There is a saying when you marry someone, you marry their whole family.
You were aware of this when you married your wife, but you didn’t expect her family to be a stumbling block in your marriage.
If you don’t like your wife’s family, it’s most likely because they don’t like you either; they’re too controlling or want to interfere too much in your marriage.
It is true that when two people love each other and get married, others must not threaten their marriage, but here you are.
Her parents contributed that you have arguments with your wife, and they bring bad energy into your relationship.
What should you do?
You love your wife, but you don’t love her family at all.
Is it necessary to completely cut off contact with them, or is it possible to make some compromise on both sides?
Keep reading, and you will find out in this article.
You Don’t Like Your Wife’s Family – 5 Reasons Why They Annoy You
It doesn’t matter if you are just at the beginning of your marriage or if the problems with your wife’s family started later; you have had enough.
What are the major reasons that bother you the most about them:
1. Your Wife’s Family Thinks You are Not Good Enough For Her
The dislike is mutual, you don’t like your wife’s family, and they don’t like you.
Who started it first? In this case, we will assume they began to hate you first.
According to them, no one is good enough for their daughter.
Or they had someone planned for her who meets their incredible criteria.
Your wife thought for herself and chose you, but they never got over it.
They had objections against you in the beginning, but those objections continue to this day.
Your wife’s family may be full of snobs who think they are better than others.
They may not tell you directly, but you know they are talking bad about you to your wife.
How you don’t earn enough, how lazy and unmotivated you are, and similar.
It’s tough to love those people, isn’t it?
2. Your Wife is Too Attached to Her Family
Being too close to your family is not a bad thing.
Your wife is too close to her family, which gets on your nerves.
Ok, maybe you have a different relationship with your family and try to understand your wife, but you think they exaggerate.
Every weekend, birthday, holiday, and anniversary must be spent with them.
They even wanted to go on vacation with you.
That’s all right with your wife, although she also admits that sometimes they can be tiring.
How often is it okay for her parents to call her during the day?
When you are not in their company, your wife is constantly on the phone with them.
What would happen if you even mentioned that you and your wife should spend some holiday with your parents?
You know it yourself, a heated argument will start.
This kind of relationship your wife has with her family can also be a consequence of them being too controlling.
They used your wife to be too dependent on them and their opinions when she was young, but she obviously hasn’t changed that behavior as an adult.
This excessive control of your wife’s family can limit you and your wife in life.
Let’s say you want to move somewhere else, where it will be better for you both.
But your wife can’t separate herself from her parents and feels that if she does, she will hurt them.
She constantly feels like she owes them something and falls into their mind traps and victim mentality.
Even at the beginning of your marriage, there was an idea that you should live with your wife’s family.
Of course, you are against that idea and think married couples should not live with their parents.
3. Your Wife’s Family Interferes Too Much in Your Life
Let’s assume your wife’s parents aren’t such bad people, but they’re annoying.
They like to interfere in your and your wife’s life too much and always have some advice on what you should and shouldn’t do.
Your wife’s family wants to help you with something, but they create even more mess.
They keep telling you that you should find a better job.
It doesn’t matter that your current job is great for you; they want you to earn more.
4. Your Wife’s Parents are Rude
Do you sometimes feel embarrassed because of your wife’s parents?
You think they know how to behave very strangely and uncivilized sometimes.
Do they ask any questions that you think are rude?
For example: When are you going to have a baby? When are you having your second baby? When are you going to find a better job?
And similar questions that can throw everyone off track.
Did you know that your current problem has inspired countless comedy movies?
We know you don’t feel like laughing while reading this, but we recommend the movie “Meet The Parents” with Robert De Niro and Ben Stiller.
Maybe good humor will help you cope with your situation.
You also have no common themes with your wife’s family. You are even very opposite.
It can refer, for example, to political views.
How many family gatherings have failed because of heated arguments about politics.
How Do You Deal With Your Wife’s Family? 5 Potential Methods
You love your wife; that’s clear to us.
If you didn’t love her, you wouldn’t have put up with it until now, and you wouldn’t be reading this text, which you hope will solve your situation.
It is best to approach the problem like this:
1. Have a Quality Conversation With Your Wife
It’s time for a long and concise conversation.
You have to tell your wife how you feel about her family.
We hope your wife will be understanding and won’t argue with you
because you are touching her precious family.
Point out the obvious, and don’t use harsh words.
2. Don’t Turn Your Wife Against Her Parents
All families are different, and not all are close in the same way.
You may have been brought up in a more modern way.
As soon as you become an adult, you moved out from your parent’s house, and now you don’t see them all the time.
It doesn’t mean you don’t love your parents. It’s just that your relationship dynamics are different.
Your wife may come from a more traditional family where they are much closer and have to spend all day sitting, chatting, and drinking coffee.
It is not up to you to turn your wife against the family but to understand her.
This only doesn’t apply unless her family is full of bad people who don’t wish her well.
3. Set Boundaries
Once you’ve told your wife how you feel about her family, it’s time to establish healthy boundaries.
Some examples of this are:
- no unannounced visits from her family;
- you also celebrate some important dates with your parents;
- you only accept advice from your wife’s parents if you ask for it;
- If they spend the night at your place, they stay as long as you agreed.
Your wife may disagree with this initially, but your opinion is also important; therefore, you must come to a common solution.
4. Try to Understand Her Family and Find Common Themes
Think about it; you will see these people a lot in your life.
Then why should he not have a good relationship with them?
Treat her parents with love and respect, however difficult it may seem.
The family drama has never brought anything good to anyone.
There must be at least some topics you can agree on.
And those topics with which you disagree, you can skip.
You can turn off your contrarian mode.
Hey, why not cut back on talking politics in front of them when you know how it will end?
You don’t need to change your views because of them, but you can take a break from arguing that leads nowhere.
5. Find a Way to Involve Your Wife’s Family in a Way That Works For You
Why shouldn’t your husband’s family actually help you?
If they want to prepare the barbecue, let them. At least you won’t have to prepare it, and you will be able to rest that day.
If they are doing some home renovations, maybe your wife’s father knows some tricks and would be happy to help his daughter.
Let your wife’s family be your allies and not your enemies.
Your life will surely be much easier then.
We end this article the same way we started: “when you marry someone, you marry their whole family.”
That doesn’t mean you’re in some comedy movie like “My Big Fat Greek Wedding,” but you’re not far from it.
Accept the situation, and work on having the best possible relationship with your wife’s family.
One thing is for sure, she will only love you more if you have a good relationship with her family.