Happiness is like some holy grail that we all chase all our lives.
The concept of happiness is something that everyone discusses, and everyone will give you a different answer to what happiness is for them.
There are some general definitions of happiness, but if we get more specific, we will see that happiness differs from person to person.
Even among ourselves, happiness differs in different ages and situations.
You get that, but you feel like you’ll never be happy.
Life throws various challenges in front of us and often has no mercy towards us.
Disappointments, losses, failures… All of that can steal the smile from your face and make you look sad both inside and out.
Have you ever been happy at all? Maybe you think you’ve used up your lucky ticket and now you’re stuck being unhappy for the rest of your life.
We have news for you, you can be happy again!
One cannot spend the right to happiness, and no matter how dark and gloomy everything is, it is possible to laugh again, but that sincere laugh, from ear to ear.
There are some universal reasons why you are unhappy; let’s list them and try to find a solution.
You’re Stuck in The Past
The past, the past, the past… How often have you heard that you should not stay in the past but focus on the future?
Obviously not enough when you keep coming back to the past.
You come back for two reasons:
1. Your Past Was Awesome
We often look at the past with rose-colored glasses, but what if it was really that good.
It’s great because you had the chance to have all those beautiful moments.
The only problem is that now you think you were happier when you were younger.
2. You Carry Bad Memories From The Past
The heavy burden of the weight of the past prevents you from being happy now.
Whether you’re worrying about something you did in the past or returning to that one mistake that’s making you unhappy now, you’ll never be happy if you don’t get out of that cycle.
You Think That You Are Left Behind in Life
Do you feel you are running late in the marathon of life?
By whose standards, yours or someone else’s?
You set goals for yourself to finish university, find a job, and get married.
Do you want a perfect suburban family with two kids, a dog, and a perfect lawn before you turn 30?
You have the exact time in advance for everything you need to do. If that doesn’t happen, then you’re totally off track.
Things didn’t happen that way, and now you think they’ve expired.
Happiness runs away from emotions like jealousy and envy.
Watching someone jealously who achieved what you wanted in that perfect time is just a recipe for unhappiness.
You Have Experienced Too Much Disappointment
Do you remember your first disappointment? It was probably when your parents told you that you could not just eat cookies for lunch.
You know that life is full of disappointments, but it’s too much for you.
Is it a job you hate that makes you depressed, and you want to do something completely different in life?
Are you still scarred from breaking up with the one you thought was the love of your life?
We believe all of this is painful, but it will never stop unless you do something about it.
You Live According to Other People’s Expectations
As hard as it is to shake off other influences on us, living entirely according to other people’s expectations is a recipe for failure.
We can go deep into philosophy and ask ourselves who we really are when we get rid of all the influences our environment has had on us?
The influences of parents, friends, and the whole environment we live in?
It’s all normal, but what if you’re unhappy with the perfect equation created for you by others.
If you feel like you can’t be yourself in front of anyone, that’s a clear sign that it’s not the right place for you.
Everyone can admire and pat you on the back, but if you’re not happy deep inside, it’s all for nothing.
Instead of chasing your dreams, you live by the standards others have imposed on you.
Is that comfort zone really that comfortable?
Maybe it’s not when you are constantly tormented by that feeling of what new horizons are hiding when you step out of it.
Your Happiness Depends on Others
You always put others before yourself.
Maybe you’re really kind. Or you have played too much into the victim role or suffer from a martyr complex.
It is always important to you that everyone is happier than you, especially the closest people.
It’s nice to be a kind person, but don’t let yourself always put other people’s happiness before your own, no matter how important it is to you.
You’re Waiting For Perfection
You are not happy because that magical moment of happiness, like from some Disney fairy tale, has not happened yet.
You are waiting for that perfect person who will change your life or for that job that will finally provide enough money to buy that beautiful car.
It’s nice to have expectations and hopes, but don’t let your life be doom and gloom until that perfect moment you hope for so much.
If you focus too much on that perfect moment, you might not notice the many good ones happening right before you.
You are Addicted to Negativity
It is easy to become a negative person because hate is cool today.
You can become a negative person to the extent that you hate this whole world.
We understand that to some extent because this world, unfortunately, often gives us reasons to hate it.
One gets the impression that it is never easier to hate someone.
It is easy to spread the seeds of hate today.
You can insult whoever you want on social networks and thus get slightly satisfied because you vent your personal frustrations on someone. And deep down, to be unhappy.
If the people you hang out with and spend the most time with are negative, don’t expect yourself to be any different.
How to Be Happier?
The journey to happiness is independent for each of us, but just as we explained some universal reasons why someone is unhappy, we will also suggest some general ways to be happy.
1. Start living in the present
“If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.”
— Lao Tzu
Only if you live in the present will you be truly happy.
Allow yourself to enjoy the moment and not constantly dig into the past to hold on to it or worry about what the future holds.
2. Get rid of negative beliefs
Replace negative beliefs with positive affirmations.
The worst negative belief is that you don’t deserve to be happy.
Then there are opinions that you don’t know how or can’t be happy.
As long as you think so, it will be so.
Clear your mind, throw out negative beliefs, and welcome positive ones.
When you are positive, you experience everything differently; even small things make you happy, like the sense of the sun on your skin or the smell of rain.
3. Practice gratitude
If you concentrate a little, you will see that you have many reasons to be grateful.
First of all, being able to read this article is something, isn’t it?
You can also try simple gratitude exercises, which can change your life.
Before going to sleep, write one thing that made you happy during the day.
Or, in the morning, when you wake up, think about the things you are grateful for.
Maybe it sounds meaningless in your current state of mind, but try it for at least 10 days, and you will see the difference.
4. Don’t compare yourself to others
Unless you are a professional runner, there is no race in life.
Just because someone else is in a place you’re not doesn’t mean you should feel bad.
You go through life at your own pace, and that’s all that matters.
5. Stop living up to other people’s expectations
Life is too short to live by someone else’s standards.
You can never make everyone happy; accept that.
And if your happiness has to suffer for someone else to be happy, that’s not the right thing to do.
As long as you don’t hurt others, live life by your own rules, and don’t care about other people’s opinions.
Remember this:
“You will be too much for some people. These are not your people.”
6. Chase your dreams
No matter how impossible something seems to you, there is always a possibility.
If you didn’t get into the college you wanted, try again, and try again.
Just don’t let yourself get swallowed up by your comfort zone.
In our comfort zone, we ignore our dreams due to supposed security.
7. Work on yourself
Working on yourself in any way is always good and provides various benefits.
You will always be closer to achieving your goals by working on yourself.
Enjoy knowing that you are working on yourself and that you are better in some segment every day.
Concentrate on the process and not on the end goal.
8. Implement healthy habits
Healthy habits are always welcome in everyone’s life.
Healthy food, regular sleep, and exercise are all great dopamine producers that will make you happy.
These habits may be hard to start, but once you get used to them, they become a part of your life.
9. Give a chance to the spiritual instead of the material
We do not get into whether you are religious or what religion you belong to.
Concentrating on the material throws you constantly thinking about the things you don’t have.
It turns you into a consumerist who feeds his inner hole with things, most of which he doesn’t need.
Instead of the material, try to think about the spiritual, the essence of things, and how something will improve your personality, not just be a beautiful thing that collects dust.
10. Change the environment that makes you unhappy
“You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with”.
If you spend most of your time with unhappy and negative people, you will be like that too.
When you meet positive and happy people, you will see that happiness can be contagious, not only hatred.
To Summarize,
“Happiness depends on ourselves.”
— Aristotle
Happiness is a state of mind.
Your path to happiness is up to you. We just gave you some guidelines that can help you.
Good luck with your quest!