For our relationships with others to grow and be more substantial, we need to share things about ourselves. That is just how things go.
You know that, but it’s still hard for you to share things about yourself.
Why don’t you like to share things about yourself? Because you’re not happy with your life, you’re afraid of getting hurt, or you’re not in the right group of people.
You can limit yourself because it is difficult for you to share things about yourself.
We respect your privacy, but if it is so difficult for you to open up in front of others can even distance you from quality people in your life.
Imagine if you get into a relationship with someone amazing. That relationship can suffer if you’re too closed off and secretive.
Overcoming the fear of sharing is complex, mainly if it is based on deep beliefs.
This article aims to discover why it is so hard for you to open up to others.
As well as to offer some solutions that will make it easier to share things about yourself.
5 Possible Reasons Why You Don’t Want to Share Anything About Yourself
We are all different, and everyone has their own story.
In addition, everyone has a different personality.
While some people love sharing things about themselves, others are extremely private.
Maybe they have a hard time opening up to others.
Here are some universal reasons why it’s hard to share things about yourself with others. We’re sure you’ll find yourself in some of them.
1. You Have Bad Experiences From The Past
You used to share things about yourself with others, which didn’t end well.
As a result, you were left hurt and disappointed. You probably told yourself that you would never open up to people so quickly again.
An ex-friend, ex-partner, or someone other who responded to your honest words by hurting you.
Perhaps the way of upbringing itself played a role.
Narcissistic and overcontrolling parents in front of whom you could never be yourself and couldn’t wait to move away from them.
We get it. A lesson lived is a lesson learned.
But does that mean that because of previous bad experiences, you should completely close yourself off from all new people?
2. You Don’t Want to Lose Control
When we share things about ourselves with someone, we also give them some form of control.
What kind of control, you ask?
Letting people know about your life allows them to get too close to you. Once you let others in, they have more access to you and remove your feeling of absolute power.
You know how they say that pieces of information are power?
The overshared information in front of the wrong person can hit your head like a boomerang. You never know.
You are afraid that some vital information you share with someone may be misused.
You are probably a very private person who doesn’t like to give too much information about yourself.
It even annoys you when you do some online shopping and you have to give too much information about yourself as if that’s all that matters.
You even deliberately choose to say something different than it is to avoid saying too much.
Not saying everything is not the same as lying, according to you.
You have crafted your life carefully and with a lot of effort. You don’t want the wrong person with information about you to ruin everything for you now.
3. You Are Afraid of Being Judged
A predominant reason why we don’t want to share things about ourselves.
People are different, and not everyone has the same perception of everything.
It would be best if you always were yourself, but sometimes it’s incredibly tiring to get into arguments with other people.
Many are very judgmental and like to look more into other people’s lives than into their own.
If your way of life and thinking differs from the majority, it is entirely understandable that you don’t want to share things with others.
You won’t be lynched by an angry mob, but you will definitely not be comfortable in that atmosphere.
This is especially true if you live in a small town where everyone knows everyone.
You probably can’t wait to move to a bigger city where you’ll feel free from that mentality.
This fear of judgment goes so far that you are afraid that you will lose something if you share too much about yourself.
Let’s say you are afraid you will lose friends who will not understand you.
Or you are afraid of getting fired from your job.
We all wear social masks every day to some extent, but you also have to have the right people in your life to whom you can open up completely and won’t be judged for who you are.
4. You Are Not Happy With Yourself
You would like to share, but what?
All the people around you are fulfilled. They have amazing jobs, a career, a family.
You, on the other hand, wonder where your life went wrong.
You feel your life is bad and wonder if you will ever be happy.
All this raises insecurities and makes it difficult for you to share things about your life with others.
You’re afraid you’ll embarrass yourself, and you’re not good enough compared to all those cool, successful people whose opinions you fear.
You often lie about yourself to appear more successful than you are.
It’s better than the truth about you.
It can also lead to compulsive lying to present yourself as better.
People can no longer know when you are telling a lie or telling the truth.
5. You Think Others are Boring
This is the exact opposite of the previous one.
It can be expressed in two ways:
You think you are better than others
Why would you share things about yourself with others when you think they are not on your level?
You suffer from a superiority complex and think you are better than others.
These are usually those who are too focused on material things.
Soon no one will even want to listen to things about you if you keep being like that to everyone.
You find other people uninteresting
In this case, you don’t necessarily think you are better than everyone else but are not interested in other people’s topics.
They only want to talk about their relationships, boring jobs, and mean bosses.
It’s all so tiresome to you.
When you are invited to some social gatherings, you probably zone out and think to yourself, “Why did I even agree to come here?”
If you are in such a mood, it will certainly not occur to you to share things about yourself.
How to Overcome The Fear of Sharing Things About Yourself?
We know that you know that oversharing is not good at all.
But since the opposite is the case with you, know that not sharing about yourself in front of others can negatively affect you.
Here’s how to change that:
Comprehend What Prevents You From Talking About Yourself
Whatever the reason you don’t want to share things about yourself, you need to identify it.
Once you know that, you can start working on changing it.
- leave the past in the past;
- don’t worry about other people’s opinions;
- work on things you want to change about yourself;
- If the people you surround bother you, change them or try to understand them better.
Understand Why it is Important to Share Things With Others
No matter how much you’ve been hurt in the past or if you’re just someone who has a hard time opening up to others, you have to understand that you can’t always do it that way.
People won’t tolerate it forever, and all important relationships are a two-way street.
Let’s say your partner wants to get to know you more deeply, and you persistently avoid it.
You may seem like an interesting, mysterious person, but no one will keep up with that behavior forever.
Important people around you may feel offended because you will not share things about yourself.
People want to get as much as they give. That’s what relationships are based on.
And if you want to have a functional relationship, you must learn to share things about yourself.
It’s up to you to identify which people are worth sharing freely with them about yourself.
With This In Mind,
The fact that you don’t like sharing things about yourself in front of others is entirely normal.
And you don’t need to be someone who goes around bragging about himself.
But know that it can also have consequences for bonds with special people in your life.
These people make you come out of your shell and give them a chance to get to know you better.
Who knows, maybe they will change your life for the better.