You noticed that your friend has been avoiding you for a while now.
In addition to your friend not calling you to hang out, they take too long to reply to your messages or don’t reply at all.
Even when you see each other in person, your friend seems too distant when talking to you. It’s like they can’t wait to get away from you.
You can’t help but ask yourself, “Is it my fault that my best friend is avoiding me? or “Did I do something wrong?”
Why is your friend avoiding you? Most likely because of something you did, but maybe also because they are going through some stuff and need time for themselves, but it is also possible that they don’t want to hang out with you anymore.
All this is very painful for you. After all, you’ve been friends for a long time, and you’ve been through a lot together. But in addition, you feel confused because you need to understand your friend’s actions and whether your friendship has a future.
This is the perfect article for you that will help you see the situation realistically but also approach it with the right attitude.
Why is Your Best Friend Ignoring You All of a Sudden?
Although it may seem like a sudden friend avoiding you, it may be a more extended period if you think about it.
A major red flag that something is wrong is that your friend didn’t invite you to their birthday party.
The reasons why your friend avoids you can be related to your actions or those that have nothing to do with you, but still, because of them, your friend avoids you. So, here are the reasons:
1. Your Friend Is Angry With You
This is most directly related to some of your actions. Did you do something to make your friend angry?
What did you fight about? You maybe think your argument wasn’t that bad, but your friend thinks otherwise.
This could be because of some of your recent actions, but maybe your friend has been bothered by something for a long time, so they put you on hold.
And maybe your friend is angry because of your reckless behavior that has put them in trouble.
Those arguments can seem trivial, and often things like that happen between friends. But they can also lead to the end of a friendship.
2. Your Friend Is Disappointed in You
What contributed to their disappointment in you? Are you not as reliable a friend as you perceive yourself to be?
Disappointment can be caused by not being there for a friend when they need it. Your friend was going through a difficult time, such as a job loss or a divorce, but you were nowhere to be there for them.
Ok, it’s not that you’re expected to fix all the problems in your friend’s life, but you should at least be supportive and say the right words to them in those difficult times.
One common cause of disappointment is if your friend has discovered that you have been gossiping about them with other people.
The basis of friendship is honesty, and you trampled on it.
3. Your Friend Thinks You Are Too Self-Centered
Are you the type of person who loves to have everything revolve around them? Um, are you maybe a narcissist?
Although narcissists are presumed to have difficulty making friends, that is untrue. Narcissists have a lot of friends because they are highly manipulative and have that “larger than life” personality that can attract people.
However, not all those friends will put up with them long enough. Likewise, your friend is fed up with your constant drama.
Do you have to be the center of attention whenever you see your friends? Someone is trying to tell you something, but you don’t want to listen. You only want to talk only about yourself.
Even when you ask a friend something, it’s just so you can start talking about yourself.
Your friend doesn’t know what’s worse, when you talk about your successes and praise yourself or when you talk about your problems.
When you praise yourself, it is unbearable, and you want to let everyone know you think you’re better than them. You don’t even consider if your friend is going through a difficult time. For example, you brag about how you got a raise at a great job while your friend lost his job and went broke.
And what if you have problems? Your problems are the biggest in the world, and you don’t shy away from minimizing other people’s problems.
If you behave like this, you emotionally drain the people around you like an energy vampire.
4. Your Friend Thinks You Have Nothing In Common Anymore
Stop and think for a moment, is this true?
You and your friend have a long history of friendship, and you’ve been through a lot together, but you’ve changed over the years.
Now that you are interested in entirely different things, you may have opposite views on some burning topics.
Or another common situation is that one of you has changed, and the other has remained precisely the same, and that’s a problem.
And it is clear who has remained the same and who has changed in this case. You have remained the same, while your friend sees that as a problem.
You’re still holding on to some old times when you were younger, without a care in the world. You expect to be able to party with your best buddy like high school never ended, but it ended a long time ago.
You stayed in the past while your friend moved on and outgrew you.
Just remember how embarrassed your friend felt the last time you went out together, and you got drunk and made a scene in front of everyone.
5. Your Friend Is Jealous Of You
It doesn’t have to mean you’re the only bad guy in this story.
In this case, we assume you are a good friend who has done nothing wrong except for one thing, you made your friend jealous.
How did you do that? Just because you are doing better in life than your friend makes them highly jealous.
You don’t even think you’re competing with your friend, but they see it as competition. According to them, everything is a competition: who has a better job, a better career, drives a better car, and has a better marriage.
“People respect unhappiness and find it especially hard to forgive success.” – Françoise Sagan.
In this case, it’s good that your friend is avoiding you.
One less toxic person in your life is your gain, not your loss.
If your friend avoids you because of jealousy of your success, you don’t need that friendship anyway.
What to Do When Your Friend Avoids You?
Now that the reasons why your friend is avoiding you are a bit clearer, it’s time to decide what your next step is. Here’s what you need to do:
1. Start With You
It’s always best to start with yourself, so ask yourself, “Am I a good friend?”
If there is a pattern in your life where your friendships always fail, it must have something to do with you.
What are the qualities of a good friend:
- They are honest and trustworthy
- They know how to keep a secret
- They are willing to sacrifice their time to help a friend
- They are good listeners
- They know how to admit their mistake and say they are sorry
- They are happy about the success of their friends
- They are a real support to their friends
How many of these characteristics can you attribute to yourself?
2. Reevaluate Your Friendship
Have things really changed that much in your relationship with your friend?
If there have been significant changes, ask yourself if you are actually still friends.
The questions you should ask yourself are:
“Do I still want to spend time with my friend?”
“Do we have common topics, or do we have nothing left to discuss?”
“Are we limiting each other instead of helping each other?”
Maybe your friend has already figured this out, but you still need to.
3. Contact a Friend
You want to know why your friend avoids you, and you won’t rest until you find out.
In that case, you will have to see them to find out.
We understand that your friend is avoiding you, but you must make it clear to them that you need to talk.
Don’t write to them on social networks or send them messages. Call them and tell them directly that you want to meet and discuss everything.
If they still avoid you despite all your efforts to see and talk to them, it’s time to give up and move on.
4. Work On The Solution
When you discover why your friend has been avoiding you, ask yourself how much of your fault it is.
If it’s your fault, apologize and work on a solution to restore the friendship you care about.
However, sometimes the solution is to end the friendship if there are irreconcilable differences.
To Conclude – Continue Friendship or Move On
If you think restoring your relationship with your friend and solving your problems is possible, that’s great news!
However, don’t be surprised if that friendship can never be the same again.
Some friendships do not survive under the most formidable challenge, and that is the test of time.