Every time you argue with your husband, the same scenario plays out.
You try to communicate the problem that is bothering you but to no avail.
You have the best intentions and want to solve the problem through joint efforts.
However, after a few minutes of discussion, your husband leaves the room.
Your dissatisfaction grows, and the problem remains unsolved.
Therefore, neglecting the problem can seriously threaten the survival of your marriage.
You must be frustrated and wondering, “Why does my husband always go away when we argue?” Your husband may leave the room during an argument because he can react emotionally and doesn’t want you to see him cry.
Misunderstandings can lead to severe problems in a marriage.
Anger and resentment don’t subside but instead increase over time.
Dissatisfaction deepens, and your marriage inevitably suffers.
Many men don’t like to share things about themselves.
It would be best if you committed to solving this problem as soon as possible.
This article will reveal five reasons why your husband leaves you when you argue.
Also, you will discover tips on how to solve this problem.
Why is Arguing Useful?
People who claim they haven’t got marriage problems probably never got married.
It is perfectly normal to have different opinions.
Having different opinions doesn’t mean you’re not compatible.
The first association with arguing evokes negative emotions and anxiety.
However, the discussion is necessary for the satisfaction of both marriage partners.
If we never verbalize our needs, we cannot be happy in marriage.
Explain to him how important it is to be honest in the conversation.
A healthy discussion involves being willing to state your point of view and listening to the other person’s.
The ideal discussion ending for you may represent your “victory.”
You feel good when you prove your opinion is correct.
However, the only good outcome of an argument is a joint solution to disagreements.
That is why both partners must learn how to argue constructively.
Here are some reasons why your husband runs away when you argue.
1. He Has No Frustration Tolerance
Frustration means we are stopped in our efforts to achieve what we want.
Striving to eliminate frustration is a healthy response to cases.
It activates us to find a solution to a problem.
An unhealthy response to discomfort is a low frustration tolerance.
That means the person activates at the initial signs of discomfort, boredom, or frustration.
It often requires that things in life always happen straightforwardly.
We want to get married without a single argument, but such a relationship only exists in fairy tales.
Explain to him that he must learn to endure the discomfort.
When the first bout of discomfort passes, it will be easier for him to remain in the discussion until the end.
2. He Doesn’t Want You to See Him Cry
Tears are ok and not a sign of weakness.
They are our body’s natural reaction to sadness or physical pain.
The hormone oxytocin is released during crying and the heart rate decreases.
It is true that crying relieves stress and reduces physical pain.
So crying can be both physiologically and psychologically healing.
Why Do Men Cry Less Than Women?
When sadness is suppressed, it can lead to the development of depression or anxiety.
However, the education rules are based on one unspoken rule.
It reads, “Men never cry.”
Therefore, your husband may suddenly leave the room during the discussion because he doesn’t want you to see him crying.
3. He Needs Better Arguments.
For a discussion to be meaningful, both sides must have good arguments.
Only in that way will your discussion be meaningful and result in a solution to your problem.
However, if your husband does not have a solid argument, it would indicate that you are still correct.
Things get even worse when we find out your husband is talking behind your back.
Without arguments, your husband doesn’t want to admit that he is wrong and leaves the room.
In this way, he avoids the possibility that he will not emerge victorious from the fight.
4. Some Topics Are Not Worth Discussing
Some problems aren’t worth arguing.
Choose which causes are worth your time and which are not.
However, your husband should tell you when some problem isn’t worth arguing about instead of running away.
5. Fear of Making a Mistake
Everyone has the right to make mistakes, even your husband!
Don’t aim for the ideal relationship and marriage.
You learn through mistakes, and they are inevitable in every relationship.
If your reactions to his mistakes are mild, he may feel less threatened.
That way, you will establish better and more honest communication.
Your husband will not run away whenever you argue.
How to Deal With Him?
We explain your husband’s mindset.
But what to do when your husband storms out?
In the rest of the article, we will give you five tips and explain how to deal with him.
1. Try to Avoid “Monologues”
While we are arguing, we are under the influence of strong emotions.
An avalanche of words happens from us, and it is impossible to stop.
Due to the desire to solve the problem as soon as possible, we often interrupt our partner.
From your husband’s view, you will look like you are arguing with yourself.
That way, you will certainly not reach a solution or compromise.
Pay attention to how you express your dissatisfaction and avoid monologues.
2. Be Empathetic
Empathy is the ability to understand emotionally what another person is experiencing.
That is, you understand what others are experiencing as if it were happening to you.
Lacking empathy is associated with intolerance, selfishness, and stereotyping.
Tim Minchin believes, “Empathy is intuitive, but is also something you can work on intellectually.”
Some people have great natural empathy and can sense your feelings.
However, it isn’t natural and accessible for all people to be compassionate.
Fortunately, empathy is a skill that everyone can learn and develop.
The next time an argument comes up, try to see things from his point of view.
3. Don’t Insult Your Husband
The first rule of constructive discussion is that you must not insult him.
Please, forget about swear words.
Instead of belittling your husband, criticize his actions.
We will give you a simple example.
Let’s imagine that your husband doesn’t want to get a job.
Instead of telling your partner, “You are lazy and incompetent!”
Try to criticize him this way: “I don’t think it’s right that you don’t do anything and don’t want to get a job. It puts a lot of strain on me financially.”
Admit it sounds much better this way.
4. Being Louder Doesn’t Mean You’re Right.
If you are in a situation where you lose control of your behavior and start shouting, try to calm down.
Some people feel better after mutual yelling and screaming at their partner.
This aggressive interruption of communication will only make both partners feel bad in the long run.
5. Rethink Your Attitudes
Sometimes happens that you realize your husband was right.
It is not easy to admit that we are wrong.
However, the ability to admit we are wrong is a characteristic of self-aware people.
Those people also have good self-esteem.
Allow yourself a mistake, and don’t experience it as your weakness.
Learn to Argue Constructively
The next time you ask, “Why my husband always goes away when we argue?” don’t despair.
Please make sure to present this problem to him before an argument.
Be calm, choose a convenient moment and honestly tell him how you feel.
Express your concern and let him know that you feel worried about your marriage’s survival.
Tell him it is perfectly normal to have different opinions.
Having different opinions doesn’t mean you’re not compatible.
Also, it would be desirable for you to reconsider your behavior and how you argue.
Please, respect your partner and never insult him.
Be compassionate and see things from his point of view.
We hope you find this article helpful and remember the tips you’ve read.
Remember that constructive discussion is undoubtedly a recipe for a happy marriage!