Marriage cannot function without trust.
Trust is a valuable asset to any relationship; it makes you feel loved, safe and secure.
You know it, but you realize that your wife doesn’t respect that.
She has become an expert in little white lies and does not hesitate to lie to you all the time.
Your wife lies to you about small things because lying has become a habit; she lies to defend herself, avoid responsibility, or hide something more significant.
Considering that you do not lie and that you do not tolerate lies, it is clear to us that this behavior of your wife is over your head.
In this article, we will find out why your wife behaves like this and offer you some advice on what to do.
Why Does Your Wife Lie About Little Things? 4 Reasons
To find a solution to your problem, we need to determine why your wife behaves the way she does.
It could be any of the reasons we’ll list below, or maybe even a mix of multiple reasons.
1. Your Wife Lies to Avoid Responsibility
Isn’t this the most common reason people lie?
Your wife does not want to face the consequences of her actions, so she chooses to lie.
Lying is her way out of responsibility.
Maybe she’s lying about whose turn it is to do the dishes or to walk the dog.
Lying about household chores is common in marriage.
Your wife is lying about tidying up the house just so you won’t say she doesn’t do enough around the house.
Behind this lying, there may be a bigger problem that your wife doesn’t want to face.
Let’s say your wife has a habit of drinking a bottle of wine daily, and she tells you that she drank only one glass or didn’t drink at all.
She knows it will result in a big argument, and you will ask her to stop.
As if you didn’t notice the cleverly hidden empty wine bottles in the trash can.
2. Your Wife is Lying to Protect Your Feelings
Is it sometimes justified to lie so as not to hurt our partner?
Let’s say your wife lies that she loves your family but can’t stand them.
Or she’s lying that you haven’t gained weight and can totally see your six-pack, but you’ve actually put on a dad bod.
Maybe the lies are related to former partners because she thinks what you don’t know can’t hurt you.
She doesn’t realize that by covering up the damage, she’s only creating an even bigger mess in your relationship.
What if behind all those little lies is a bigger lie, like a potential affair, but your wife doesn’t want to hurt you by telling you.
3. Your Wife is Lying as a Defense Mechanism
We mentioned lying as avoiding responsibility, this may sound similar, but it is not.
While lies to avoid responsibility are driven by selfish reasons, defensive lies are only protective.
Your wife may have had bad experiences in the past. That’s why she’s lying now so that the same thing doesn’t happen.
Unfortunately, it is often the case that a partner lies to protect himself from the other marriage partner.
Are you too critical of your wife?
Do you comment on everything she does and find fault with her?
Also, you need to always tell your wife what to do.
She chooses to lie only to defend herself against your offensive attitude.
It’s just that she is not even aware that she is disturbing her self-confidence in this way.
4. Lying Has Become a Habit For Your Wife
When lying becomes a habit, do we have a case of a pathological liar?
Does your wife lie too often?
You notice many times that she lied during the day.
Worse, it’s not even a specific reason, but it has become her behavior pattern.
She’s not just lying to you; you’ve noticed that she’s also lying to her parents and friends.
Your wife does not feel remorse but acts as if lying is the most normal thing in the world.
5. Your Wife Lies to Get a Reward
Not the prize for the biggest liar, but to get a specific benefit in life.
She realized that by lying, she could get a better job, higher salary, and similar, and that’s why lying is not a problem for her.
As far as she is concerned, the end justifies the means, and morally wrong actions are necessary for a greater goal.
If she’s not lying, then she is hiding the truth.
Because for her, not saying something is nothing like lying. And we know very well that it is the same.
Why Lying About Small Things in a Relationship is Bad?
Any lie, even a small one, is still a lie.
Frequent lies are a huge red flag in your marriage.
Relationships and marriage are based on trust and transparency.
Lying can signify that your wife doesn’t respect you enough or doesn’t even care about you.
What kind of marriage is that?
Also, the fact that she has to lie to you can be a sign that she cannot share everything with you because she is afraid of your reaction or does not trust you.
How to Deal With a Lying Wife? 2 Major Tips
You realize that your wife’s constant little lies impact your marriage.
Here’s how to tell her to stop:
1. Have an Honest Conversation With Her
Don’t attack her and call her a liar.
Even worse, don’t answer a lie with a lie because that way, you will certainly achieve nothing.
Tell her that you understand that we all sometimes lie, which is part of human nature.
But lies quickly get out of hand and start hurting those around us, in this case, you.
You care about your marriage and want it to be based on truth and honesty.
It is clear that those little lies can easily become big ones, and that’s why you must explain that to your wife.
Hopefully, she will realize what her lies are doing to your marriage.
2. Make Her Feel Safe
Lies usually come from insecurity. Why is your wife so insecure?
Did you contribute to that with constant criticism and unpleasant comments?
If you are, don’t be surprised that she is like that.
Your wife should feel safe next to you, even when she has to tell you some uncomfortable truth.
But maybe it’s not your fault because your wife is used to lying here and there throughout her life.
If it’s not your fault, but your wife is used to lying all the time to cover up some of her insecurities, help her overcome them.
It’s also a good idea to suggest that your wife get professional help to eliminate her lying habit.
“Those who think it is permissible to tell white lies soon grow color-blind”Austin O’Malley
Don’t let your wife’s little lies destroy your marriage.
Even a tiny lie about whose turn it is to take out the trash can feel big to you, especially if repeated constantly.
So let your wife know how her lies affect you, but also create an environment where she won’t have to lie.
We know you can do it! Good luck!