene every time you go out with him.
We can’t blame her because the child feels he doesn’t love her, so why should she love him? It’s time to listen to your child.
What Should You Do When Your Partner Doesn’t Like Your Daughter?
Although you thought that this partner was the right one and that he would finally understand you as a single parent, it turned out that you were wrong.
If your new partner shows all these signs that he doesn’t love your daughter, we have to tell you what most people would say: break up with him.
This kind of relationship has no future, and the fact that he doesn’t love your child is something you will never be able to get over.
But we have a few tips for dating in the future and how to avoid this situation happening to you again, and they are:
1. Be Honest From The Start
When you meet a new partner, you must immediately be honest about your child.
That doesn’t seem like a very appropriate topic for a first date, but it really is. Your child is the most important thing in the world to you, and you need to let your new partner know that.
Tell him clearly that sometimes you will not be able to see him because you are helping the child with homework and similar.
2. Ask Your New Partner What He Thinks About Children
You were honest; it’s time for him to be honest too.
Your new partner may tell you that he loves children, but later it turns out that this is not true.
If he immediately tells you that he does not like kids, and you realize that he will not understand you and your child in the future, it is best to end it there.
Some people aren’t parent material and don’t have that instinct, but you can’t fool yourself that they will change.
Big misunderstandings like this quickly lead to the end of the relationship. So why drag yourself and your daughter into something with no future.
3. Don’t Try to Rush Things
We know that you think of various romantic movies in which the new partner immediately accepts the partner’s child as his own and becomes the perfect parent. We are not saying that it is not possible, but it is better to take things slow.
Don’t try to force anything on your new partner or your daughter.
Let them get used to each other naturally because if you force it, the process will be even more difficult.
4. Don’t Let Your New Partner Interfere With Your Parenting Methods
New partners often know how to give more importance to themselves and immediately enter the role of parents, even though no one asks them to.
That may change over time if you decide that your partner is someone who can raise your child properly.
Currently, his attempts to re-educate your child are a huge red flag.
Unless your daughter is an adult and independent person, you must put her needs first before yours.
A new partner should not immediately jump into the parent’s shoes but should be someone who understands you and your daughter.
Dating as a single parent can seem complicated, but everything will fall into place once you find the right person. Until then, enjoy yourself with your daughter.
Your new partner may be temporary, but your daughter is forever.