My Wife Accuses Me of Everything, What Should I Do? 4 Major Reasons

The blame game, guilt-tripping, and gaslighting are terms you don’t want in your marriage.

But unfortunately, they are present because your wife blames you for everything.

Are you wondering why?

Your wife blames you for everything because she likes to shift the blame to you; she doesn’t trust you, doesn’t want to take responsibility, or she is unhappy and insecure.

This doesn’t sound good, but is there any of your fault in all of this?

Because if there isn’t, you don’t want to put up with it anymore, but if there is your guilt, you want to change it.

This article is here to help you with that.

4 Reasons Why Your Wife Accuses You of Everything?

Because of your own wife, you constantly feel like you’re in court, and you wonder why when you don’t deserve that.

Here are potential reasons:

1. Your Wife Doesn’t Trust You

Did you do something in the past that makes her not trust you now?

Some of your actions caused her to lose complete trust in you, and now you are to blame for everything.

Here are some examples of your behavior that can make her lose trust in you.

Example 1: A Potential Affair

What causes more loss of trust than cheating on your partner.

We will not even go into the topic that you cheated on your wife, but we will assume that something was wrong on your part towards your wife.

It doesn’t necessarily have to be cheating in the classic sense.

Perhaps you crossed the boundaries of professional relations with female colleagues at work, and your wife found out.

Maybe you were commenting on how beautiful another woman is in her presence.

How do you behave on social networks?

Do you need to comment with a fire emoticon on every photo of a model in a bikini?

If you do all this, know there will be heated arguments with your wife.

After all that arguments, she may still accuse you of looking at other women, even though you have stopped doing that.

Example 2: Substance Abuse and Irresponsible Behavior

Your wife may still be furious because you had substance abuse problems or misbehaved.

Think of it this way, you had a problem with alcohol.

It went so far that you got fired for drinking on a job.

Your wife accused you of being an alcoholic and having a serious problem, which is not far from the truth.

Now that you’ve fixed that problem, your wife still accuses you of losing your job.

Not to mention that she always suspects you when alcohol is around.

Another similar example of this is gambling.

Have you had a gambling problem?

You spent a lot of money on a gamble, and now your wife blames you for all your financial problems.

2. Your Wife is a Selfish Narcissist

Narcissist to admit guilt? No way!

How can someone as perfect as your wife admit that she was wrong?

That’s why your wife questions everything you do.

When she runs out of topics to blame you for, she then accuses you of not paying enough attention to her.

Another characteristic of narcissists is that they are too controlling.

By constantly blaming you for everything, your wife wants to control you.

She wants you to feel guilty and weak, so she can easily control and manipulate you.

Have you ever wondered about your perception and questioned your judgment and intuition.

You have fallen into a typical gaslighting trap.

Such methods are used by narcissists to achieve dominance, power, and control over others.

3. Your Wife is Immature

The toxic trait of immature people is that they do not accept the blame but skillfully shift it onto others.

Your wife prefers to blame you for something, so she won’t have to deal with it.

Her behavior can be blamed on her parents. 

Perhaps her parents spoiled her too much and did not prepare her for life and responsibility.

The characteristic of mature people is that they know how to accept their guilt and not blame others, but your wife has not learned that skill.

Your wife is not mentally ready for change but still remains in that bubble where everyone is to blame for everything, but never her.

4. Your Wife is Unhappy and Dissatisfied

“People who ruin their own lives have a strong tendency to blame other people when things go wrong”

Daniel G. Amen

Did you get the impression that your wife hates the whole world?

She is constantly dissatisfied and grumpy, and some days she barely gets out of bed.

Your wife thinks that her life is terrible, that her marriage is bad, that she doesn’t have the job she wants, and the list goes on and on.

And who is to blame for all that? According to her, you!

It’s your fault that she chose to be a housewife instead of pursuing a career.

It’s also your fault that you’re doing the same dead-end job she hates and always struggling with money.

She wanted you to move out of where you live, and you didn’t? Also your fault.

Best Way to Deal With A Spouse Who Blames You For Everything? 3 Helpful Tips 

You are tired of being a constant scapegoat for your wife.

It’s time to change that, and here’s how you can do it:

1. Accept The Blame For What You Are Guilty of

We have listed examples above that can make your wife angry and likely accuse you of everything.

You have changed, and you are a different person now. 

Now, you respect your wife and have learned from your mistakes.

We believe so, but your wife may not.

It would be best if they immediately forgot and quickly forgave the mistakes of a partner who has obviously changed for the better, but that is not always the case.

Some wounds hurt for a long time, especially if you made your wife feel hurt and embarrassed.

So be patient and give her time to forgive you.

2. Point Out to Your Wife That Her Accusing You is Damaging Your Marriage

You have to have that difficult conversation with your wife, no matter how selfish, narcissistic or immature she is.

Your marriage is at stake, and her behavior is seriously affecting him.

Maybe her behavior even makes you feel emotionally abused, lacking self-confidence, and questioning everything you do.

That’s why you have to stand up for yourself and let your wife know that you don’t want to put up with it anymore.

Tell her all that maturely, and don’t play with her blame games.

Yes, it is possible to set boundaries in a relationship without being controlling, and you should do it.

3. Help Your Wife to Be Happier

Constantly blaming others for your failures is a sign of an unfulfilled person.

Blame shifting is a form of defensive mechanism.

It is up to you to help your wife understand that by shifting the blame, she does not achieve anything in life but to look at her own life and what is wrong with it.

Of course, you should carefully do all this. 

That realization that she is to blame for the things that bother her can be too much for her.

Although often, when people realize that they are the ones to blame for things not going well for them and not others, they manage to turn their lives around for the better.

You support your wife in that journey.

Help her to be happy and figure out what she wants and what will make her content instead of blaming you for her failures.

In General,

Constant blaming in marriage leads nowhere. 

Although you are not the one who behaves like that, it is also up to you to help your wife understand the harmfulness of her behavior. 

Don’t let the blame game be the endgame for your marriage.