Skip to Content

Why Do I Ruin All My Friendships? 6 Reasons

It happened again! Another friendship of yours is ruined.

When you think about it, this pattern follows you all your life. It’s like an ongoing cycle that always ends the same way.

You meet a new friend, and he hangs out with you for a while; everything seems ok, but eventually, the friendship fails.

Why do all your friendships end the same way? Because you are not a good friend, you lie and manipulate, you only care about yourself, you are unreliable, you are jealous, but maybe you just choose the wrong people.

Friends arguing

We know that it seems that we are too aggressive towards you, but you are the only constant here, and friends change.

Although it is most likely your fault that all of your friendships fail, there are some cases where it is not your fault.

We’ll discuss that in this article, so be a friend and read to the end.

Why Do You Always Mess up Friendships? 6 Probable Reasons

Please don’t be mad at us, but some harsh realizations are necessary. 

That’s why we’re going to list why your friendships fail. 

These are potential reasons:

1. You Are Jealous

“A jealous close friend is worse than a friendly hidden enemy.”

Jealousy is one of the main reasons why friendships fail.

Unfortunately, you are the one who is jealous and cannot be happy because of your friends’ success.

Their successes and achievements create restlessness in your head.

Those stories of theirs have a bad effect on your self-esteem, and you can’t even hide your obvious jealousy.

In addition to never congratulating your friends on their successes, just seeing the look on your face when they tell you about their achievements is enough.

Whatever it is, money, career, or family, you are jealous that your friend has something you don’t.

Jealousy is a toxic emotion, and no one likes such people around them.

Don’t be surprised when your friend suddenly decides not to invite you to his birthday party.

He’s probably fed up with your jealousy.

2. You Are Not Reliable

“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out” – Walter Winchell.

Friendships are all about reliability, being there for your friend when they need you.

When the whole world leaves him, you should be there for him.

But you’re not there.

When your friend had a flat tire and called you in the middle of the night to help him, you didn’t want to bother.

Your friend needed words of comfort because he got fired from his job or had a bad breakup, but you weren’t there to support him through the tough times.

3. You Like to Gossip

Some people love to gossip with their best friends, but this toxic habit often backfires.

Gossiping can quickly become a habit that is difficult to control.

Although this may be normal for you, it may be too much for your friend because he has realized that the habit is bad.

Your friend wants to talk about other, more useful things, while you want to spread gossip about other people.

When you gossip about people close to you in front of your friend, he will probably wonder if you talk about him in front of others.

It’s even worse if your friend finds out you’ve been gossiping about him.

No one feels comfortable being talked about behind their back.

4. You Always Make Everything About You

Are you the kind of person who always has to be the center of attention?

Everything must always be about you.

Your friends don’t want to hang out with you because you’re an energy vampire that sucks the energy out of them.

If something good happens to you, you make a huge deal out of it, but it’s even worse if something bad happens to you.

According to you, your problems are always the biggest in the world.

And what annoys your friends the most is when they tell you something that happened to them, you reply, “That is nothing; you won’t believe what happened to me.”

This is a surefire way to turn any dialogue into a one-way conversation directed only at you.

But no one will put up with that for long.

5. You Always Have to Be Right

Are you the know-it-all who always has to win every discussion?

You may turn any casual conversation into an argument if you have a complex of higher values ​​and are highly competitive.

Has it ever happened to you that you have to argue about something random thing when you hang out with your friends?

Like, say, politics, music, sports, and the like?

You think you know everything better than them and that they don’t know enough about anything and have terrible taste.

So why are you hanging out with those people?

It’s normal not to have the same opinion about everything, but you can’t expect your friends to think you’re always right.

Not to mention that you are an unredeemable contrarian.

Even when you’re clearly wrong, you counter with some incredible argument just so you don’t lose the discussion.

People who talk too much and always have to be right are often insecure.

6. You Overstep The Boundaries of Friendship

Friendship, like any other relationship, must have some boundaries because otherwise, there may be misunderstandings and even the end of the friendship.

Examples of friendship overstepping can be various.

For example, you give yourself the right to interfere in the life choices of your friends.

It’s one thing when a friend asks you for advice, but it’s another when you give advice and lessons that no one asked for.

Another example is when you are too controlling a friend, you treat your friend as if he is your partner.

Speaking of which, overstepping the boundaries of friendship is also when you are romantically involved with a friend.

It’s no wonder that friendship is ruined after you break up.

Maybe you and your friend were roommates for a while, and there were various arguments, so now you don’t want to hang out anymore.

What if it’s Not Your Fault That Your Friendships Don’t Last?

You don’t possess any of these characteristics mentioned above, yet your friendships don’t last.

Maybe your fault is not direct but indirect.

So what does that mean?

This usually means that you choose your friends poorly.

It will not end well if you are driven by some interests, such as material or social, or want friendship for any benefit.

People recognize fake people, and you won’t last long in the company of people you don’t belong to.

Another reason friendships break up is a general drifting away as you age that is not necessarily anyone’s fault.

This implies that you and your friend don’t live close by anymore, maybe not even in the same town or country.

Over time you hear from each other less and less, you become too different, and in the end, you have nothing to talk about.

It’s hard to reconnect when you’re far apart, but know that true friendships survive in all conditions.

How to Make Long-Lasting Friendships? 6 Tips

After all this story, you probably wonder how to be a better friend.

Here are some major tips:

1. Choose Your Friends Wisely

When choosing a friend, don’t be guided by your interests, but by whether a person suits you.

Although you will have short-term benefits if you associate with someone who will help you rise on the social ladder, that friendship will not be the right one.

If the point of friendship is only interest, it is more of a business relationship than a friendship.

2. Be Yourself

This is directly related to the choice of friends.

Don’t be something you’re not, because then you’ll never find a friend that is perfect for you.

Whatever your interests are, don’t be ashamed of them and pretend to be something you’re not.

Like-minded people will then never know how to recognize you.

3. Don’t Be Too Critical And Controlling

No one wants to add a critic to their life.

That’s why when you start hanging out with someone new, don’t criticize him.

Also, don’t be too controlling because you have no right to be.

If your friend can’t see you, don’t start a drama and talk about how he doesn’t care about you.

4. Respect Different Opinions

Not everyone can think the same way as you.

Respecting a different opinion is necessary if you want to have a friend.

No matter how similar you are, there will definitely be some things that you have entirely different opinions about.

If you can’t have a conversation in which you respect the interlocutor, you can hardly have a friend.

5. Respect Boundaries

Being friends with someone makes us feel like we can comment on everything about their life, but it’s not always like that.

Respect your friend’s privacy, and don’t interfere in his choices.

Your friend will tell you what he thinks he needs to say and ask you for advice when he needs it.

7. Don’t Force Friendship

We know you’re already humming the “Friends” theme in your head, and you’re looking at your new friendship with those eyes, but stop!

Forcing a friendship sounds like a desperate move.

When you forcefully try to be as close friends as possible with someone.

Instead, let the friendship develop in its natural course without rushing.

In The End, 

“A good friend is like a four-leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have”

It depends on whether your friendships last or not.

Apply these tips that we have given you, and your friendship situation will change for the better.

And if it doesn’t change quickly, know it’s not the right time yet.

Leave a comment