Skip to Content

Why Does My Husband Act As He Hates Me? 8 Obvious Signs

It is known that many great loves sometimes end in hatred.

Love and hate, as two opposites, sometimes know how to intertwine and confuse us regarding our emotions.

You feel the same way about your husband. For some time now, you feel like he no longer loves you or even hates you.

Your loving husband hates you? How is that possible?

Your husband acts as if he hates you because he doesn’t feel comfortable in the marriage anymore. It can be related to your behavior towards him, for example, if he thinks you don’t respect him enough, or it can be connected to his inner insecurities.

couple arguing

In any case, your marriage is on red alert, and something needs to be done.

In this article, we will address the following questions:

  • What are the reasons why your husband hates you?
  • What are the signs that he doesn’t love you?
  • How do you get your husband to stop hating you and love you again?

With this systematic approach, we will consider your situation from all angles and help you figure out your next step.

What Are The Reasons Why Your Husband Hates You?

Hate is a strong emotion. Sometimes, it can seem that someone hates us just because they don’t treat us the same way. Especially if it’s someone, we expect to love us, like your husband, of course.

The reasons why your husband hates you can be divided into two main ones: because of something you did or some of his problems. Let’s explain better:

1. Your Husband Hates You Because of Your Acts

This is about actions where you did or didn’t do something, and it bothers him immensely. In any case, it’s your fault here. These can be:

  • You Don’t Respect Your Husband Enough

As in any other relationship, marriage is all about respect.

Your husband can be highly resentful if he thinks you don’t respect him enough.

How does your husband perceive this disrespect? If you don’t respect him enough for the effort he puts into your marriage, it will surely be something that will bother him. No one likes to have their efforts minimized.

A lack of support for personal and shared goals in marriage can also be considered disrespectful.

Disrespect is also when you behave rudely towards your husband or embarrass him publicly in front of your friends.

  • You Constantly Criticize Your Husband

No one likes constant criticism that makes them feel like a little kid being criticized by their parents.

Do you act like a mother to your husband?

We know that those socks on the floor annoy you or when he doesn’t make the bed in the morning.

However, these criticisms can grow more and more, so much so that they threaten your husband’s self-confidence.

You want to re-educate him, but he is not your child but an adult with whom you must interact in an adult manner.

  • You Have Been Withholding Intimacy From Your Husband

All marriages go through phases of less desire for intimacy. Is this an ongoing thing in your marriage? And the more important question is, are you always the one who doesn’t want action in bed?

In addition to the most common excuse that you have a headache, you have a whole list of excuses ready.

Intimacy is essential in a marriage, and when you consistently deny it to your husband, he will feel unloved and unwanted and begin to have negative emotions toward you.

2. You Didn’t Contribute to Your Husband Hating You

The opposite of the previous reason, in this case, none of your actions contributed to this situation. We are not even saying that the reasons mentioned above are adequate for your husband to start hating you, but they often can lead to that.

Here we are talking about situations where you absolutely did not contribute anything to your husband changing his attitude towards you.

Most of the time, all the reasons boil down to the fact that your husband is no longer happy in marriage with you, and he shows his impatience with you.

Unfortunately, even if you do everything right, sometimes your partner doesn’t love you anymore. That’s sad, we know.

This may be fueled by some of your husband’s dissatisfactions.

Let’s say he’s jealous of your success, and he’s not doing very well in his career. You must have noticed that it bothers him a lot that you keep talking about work.

He may feel that marriage limits him and would be much happier not being married.

Then again, there may have been significant differences in life priorities between you two. Many things have changed; you don’t want the same things and don’t look at life the same way anymore. You may not want to see it because you still love your husband, but all these things bother him immensely.

We also leave the possibility of a potential affair. Maybe you are already suspicious about it because you noticed that your husband stays longer at work and hides his phone from you in a panic.

Whatever it is about these things, know that it is not your fault that your husband stopped loving you.

8 Potential Signs Your Husband Secretly Hates You

Again, we must emphasize that hate means different things to other people. Although these signs do not necessarily mean that your husband hates you, they indicate something is wrong in your relationship.

Those signs are:

1. He Doesn’t Talk to You Anymore

Have you noticed that your husband avoids talking to you?

Even if you talk, it’s a short conversation. You feel more like roommates than spouses.

You used to talk for hours about everything, and now he doesn’t even ask you how your day was.

2. He’s Constantly Arguing With You

What’s worse than an awkward silence? The only thing worse is the constant arguments about everything.

You feel like your husband is just waiting for a reason to start criticizing you, and he always finds it.

It has already become impossible to talk to him without getting angry.

He always finds some way to complain about something, for example, how you don’t do enough around the house.

3. He Doesn’t Put Effort Into The Relationship

We all know that men can change when they get married and become a little lazy. But your husband took it to the next level.

He doesn’t really care if you find him physically attractive. It even seems to you that your husband always prepares too much when he goes somewhere, and when he is with you, he doesn’t even want to get a shower.

We won’t talk about romance because you can’t remember the last time he took you on a date. Date night? More like he watches sports, and you do whatever you want; he doesn’t care.

4. He Doesn’t Care About Your Feelings

How many times have you felt hurt because you didn’t have the support of your husband?

Your husband distanced himself when you needed words of comfort because you were experiencing difficult moments. 

He might even have accused you of over-dramatizing.

5. He Doesn’t Care About The Important Days In Your Relationship

Ok, every man forgets anniversaries sometimes, but he doesn’t care about any holiday even though he knows you care about it.

present for Christmas? A romantic dinner for Valentine’s Day? None of these are for you because your husband has completely stopped giving you gifts in marriage.

And what may hurt you is that he misses or ruins any special occasion related only to you, for example, your promotion at work. He did not even appear at the celebration. Is it that jealousy of your success?

6. He Doesn’t Show You Affection

Because of your husband, you don’t feel desirable and confident about your appearance, quite the opposite, actually.

He constantly comments on how you dress and says you don’t dress attractively enough.

Let’s not talk about his mean comments about those few extra pounds you desperately want to lose.

7. Your Husband Shows Affection To Another Woman

Have you noticed that your husband has been flirting with another woman? You have noticed that he hides his phone all the time.  

The fact that your husband likes all her pictures and leaves comments hurts you tremendously.

He doesn’t even hesitate to comment on how beautiful she is.

This huge red flag could easily be the end of your marriage.

8. He Is Emotionally and/or Physically Abusive

This is no longer a red flag but a clear sign that you should get out of such a marriage.

No one has the right to abuse you in any way, and your fundamental right is to feel safe.

How Do You Get Your Husband to Stop Hating You and Love You Again?

You have a big task ahead of you, and you can succeed if you take the following steps:

1. Be Honest With Yourself

It’s time for honesty.

Have any of your actions contributed to your husband’s hating you? Let’s say you don’t respect him or criticize him constantly?

If that’s the case, it’s time to work on changing that because you can see for yourself what those actions have led to.

2. Be Honest About Your Husband

After re-evaluating your acts, it’s also time to review your husband’s actions.

Did you deserve such hatred from him? If you’re not, and we hope you’re not, it’s not right that you’re getting such treatment.

It may be time to take off your rose-colored glasses and see your husband with more honest eyes.

3. Tell Your Husband How You Feel

Yes, he must know that you feel unloved. With all his behavior and how he’s hurting you, it’s time to tell him everything. Also, clarify your needs.

If any love is left in him for you, it can shake him and bring him back on the right track.

But if even after such words, he still does not care about you, the situation is even more evident.

In Conclusion

Let’s suppose that it is possible to change your husband’s attitude and that this is only the current circumstances of your marriage. 

In that case, you must address the problem, start spending more time together, and learn how to constructively argue and talk about how to salvage your marriage.

But it’s time to say goodbye if his hatred for you is so bad that you feel he won’t change.

Sometimes we can’t make someone love us again, and we must let them go.

You deserve a happy and fulfilled marriage, and no one has the right to take that away from you.

Leave a comment