One thing is certain: marriage is entirely different from dating.
When you think back to when you and your husband were dating, that time seems carefree and easy.
Your husband was just like that, relaxed and romantic.
It seemed to you that he would remove the stars from the sky if only you asked him to.
Fast forward a few years, and now you have a lazy person next to you who won’t even take out the trash.
You can’t help but wonder why men change so much when they get married?
The answer is that they no longer need to impress women, so they relax in every way. Another main reason is that they are not mature enough for everything marriage entails.
You want to know if this change in your husband is permanent and how to deal with it.
This article can help you better understand why your partner changed so much when you married.
My Husband Changed After We Got Married? 4 Probable Reasons
Everyone has their own story, but we can single out some universal reasons why men change when they get married.
And those are:
1. They Don’t Have to Try Hard to Impress Women
When you were in a relationship, your husband did everything to please you.
The relationship with him was full of romantic gestures, and he really made you feel like the most special girl in the world.
Not to mention how handsome and beautiful he was.
He would dress up for hours for every date with you and always knock you off your feet with how good he looked.
That was all in the past, and what is the situation now?
The pinnacle of romance for your husband is lying on the couch and watching sports or movies on the weekend with you, but he doesn’t mind doing it alone, either.
And you don’t remember when he took you out on a date, not to mention the gifts.
And by gifts, we mean those most essential gifts because he didn’t buy you anything for Christmas, and Valentine’s Day is just a random day for him.
In terms of physical appearance, he turned into a walrus.
Eating, sitting in front of the TV, and playing video games, are your husband’s hobbies. No wonder he has gained so much weight.
In more extreme cases, your husband may neglect his personal hygiene a bit.
This does not necessarily mean he does not care about you. He may be too comfortable in marriage.
Statistics say that men are happier in marriage than when they are bachelors.
Maybe he got too wrapped up in that happiness.
2. They Don’t Know How to Handle New Responsibilities
While you were in a relationship, it seemed that your husband knew how to deal with responsibilities maturely, but it turned out to be the opposite in marriage.
Marriage is a responsible institution.
All those new responsibilities can be overwhelming, especially for someone emotionally immature.
Is your husband immature?
An emotionally immature partner is stuck in a certain mindset and does not want to progress further and develop.
It isn’t easy to live with such a partner and plan anything because he is too carefree and doesn’t think about the future.
There must be an organization in a marriage, and it is hard to organize anything with someone who does not know how to act responsibly.
That’s why it irritates you so much that your husband never plans anything.
Then again, it is also possible that he is a bit spoiled by his parents.
Your husband entered the marriage with the expectation that everything would be his way.
Instead of working to solve the problem when you fight, he just walks away because he doesn’t want to deal with it.
3. Having a Baby Has Changed Your Husband
If the baby arrives soon after the wedding, your husband may seem like a completely different person to you.
It’s not uncommon for men to change when a baby comes into your world.
Think about it; it is a big change.
The changes that women go through are mentioned everywhere, but the changes that men go through during that period are much less mentioned.
Women’s postpartum depression is often mentioned, but the fact that 1 in 10 fathers can also suffer from postpartum depression is ignored.
Having a child is a significant step in any marriage, and if the husband is immature (as we mentioned in the previous section), changes in his behavior are possible.
The baby now becomes the center of the world, there will be many sleepless nights, and your routine will be turned upside down.
On top of all that, an immature husband may think that becoming a father has ruined his life.
4. Your Husband Is Going Through A Phase
You know how teenagers are said to go through phases, and your husband may be going through one too.
Some would call that a midlife crisis.
Although this phase is associated with older men, it can also happen to younger men who are still in their thirties.
However, it may be much more complicated, and your husband doubts whether marriage is even for him.
Maybe marriage limits him, and he is simply not for that kind of life.
It can also be influenced by general dissatisfaction with life.
Your disagreements can lead to hard realizations that you may not be as into each other as you thought.
Now you are only together because of children, habit, or financial reasons, but things are far from how they should be in marriage.
Because of all this, it is clear that your husband has changed.
What Should You Do Because Your Husband Has Changed in Marriage?
We will give you answers to specific questions about your husband.
Has Your Husband Put On a Lot of Weight And Neglected His Physical Appearance in Marriage?
This may sound superficial because you don’t want a supermodel by your side, but your husband is becoming seriously overweight.
Consider how your husband lives, what kind of work he does, and whether he has a lot of stress.
Also, an interesting fact is that men gain extra weight when a woman is pregnant and when a child is born.
It’s not just that your husband eats more then. It’s also a hormonal change, according to studies.
Hmm, looks like dad bod isn’t just made of beer and burgers.
Again, excess weight can lead to health problems, and it is clear that you are worried about your husband.
So, suggest to him how to lose those extra pounds.
Offer him a healthy diet, as well as some exercise program, in which you can support him.
And as for his lack of hygiene, tell him how you will kiss and hug him much more if he showers more regularly.
Has Your Husband Become Less Romantic in Marriage?
Everything cannot be as it was when you were dating because married life brings some new obligations and responsibilities.
But that’s no excuse for your husband not being as romantic as he used to be.
Make it clear to him that you still want that wonderful romantic guy who did everything to impress you.
Don’t be too demanding.
Holding hands, date nights, and small signs of attention are all you need to keep the romance alive in your marriage.
And it is crucial to maintain that flame of romance in the marriage.
Is Your Husband Suddenly Acting Immature And Irresponsible?
Let us immediately emphasize that you are not obliged to suffer if his behavior endangers you psychologically and mentally.
Emotionally mature people learn from their mistakes, and so should you from your arguments.
Yes, it is possible to solve problems by introducing many tiny changes in the marriage that can work wonders.
And most importantly, it is possible to schedule household chores. You don’t always have to do everything.
If your husband is going through a rough patch, it’s up to you to try to help him through it.
You know how you said in the vows, for better or worse.
What if Nothing Works?
The first thing that comes to mind is marriage therapy.
Although it is often effective, sometimes it is not enough either.
When the change in your husband is so significant that the marriage can no longer work, it may be time to say goodbye.
You tried, but that is no longer the same man you loved, but someone you don’t know.
In Short – Changes in Marriage Are Inevitable
Yes, but only those changes that are for the better.
You can’t expect your husband to stay exactly the same as when you were dating, but that doesn’t mean he should get worse.
Marriage, like life in general, is about change and growth.
But you should go through these changes together, making you happier and with even more love and understanding for each other.
“A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love”– Pearl Buck