If your husband won’t stop talking about politics and he isn’t a professional politician, that can be a way to hide other problems he is facing.
It is very important when someone has a passion in their life, something that always inspires them regardless of the circumstances.
However, sometimes there is a fine line between passion and unhealthy obsession.
If your husband constantly talks about politics, but he is not a policy maker in any way, nor is he actively involved in politics, it can be a kind of escape from reality.
It is certainly not easy to live with someone who turns every conversation into a political discussion.
To have any chance of handling this problem, you will first need to understand why your husband keeps talking about politics.
Let’s consider some possible reasons why your husband chooses to communicate this way. Then it will undoubtedly be easier for you to find a solution yourself.
Politics Is Ruining My Marriage – Why?
Politics is a very convenient topic for expressing personal dissatisfaction. Everyone knows something about it. It’s an excellent excuse for a conversation but also for an argument.
Whether we know anything about politics or not, politics affects us all, which justifies every conversation about it.
However, although, in a social sense, politics has a connection with the marriage union, it cannot and should not have a connection with our emotional relationships.
Even when it seems that politics is destroying our marriage, that cannot be true unless we are politicians.
It is not politics that destroys our marriage, but the need to bind ourselves to some general principle and allow it to rule our lives.
People who decide to be actively involved in politics enter politics for different reasons.
Some really want to make the world a better place, and some believe it is the best way to achieve some personal benefit.
Indeed, precisely those people who are dedicated to politics will least allow politics to affect their emotional life.
So let’s see some typical reasons why your husband won’t stop talking about politics.
He Feels Important When He Talks About Politics
For some people, talking about politics is the ultimate proof of intelligence. They are happy to engage in political discussions even though they are perfectly aware that it leads nowhere.
They search daily political and global political topics. They are smart and are very satisfied with themselves when they conclude that they would know everything and could be in the position of a politician.
Such conversations make them feel powerful without getting up from their armchairs. This type of person likes to present himself as a political expert, especially in a group.
Maybe at the beginning of the relationship, you were fascinated by the fact that your husband knows so much about politics.
But now, you already expect your family and intimate topics to be far more important to him than debunking conspiracy theories at dinner.
Maybe he simply doesn’t feel important enough to you, so he’s trying to attract your attention by picking fights over topics that are generally considered very important.
Solution:
The cause of such behavior is always some feeling of helplessness or deprivation.
However, you cannot be a psychotherapist to your husband, even if that is your profession. But you can set boundaries.
Explain to him that you find the conversation about politics uninspiring.
Announce that you will exclude yourself from the conversation whenever he tries to put ordinary, everyday topics into the context of politics.
You can propose that politics can be discussed in the house only on certain days or that politics is not discussed in the house at all. Suggest another topic for conversation.
Another approach is to, for example, for a while, turn absolutely every conversation into a conversation about culture, fashion, or something that interests you to see how he will react.
Your Political Choices Are at Odds
If the two of you do not share the same political beliefs, your husband may feel the need to “convert” you to his side.
This may be a consequence of his firm conviction that he is correct, the need to protect you, or the need to enlighten you.
If he generally tends to do things his way, talking about politics may be just another maneuver to get you onboard.
Certainly, it’s hard to fight such a battle every day, even in marriage.
However, the fact that you are close does not necessarily mean that you should have the same views on everything. Here’s how to rectify this situation:
- Find things you both agree on. You both want to have joyous marriage and live in harmony with each other, right?
- Define how much of your identity is shaped by your political beliefs. Instead of looking for differences in your views, notice the similarities. Since you are married and share a life together, there must be more things that you agree on than you disagree on.
- Learn from each other’s differences. When you both cool down, you will be able to see how valuable these differences can be.
I know many married couples who have very opposing political attitudes.
They often make jokes about their differences, and their lives are not of lesser quality because they don’t agree on everything.
It is essential that you help your husband understand that you both have the right to believe in different things.
Politics Is His Excuse to Start a Fight
Among other things, politics is a great excuse to start a fight. Rarely can anyone claim that politics is unimportant, even if they don’t know about it.
Suppose your husband is going through a particularly stressful period.
In that case, he may like to fight and thus expel negative energy from himself.
Political discussions, even when they get pretty heated, are quickly forgotten, so many people use this type of conversation as a valve for channeling negative energy.
Solution:
You must not let your husband take it out on you. Find out if his dissatisfaction really has nothing to do with your marriage and your relationship.
When you are sure, this is the case, explain to him that talking about politics is too stressful for you and that he should find someone else to turn to when he wants to analyze the political situation.
You can always shut his mouth by suggesting that he get involved politically and become an activist, fighting for the beliefs he so fervently advocates.
Almost as a rule, in such cases, the husbands just back down – because the problem was never really in politics but in his inability to regulate his unpleasant emotions.
Politics Is His Hiding Place
Suppose your husband is not emotionally literate, which is not uncommon for men.
In that case, it can easily happen that he tries to express some other frustration through his dissatisfaction with the political situation.
People who use these mechanisms and project their problems onto other people and situations are often unaware that they are doing it.
He is tormented by a vague feeling of dissatisfaction that he is unable to locate and has no experience of complaining to anyone, so he unconsciously uses general topics to get rid of at least part of that accumulated negative energy.
Solution:
It is crucial that your husband feels that he can tell you that he is dissatisfied.
This behavior results from hyper-adaptation to circumstances in which he had no choice.
He was not allowed to show how he felt or ask for help. He unconsciously adopted a pattern of behavior in which he must be obedient and must not have personal problems.
It is difficult to get out of such people what it is that bothers them.
Still, on the other hand, as soon as you let him know that it really bothers you to talk about politics, he will adapt and unconsciously direct his dissatisfaction to another side.
Final Thoughts
The one person you can’t just avoid the conversation with is your love partner.
Politics will inevitably come up because you share everything with them. Although you might not always agree with them, it’s best to be ready for some debate.
It is a good idea to start by concentrating on the fact that your marriage will (preferably) continue longer than any political term.
Thus it’s more essential how you feel about them than whoever is in power.
Next, seek areas of agreement. Keep the conversation on the points where you differ away from people and toward the issues.