Skip to Content

My Wife Says She Feels Alone – 4 Potential Causes

Marriage somehow, by default, means that we never feel lonely because we have our partner by our side. However, various hardships can still happen in marriage, making us feel lonely, even in our partner’s presence.

You maybe don’t feel that way, but your wife does. She tells you she feels depressed and lonely in marriage, but her behavior also shows that.

All you have to do is ask yourself what made your wife feel lonely in marriage? Family problems, work, stress, unfulfilled expectations, and lack of support from a partner can contribute to this situation.

Lonely girl thinking about embarrassing moment

Even if it is some other reason, let’s say she is dissatisfied with her job, you can still be the cause because you are not supporting her.

It all comes down to you because you are the husband who should save your wife from feeling lonely.

In this article, we will address the following topics:

  • What causes loneliness in marriage?
  • What are the signs that a partner feels lonely?
  • How to help your wife who feels lonely in marriage?

This is enough information to help you understand your wife and how to help her.

What Causes The Loneliness in Marriage or Relationship? 4 Main Causes

Loneliness in marriage is more common than you think. According to the AARP national survey from 2018, one in three married people over age 45 report being lonely. Huge numbers, rights?

What are the reasons that cause so much loneliness in marriage:

1. Work and Family

Although they are not the same, we can combine these two causes.

Very often, too many responsibilities are thrown in front of both partners, and the number of commitments increases more and more.

Jobs are stressful, and then there are responsibilities around family, children, and home. This may sound too dramatic because everyone has these responsibilities, and they are normal, but they can really cause partners to drift apart.

The main reason is that partners in such a chaotic system of chores often do not have enough time for themselves.

The classic blame game is also possible when one partner accuses the other of not doing enough.

Let’s say you constantly blame your wife for not doing enough around the house, but you don’t see that she doesn’t have time for all her responsibilities.

This can create resentment towards you because she feels you are not validating her efforts enough.

2. Lack of Effort in Marriage

It is a well-established opinion that partners get lazy when they have been in a relationship for a long time. 

You know those funny TikTok videos where they compare in a funny way how couples behave at the beginning of a relationship and later after a few years.

Although this is somewhat normal, it can also lead to harmful consequences for the marriage. Who has changed in marriage? You or your wife? Or both?

Usually, men change more in marriage, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

Is romance long past gone in your marriage? Everything boils down to an already established routine, where you no longer listen to each other but do everything according to habit. Your wife feels that you are more roommates than marriage partners.

Of course, the factors mentioned above can also contribute to this, such as obligations and that specific routine of life that can swallow everything. Still, your wife feels lonely because she needs closeness and romance in marriage.

3. Stressful Events

Unfortunately, stressful events also happen, which can drive people apart instead of bringing them closer.

Losing a loved person, getting fired from a job, accidents, and various other difficult situations that one goes through in life.

Through situations like this, we need the support of our partners the most. Because you know, when you took your marriage vows, you said both for better and for worse.

Unfortunately, your wife feels you were not there for her during the hard times she needed it most. She had to deal with those difficult emotions alone, making her feel like she couldn’t rely on you.

4. Unrealistic Expectations

This is not how your wife envisioned marriage, but completely different.

Unfulfilled expectations often lead us into the abyss of disappointment.

Again, this is also related to how satisfied she is with her life, marriage, and you… She is generally unhappy with her life and blames you for that.

Your wife may have expected you to live somewhere else because she feels trapped in the place where you live. She also expected you to earn more and to have a better job. Maybe she’s blaming you for not having children because she wants a baby, and you always say you are not ready yet.

All these unfulfilled expectations have caused her to question her decisions and feel lonely.

Some unrealistic expectations of your wife can contribute to this, especially if they are influenced by social networks. Do you know how perfect all the couples are there? They wake up by the ocean and eat seafood every day. It’s all lovely, but it’s often far from reality.

What Are The Major Signs That Your Wife Is Lonely in Marriage?

Sometimes there is no need for your wife to tell you that she feels lonely, but for her behavior to clearly indicate that. Signs that your wife feels alone are:

Your Wife is Emotionally Distant

It often seems to you that she is too emotionally closed and distant towards you. She doesn’t want to be vulnerable in front of you. It’s like she locked her emotions in a shell, and you can’t break through that armor.

That wall she built didn’t come up all at once. It is a consequence of her accumulated disappointments, which you also contributed.

You Don’t Talk Enough to Each Other

You noticed that you and your wife communicate very little during the day. And when you do talk, it’s all obligatory conversations that end quickly. There is no room for deep, meaningful communication in such discussions.

You can’t remember the last time you talked about how your day was, even though you always did that before.

Your Wife is Avoiding You

Everyone needs alone time sometimes, and that’s totally okay. However, you noticed that your wife does not want to spend time with you and avoids you.

She’s lonely but doesn’t want to spend time with you; how does that make sense? That’s because time with you makes her feel even more alone.

She Doesnt Tell You Her Plans

Your wife doesn’t even tell you some of her plans and goals anymore because you disappointed her more than once.

Many times it happened that you ruined her special days, and she realized that she doesn’t have real support from you.

She feels like she is alone in her own in her goals.

Lack of Intimacy

Come on, be honest; when was the last time you and your wife had action in bed? You don’t even remember, but where did the hugs, kisses, and holding hands go.

Your wife feels lonely because, in addition to lacking emotional intimacy, she also lacks physical intimacy.

This lack of romance in your marriage contributes to this. Did this Valentine’s Day was just a random day in your relationship?

How to Help Your Wife Deal With Loneliness in Marriage?

Your support is essential for changing your wife’s mood and attitude, especially since you are the closest to your wife. After all, you potentially contributed to her condition.

Here’s what you need to do:

1. Figure Out What Went Wrong

Can you find the exact moment or reason you drifted apart and your wife became lonely?

When you find out what went wrong, you will know where to start correcting it.

2. Work On Your Communication

Healthy communication is the basis of every marriage. But not that communication as if you were roommates or random people passing by.

Open-ended questions open a path to the conversation that leads to deep and meaningful topics.

3. Be an Active Listener

You must be interested in everything your wife says and everything that happens to her.

Don’t be present only physically but also mentally. If necessary, reduce all distractions that catch your attention. You know how rude it is to look at the phone while someone is talking to us.

Despite all the obligations, setting aside 20-30 minutes daily to talk with your wife without distractions is possible.

4. Be Interesting

In addition to being interested, you also have to be interesting.

Don’t let the routine of life swallow your marriage, but surprise your wife with new ideas and surprises.

And remember to be romantic. It’s nice to buy a present for your wife sometimes, even without an adequate reason.

5. Physical Contact and Intimacy

In addition to regular intimate life, pay attention to all those small touches during the day.

A hug when you come home from work, a kiss before bed, and holding hands give your wife the feeling that she is not alone and that you are there for her.

To Summarize – Be There For Your Wife

“Never make your life feel alone, especially when you are there.”

With your support, kindness, and love, you can make your wife never feel lonely again.

Leave a comment