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5 Reasons Why Your Father Won’t Talk to You

A father is expected to be a strong figure in every child’s life.

His role is to be there for his kid, so the child can always turn to him for everything.

But sometimes things don’t happen that way, and your situation is an example of that because your father doesn’t want to talk to you.

Your father doesn’t want to talk to you because he’s selfish, a narcissist, immature, disappointed by some of your life choices, or doesn’t care about you.

angry son and father

It’s challenging and painful, we know.

All this is a sore subject for you, and you just want to know why.

You also want to know if it is worth rebuilding that broken relationship or leaving it in the past where it may belong.

This article is here to give you some guidance, so stick around until the end.

Why My Father Won’t Talk to Me? 5 Potential Reasons

Every family is its own story, as is every father. 

There must be strong reasons behind that decision that he doesn’t want to talk to you. 

Here are some common reasons in those cases:

1. Your Father is Selfish

Maybe your father was that fun, outgoing guy who suddenly had an unexpected child and faced new challenges.

He believes becoming a father ruined his life because he had to sacrifice all his dreams for you.

Your father was chasing his dream job, traveling, but suddenly he had to change diapers and stay home.

He didn’t change diapers much because he still preferred going out with his friends while your mother looked after you.

All of this is selfish and narcissistic behavior.

We are not saying that a man should completely neglect his life when he has a child, but that child is his responsibility, and he must behave accordingly.

Your father never understood that and still subordinated everything to achieve his selfish goals.

You probably had to move around a lot when you were a kid because he was always chasing a better job, city, and life.

And all this because he was empty inside. 

He did not know how to appreciate what he had but was always looking for something else.

Now that the years have passed and you are an adult, your father no longer needs to contact you.

2. Your Father is Too Proud and Traditional

Is your father one of those men who doesn’t show emotions?

No matter what happened, he was always too serious and strict.

His parents probably raised him that way.

Such a traditional father believes that he is the provider, and the mother is there to be close and emotional with the children.

As for his personality, he is often angry and negative.

However, if you have had an argument with him and no longer live together for a long time, your relationship may ultimately perish.

Why? Because his stupid pride won’t let him contact you first.

He’d rather sit in that negativity of his, but he won’t go over his foolish pride.

What a strange man; his pride is more important than his relationship with his child.

3. Your Father is Immature

Is there anything worse than an immature father?

Maybe he’s not a bad person at heart, but he never matured enough.

Such an immature dad was not strict with you; he might have been too cool a dad who allowed you everything.

He wasn’t interested in you because he’s not good with serious commitments like parenting is.

You spent your whole childhood watching his immature outbursts, and he got angry when you pointed out that it was time for him to get serious.

Like a child who gets upset when someone tells him what to do, your immature father gets angry and doesn’t want to talk to you anymore.

4. Your Father is Disappointed in You

Did your father have too high expectations of you in your childhood?

You had to participate in all the school events and play all the sports.

Also, such a father must have been too controlling of you.

You had a strict time until when you could go out and who you could hang out with. It was known in advance which university you would go to and similar.

It all worked that way until you grew up and realized that you don’t have to do everything according to your father’s rules but that you are your own person.

Your overcontrolling father is not happy with your life choices.

Maybe he is not satisfied with your job, career, emotional partner, and that list goes on and on.

When he realized he no longer had control over you, he decided not to talk to or call you anymore.

5. Your Father Has New Family

This is very painful.

Did your father abandon you when you were a child?

Your parents divorced, and you started to lose your relationship with your father.

He was slowly moving away from you. 

As if he was running away from that whole previous life, completely ignoring that you are also a part of that life.

Just because your parents had disagreements and couldn’t move on is no reason for you to be neglected by your father.

He has the right to move on with his life after the divorce, but he shouldn’t forget about you.

And he did just that, your father remarried and forgot about you.

He now has a new perfect family.

Too often, you have seen how happy he and his new family are on social networks (even though you don’t have him as a friend on Facebook).

You don’t even want to be part of that family, but you wonder what was wrong with you when you weren’t good enough for him, so he had to look for happiness elsewhere.

Because of such situations, children develop various insecurities that follow them even growing up.

As much as he hates his previous life and thinks that marrying your mother was a mistake, there are no reasons for him to act as if you don’t exist.

What Should You Do When Your Father Doesn’t Want to Talk to You?

What is the smart thing to do? Move on with your life, or try to rebuild your relationship with your father?

Here are some suggestions:

1. Think Again if You Want Your Father Back in Your Life

You can probably find the father in one of the reasons listed above.

Does he even deserve to be in your life?

Your father hurt you emotionally by choosing not to talk to you.

The fact that you initiate a conversation does not mean that the discussion will be pleasant and that you will have reconciliation.

On the contrary, it can happen even worse, that you will be even more hurt and disappointed.

Maybe your father is selfish and will take advantage of your kindness and desire to talk again.

For example, to ask you for money.

Consider everything before initiating a conversation with your father.

2. Contact Your Father if You Think You Need That

It would be better if he contacted you, but that is not happening.

You feel a strong need to talk to your estranged father.

Unresolved questions from your childhood are bothering you, or you want to talk to him and ask him how he is doing.

Maybe you even feel guilty for not talking, and you want to at least apologize.

If this conversation helps you close some chapters in your life and move on, then do it.

3. Don’t Expect Too Much

We know there is excitement in you to talk to your father after many years, but keep your expectations low.

If he is still the selfish and immature man he was, don’t expect him to change now.

Also, even if he talks to you, it doesn’t mean he will suddenly support you in all your decisions and be proud of you.

We know it’s hard for you that you haven’t talked to your father for many years, but don’t make it even harder when that conversation finally happens.

4. If The Conversation Went Well, Stay in Touch With Your Father

This can also be a happy story.

Maybe your father saw that he was wrong to stop talking to you and wants to change that.

Then why didn’t he get back to you all this time? Because he was ashamed of himself.

He was overjoyed when you invited him to talk to and see each other.

If you think your relationship can be improved after talking with your father, that’s great!

Yes, you lost some time, but you can make it up now that you’re talking again.

With This in Mind

It is up to you whether you want to contact your father and try to restore your relationship.

That can go great, but it’s important not to feel bad if it doesn’t.

You did everything you could; if your father doesn’t want to be part of your life, it is his loss.

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