Nobody likes to be ignored. When that ignoring comes from a close person, it is even more painful.
And who is closer than a parent, who by default should always show interest in everything their child says.
Unfortunately, you find yourself in such a situation because you notice that your mother ignores everything you have to say, no matter how important or random it is.
Why does your mother ignore you when you talk? She doesn’t like what you say and the way you talk; she disagrees with your views, needs better communication skills in solving problems, or is under too much stress and has issues.
We understand that all this is causing you pain. No matter how old you are, you expect from your mother not only attention but also love, support, and guidance.
You feel rejected when you don’t get any of this from your mother because she ignores you.
In this article, we will go deeper into the cause of her behavior to clarify what you need to do.
5 Possible Reasons Why Your Mother Is Ignoring You?
How does your mother ignore you:
- Does she ignore you when you call her and never call you back?
- She ignores your messages?
- When you talk in person, she is not present?
She is not emotionally present when you talk and gives you short, empty answers, quickly ending the conversation.
Everyone has their own reasons for doing or not doing something. Likewise, the reasons why your mother ignores you can be various, but we will single out the most common ones. And those are:
1. Your Mother Has Poor Communication Skills
No, we don’t mean she can’t talk or anything like that. Communication skills are more than that.
With the help of healthy communication, we connect with others and also productively solve issues.
The reason why your mother did not learn to solve problems with others through healthy communication may be related to her parents. And we are well aware that parenting patterns are passed on from parents to children.
If she didn’t ignore you, she would probably yell at you when she doesn’t like what you say, which is also a wrong way to communicate.
2. Your Mother Likes to Keep Problems Under the Carpet
This may also result from past traumas or behavior patterns that prevent your mother from facing problems.
Your mother has a need to sweep problems under the rug. She thinks it will disappear if she ignores the problem, but we know that’s not true.
You are different because you don’t like any “elephant in the room,” and you want things to be precise. It bothers you so much that your mother avoids discussing problems and burning issues.
This way of dealing with problems may be a defense mechanism for her because she thinks she is defending herself and maybe you too.
If she can’t avoid the problem when you corner her, she’ll probably choose to lie rather than work on solving the problem.
3. Your Mother Disagrees With You
Your mother may avoid talking to you because whenever you do talk, there are significant disagreements.
These disagreements can be trivial but can be much more severe. Let’s say your mother disagrees with your personal views.
Your mother deliberately ignores you to avoid an argument because she knows you totally disagree on many topics.
Generational differences may also be involved here. A typical clash between boomers and millennials or gen Z generations.
There are many topics for disagreement. Your mother realized long ago that you are completely opposite and wants to skip discussing such issues.
In addition to not agreeing with them, your stories may sound boring to your mother.
You also realized long ago that you and your mother disagreed on many topics and had nothing to discuss, but you still cared about talking to her.
4. Your Mother is Disappointed in You
This is the most painful possibility of why your mother avoids you.
The disappointment can be so significant that your mother doesn’t even care about you anymore.
And while she cared, your mother constantly criticized you for everything, but now she has stopped that too.
You shouldn’t rush into such a realization, but what if it’s true?
Maybe your mother made it known to you openly. She is probably disappointed in you because you don’t live as she wants – “she is your mother; she knows what is best for you.”
She never forgave you for moving to another city; she saw it as a betrayal.
Or she is also disappointed in your job. Your mother thinks you should have pursued the career she imposed on you, not what you do today.
A frequent reason for parents’ disappointment is the private life of their children. She is bothered by the fact that you still don’t have a family of your own because she wants grandchildren.
Instead of supporting you in your decisions, this kind of mother wants to control and limit you.
5. Your Mother Avoids You Because of Personal Issues
This is not a case of sweeping the problem under the rug that we mentioned above.
Even mothers have the right to have a bad day, week, month, etc. Not everything revolves around their children, especially when children are grown up.
You may be panicking unnecessarily.
Maybe your mother doesn’t want to share a problem with you right now because she knows you’ll be stressed and you have important things ahead of you.
When the situation changes, your mother will tell you what happened. So don’t panic in advance. If your mother always behaved like this, there is no reason for panic.
How to Deal With Your Mother Who Is Ignoring You When You Talk?
It is expected that a parent should be mature in resolving this situation, but this time you will have to be mature.
If you want your mother to stop ignoring you when you talk, here’s what you need to do:
1. Ask Your Mother Why She Behaves Like That
Please don’t pretend that nothing is happening like her.
Ask directly, “What did I do that you avoid talking to me?”
It is unclear why your mother acts like that so suddenly, and you need to be direct to find out why.
2. Explain to Your Mother How You Feel
We understand that you feel hurt, rejected, neglected, and without support, and maybe you wonder if you are boring and if your stories are stupid.
Your mother must also understand all this; we believe she will see her behavior’s consequences.
3. Don’t Tell Your Mother Everything
You often ask yourself, should you tell your parents everything?
When children can talk about a lot of things with their parents and be understood in the right way, that’s great. But it is not always like that in reality.
That’s why avoiding topics that will make your mother not listen to you.
We emphasize that this solution is short-term, but you must do it sometimes.
Most Importantly – Recognize When Your Efforts Are Not Making a Difference
We understand that you want to ensure your mother does not ignore you when you talk.
You want her to appreciate your words and show interest in everything you say.
However, despite all your efforts, your mother still doesn’t understand her behavior’s consequences. It is essential not to be harsh with yourself because it is not your fault.
Parents should never ignore their child’s words, no matter how much they disagree with them.