The most underrated crime in human history is bad parenting, but some people are just not parent material.
Parenthood is a beautiful thing, and it seems that somehow by default, everyone is born for it.
We all have that image of a perfect family in our heads, where the parents are superheroes, but that’s not always the case.
Growing up with toxic parents can leave many consequences on the children that will follow them throughout their life.
What are the actual reasons that your parents don’t care about you? Maybe it doesn’t mean they don’t love you, but they are emotionally immature to show it, or they have problems that are always more important than you.
Let’s dive into the problem and try to realize why your parents don’t care about you.
- Their parents didn’t take care of them either
- They are not satisfied with their life
- They have neglected you as a child and ignore you now too
- They are narcissistic and immature
- They show no interest in your life
- They were never satisfied with you
- Forgive and forget
- Try an honest conversation
- Try to build good relationships with other people
- Work on your self-improvement
- Have realistic expectations that your parents will change
- To wrap things up,
Their parents didn’t take care of them either
The first step in determining a problem with parents is always to look at their relationship with their parents.
It does not necessarily mean that toxic and abusive parents will always produce children who will be the same, but this example is prevalent.
Instead of leaving the lousy behavior patterns of their parents in the past, they will repeat them. If that parenting system worked for them, why wouldn’t it work for you?
They are not satisfied with their life
Dissatisfaction with their own life can be the reason why they don’t care about you.
Maybe they are tormented by past traumas, insecurities, and mental problems.
In the worst case, they may consider you guilty for not achieving their goals in life. Constantly blaming yourself for this can have terrible consequences on your self-confidence.
They have neglected you as a child and ignore you now too
Do you feel like your parents neglected you when you were a child? Now that you are grown up, you can reflect on your childhood and see things from a different perspective.
It isn’t easy to define what exactly is considered neglect. Still, some common signs are: parents neglected your basic needs, did not give you emotional support, did not respect your wishes, etc.
The fact that you are now grown up and can take care of yourself does not mean that your parents cannot still neglect you. Your needs have changed, but you still care that your parents know how to recognize them instead of ignoring them.
They are narcissistic and immature
Anyone can have a child and call themselves “a parent.” A real parent is someone who puts that child above their own selfish needs and wants.
Did you feel that there was no responsible adult in the house when you were a kid?
Maybe your parents are toxic narcissists who are not ready to subordinate their needs to the child.
Narcissists always like to feel that everything is about them. They always want to be in the center of attention. That is a little more complicated with a kid around.
They show no interest in your life
Your education? Career? Life partner? They don’t care at all.
We expect parents to always put their children before themselves. That’s why the disinterest of your parents in you can be very painful and leave severe consequences on your mental health.
They were never satisfied with you
The fact that they don’t care about you today can be related to their disappointment in you.
They have always had their expectations of what is best for you, regardless of whether you agree with them.
It started when you were a kid and continues now that you are grown up.
When you were little, they didn’t care what you wanted, and now that you’re grown up, they don’t care about you because you didn’t live up to their expectations.
Are you wondering how to position yourself in a situation where your parents don’t care about you?
Should you also not care about them, or should you try to reach out and fix the toxic relationship? Here are some tips:
Forgive and forget
The first attempt is forgiving. Maybe your parents don’t deserve to forgive them, but you deserve not to hold grudges against them because that can only hurt you.
The second attempt is forgetting. It may seem hard to forget all those bad memories, but you have to. You forget for yourself because you deserve to have the best possible life you want and not be burdened by the past.
Try an honest conversation
Try that one honest conversation, which will not turn into an argument.
Tell them how you feel, but also ask them to tell you why they are like that. Find out what’s bothering your parents. Don’t attack them; try to understand them no matter how hard that can be.
You deserve to know why they were like that towards you or are like that right now. It would be best to find out the reason for the parent’s behavior, so you can finally have closure.
Try to build good relationships with other people
If your parents don’t care about you, try to surround yourself with people who care about you. It can be friends, your significant other, or colleagues.
Everyone deserves to be surrounded by those who care about them, including you.
Work on your self-improvement
Try to be the best version of yourself. The version you want and in which you will be satisfied.
Don’t let your parents’ toxicity hold you back. You deserve the best for yourself.
If you think your parents’ neglect has had consequences on your psyche, you can also consult a psychotherapist.
Have realistic expectations that your parents will change
No matter how much you want and try to build a healthy relationship, they still don’t care. Maybe it’s time to draw a line between you and your parents.
Despite all your efforts, you’re still not getting any positive feedback from them. Maybe it’s time to stop trying. Some relationships just can’t be fixed. Either accept them as they are or give up on them.
To wrap things up,
Parents neglecting their child is painful at every moment of his life. If you think it’s worth fixing your relationship with your parents, try it! We wish you luck!
It would be best if you got hurt as little as possible in that process. Remember, every baby deserves a parent, but not every parent deserves a baby.