Having a husband who works too much can be a double-edged sword.
It is a good thing when the husband is a responsible and hardworking person.
However, it is not so great when he is always tired from work, and when he comes home, he just sleeps and completely ignores you.
It is clear that your husband is tired when he comes home from work because he works a lot.
However, factors that can also affect this are excessive desire for career success, narcissism, and a workaholic mindset.
Your current situation is that you need help figuring out what to do.
You want to help him and make it easier for him to be happy when he comes home from work.
But you also want to spend quality time together, to help you with household chores, to pay attention to you and your contribution to your family.
This is precisely the topic of this article; how to help your husband and make him pay more attention to you and be involved in other things besides his job.
Why is Your Husband Always Tired From Work? 3 Reasons
It’s clear that he’s tired because he’s working too much, but let’s dig a little deeper into his attitude toward work.
For which of the following reasons do you find your husband?
1. Your Husband is a Workaholic
Many wonders if being a workaholic is a bad thing?
A workaholic is a person who works excessively and compulsively and is unable to detach from work.
While some of your friends complain that their husbands are too lazy and unmotivated, you complain about the opposite.
Workaholics love their job, which is ok, but they also believe they justify their worth by working too much.
Behind his workaholic mindset, he often hides imposter syndrome, lack of self-confidence, and the desire to prove himself to others.
Men often think they have to work all the time and be the ultimate providers.
They often associate life’s happiness too much with work and think that they are unsuccessful in life if they are not successful at work.
Parents can easily produce children who are workaholics.
They want their children to be ready for life and instill too many work habits in them.
Again, we want to uphold the importance of healthy work habits and hard work.
But there is no point in exhausting ourselves physically and mentally and driving away from our family just because we like to work.
Yes, your husband is a workaholic, works a lot, and earns well, but you feel neglected, and your husband doesn’t even notice.
You always have to remind him to do something, or he is too tired to do anything because he works too much.
2. Your Husband Always Puts Himself Before You
Actually, he is not only in front of you, but he puts himself in front of everyone.
Your husband is the type of person who would step over dead bodies to get ahead in the company.
He probably thinks he’s better than others and always has to be the star at every opportunity.
Are we talking about a narcissist here? We think so.
Narcissists always put their own needs before the needs of others.
Worst of all, they can be very toxic to others.
You try to be understanding, but it’s hard.
The problem is not that he forgot to buy you a birthday present or forgot about your anniversary.
The problem is that he doesn’t respect your effort and work and doesn’t want to help you.
He believes that his work comes first and that he does not have to do housework or look after the children.
That’s your job, according to him.
He does “serious work” and expects that all “minor jobs” are always done.
This means that the house is neat, the children are fed, the homework is done, and he is greeted like a king when he comes home from work.
According to him, you are a housewife, and being a stay-at-home mum is easy.
He might even call you lazy if something isn’t perfect or because you’re not doing an extraordinary fantastic job like him.
As for the kids, you wonder if your husband even likes being a dad.
3. Your Husband Does a Demanding Job
He is not a workaholic and a narcissist.
Your husband is not burdened by his career and tries to help you as much as he can, although often he can almost not at all because he is too tired after work and goes to sleep.
This man works hard for a better future for his family.
It doesn’t matter that maybe his current job makes him depressed.
He knows he can’t just quit and do nothing while the whole family depends on him.
Your financial situation may be insufficient, or you have big plans such as moving, buying a new house, etc.
There are always usual living expenses, loans, and future college funds for the kids.
Money doesn’t fall from the sky, he knows that, and that’s why he works so hard.
Some jobs require much greater physical and mental effort.
There are also double shifts and night shifts.
Establishing a life routine outside of work in such a system is impossible.
We must mention the jobs that do not seem too hard initially, but they really know how to be.
For example, office jobs or jobs from home are sometimes considered more accessible because they don’t require physical work.
It may not be physical work, but there are deadlines, bad colleagues, a lack of motivation, and unethical bosses…
Nothing is easy in life, and every job should be respected.
What to Do When Your Husband is Always Tired From Work? 6 Tips
You think it’s wrong that your husband neglects you because of work, or you feel sad because your husband works so much.
Here’s what you should do:
1. Recognize The Difference Between a Workaholic Narcissist and a Hard-working Man
Don’t let a man who works hard for his family be accused of being a workaholic and a narcissist.
Take a good look at your financial situation. Is there a need for your husband to work so much?
If he has to do that much, don’t accuse him; instead, support him.
However, if your husband is narcissistic, you have a different problem.
Here are some tips that can help you with a narcissistic husband:
- Stand up for yourself, and don’t let yourself be manipulated.
- Recognize what triggers your husband’s selfish behavior.
- Instead of yelling at him, tell him what bothers you and how his behavior hurts you.
- Establish clear boundaries, and ask your husband to respect them.
- Work on your self-confidence.
2. Tell Your Husband How You Feel
Of course, don’t shout and let the conversation become an argument.
Tell him that you think he is neglecting his family because he works too much.
You feel neglected as both a woman and a wife, and you would love it if he could find a way to spend more time with you.
3. Listen to Him About How He Feels
This is also very important.
Any man who loves his family would prefer to spend time with them instead of being constantly at work.
Maybe your husband is having a hard time at work.
He doesn’t like coming home late and going straight to bed, but that’s the current situation.
Listen to him about everything that bothers him at work, don’t judge, and support him.
4. Don’t Overwhelm Him With Chores
We know you need help with the house and the kids, but if your husband is already working so much that he doesn’t have time for anything, don’t create additional stress.
His days off are probably rare, do not overload him with activities in advance.
However, if your husband is the type who has a to-do schedule and reminders on his phone, then you need to announce something to him in advance.
That way, he’ll keep that in mind and won’t be suddenly shaken when you mention that you must visit your parents exactly when he has the day off.
5. Point Out to Him That His Excessive Work is Affecting His Health
Your husband is probably in such a work mindset that he doesn’t even notice that so much work is damaging his physical and mental health.
So try to make it easier for him by not nagging him because he works too much, but prepare a healthy meal and watch his favorite movie after work to relax.
It doesn’t matter that he fell asleep and snored in the middle of the movie.
What matters is that he relaxed after working hard at work.
6. Work Together to Change The Current Situation
You have both realized that the husband needs to spend more time at home and that time should not be him just sleeping.
You also realize that your husband’s current job is making him unhappy.
Wouldn’t it be that wrong if he changed jobs?
We know you’re probably thinking about finances, but it’s not all about material things.
He can certainly find a job where he might earn less but have more time for his family.
It’s a smart move, even if it means giving up some current privileges.
In The End
“No amount of money and success can take the place of time spent with the family.”
The situation may be such that your husband has to work too much.
Remember to support him instead of putting him down, and try to make a joint effort to change the current situation.
Family happiness is more important than any job.