You go to work every day and work hard while your wife stays at home.
According to you, it’s not fair, and you want her to find a job and thus contribute to improving your financial situation.
Why doesn’t your wife want to work? She is overwhelmed with household responsibilities and feels that she does not have time for another job, or she is really totally disinterested in working, and no job interests her.
The situation is complex, and it becomes an argument when you tell your wife that she needs to find a job.
You can’t just accuse your wife of being lazy and not appreciating her hard work around the house, especially if you have children.
But she also cannot act irresponsibly and not contribute to your marriage by not working, especially if you are in a difficult financial situation.
It is important to recognize common interests and find a compromise, so there is no resentment between you and your wife.
That is precisely the point of this article: How to reconcile your and your wife’s interests to bring harmony back into the marriage.
Your Wife Doesn’t Want to Work – 4 Possible Reasons
Not all families are the same, and not all have the same quality of life.
Somewhere it is enough for one spouse to work and have all the conditions for life, while somewhere, it is difficult when both spouses work.
We’re also all different. You may be a hard-working guy, while your wife is more laid-back.
In any case, here are some possible reasons why your wife does not want to work:
1. Your Wife is Too Busy Being a Housewife
Did your wife decide on her own to be a housewife or a stay-at-home mom?
It seemed like a great idea to you at the beginning of your marriage, but now you have a different opinion.
The housewife’s role and work are often underestimated today.
The term housewife does not go with the modern woman, and everyone underestimates housewives as if that role has been overcome in today’s society.
It goes to the extent that the term housewife is considered dated, so the term homemaker is used instead.
While you think your wife is doing nothing just because she is at home all day, the reality is entirely different.
How do you think the house is always clean, the clothes washed, and tasty homemade food on the table? It all takes time and effort.
If you have small children, taking care of kids and home is a full-time job, actually more than that.
You have your own working hours, after which you come home, and you are free to spend the rest of the day as you wish.
On the other hand, your wife constantly has responsibilities that last all day.
You were okay with her staying at home, but your financial situation has changed, and you think she should find a job.
Or you’re jealous that she stays home and you must go to that tedious job you hate.
That’s why you get angry at everything she tells you.
2. You and Your Wife Disagree About Her Job Choice
Everything in marriage should be an agreement, but we must not pressure our spouse to do something he does not want to do.
You convince your wife in every way to accept a job she doesn’t want.
That job would help your financial situation, but your wife would be miserable doing it.
She has an exact plan of what she wants to do and is working on getting there. You then tell her to stop daydreaming and accept reality.
Her behavior is irresponsible, according to you.
You also think she is arrogant and thinks she is better than everyone because the job you suggested is stupid in her opinion.
3. Your Wife Doesn’t Know What Job is For Her
You told your wife that it would be nice if she found a job since she has extra time and that it would help you financially.
But there is one problem, your wife needs to figure out what she wants to do.
She may even be in a difficult position because she doesn’t know what she wants and feels lost.
This can easily happen if your wife has not worked for a long time, and now she needs to figure out where to start.
Maybe she even worked at a job that she quit, and she considers it her biggest mistake.
Now she is still determining the direction her career should take and what is the right job for her.
If you pressure her to find a job as soon as possible, you will only make her more insecure.
4. Your Wife is Lazy
It is not pleasant to call anyone lazy, but in this case, the situation is such that it is impossible to describe your wife’s behavior in any other way.
While you work hard for the family, she sits at home and does nothing.
To make matters worse, you are not in an enviable financial situation, and another source of cash flow into the house would mean a lot to you.
Your wife doesn’t work, yet she still complains that you don’t have enough money.
She even hates your job and thinks you don’t earn enough.
But she doesn’t do anything about it.
She even neglects household duties or does the bare minimum.
The children have grown enough to go to kindergarten or school, and as for the household chores, you also help when you get home from work.
You keep telling her that she doesn’t do enough around the house, and she responds with excuses or even insults.
Some days she hates even getting out of bed.
Basic work habits are acquired in childhood.
This behavior may be a consequence of the fact that she did not do anything before marriage because her parents spoiled her.
So now she expects too much from others to work for her.
What to Do When Your Wife Doesn’t Want to Work? 4 Suggestions
It would be best to change something because anything is better than arguing.
Try the following steps:
1. Review Your Financial Situation
Are you in such a financial situation that your wife must also work?
If so, she should understand the seriousness of the situation and help.
You may be living a comfortable life, but the house and car debts are still there, and you would live much better if you got rid of them as soon as possible.
If you are in an excellent financial situation, earning more than enough for your family, is it necessary for your wife to work too?
Because when she starts working, you might have to put the kids in daycare, or she’ll have less time for family.
Is it worth it when you already live well?
Put the pros and cons of her working before you attack her to find a job.
2. Offer to Help Around The House
You’ve decided that you need her to work, so now what?
Don’t expect her to do her job and then come home and continue the chores around the house and the children. While you come home after work and play video games.
When you’re already asking her to work, offer to take on some of her household duties.
Be prepared to split the household tasks 50/50.
With good organization, everything is possible, and don’t let your wife remind you to do something.
3. Understand Your Wife
Some people have different attitudes towards work; only those lucky have a clear direction of their job and what they want.
Please don’t be rude to your wife because she doesn’t know what she wants to do.
Help her, give her some advice, and ask her an open question: “What is your dream job”?
Encourage her to educate herself, invest in herself and chase her dreams.
If she has to do some bad work in the meantime because you are in a bad financial situation, let it be only temporary, and don’t distract her from her goals.
It’s always good to educate yourself further.
It can be relatively inexpensive if she makes a little effort to find good sources of learning on the Internet.
4. Have a Serious Conversation With Your Wife
If your wife does not want to work, and you want to help around the house, you need to have a serious conversation, especially if you need money.
Her behavior is irresponsible towards you and your children if you have them.
It’s time for your wife to understand the damage her behavior is doing to your family.
“If divorce is 50/50, marriage should be 100/100.”
This means that both spouses should give 100% of themselves to make the marriage as good as possible.
Show understanding towards your wife.
She will make the right decision if she cares about you and your family.