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I Can’t Be Alone With My Thoughts: 6 Reasons

The power of a simple thought is enormous.

In many ways, our life will be the way our thoughts are.

Your thoughts are negative, and that’s why you feel your life is also negative.

Not being able to be alone with your thoughts can be a product of deep insecurities, dissatisfaction, unfulfillment, or consciously being stuck in the past or worrying about the future.

Sad woman sitting on sofa at home deep in thoughts

All these challenging thoughts do not come alone, but usually, several come together, and they also carry negative emotions.

You probably feel mentally and physically exhausted, like you’ve run a marathon after a session of these thoughts.

Everyone has these thoughts sometimes, but you are afraid to be alone with them.

It is a clear sign that the situation is no longer harmless.

In this article, we will try our best to explain why you feel that way and offer you some solutions.

6 Possible Reasons Why You Can’t Be Alone With Your Thoughts

We are all different, and we process our thoughts differently.

What is the end of the world for some is just another day in the office for others.

However, some universal reasons for negative thoughts can be singled out.

These are the most common reasons why someone is troubled by his thoughts:

1. Being Stuck in The Past 

“Being stuck in the past is like walking forward with your back facing the front. You’ll always miss out on what’s in front of you.”

We are sorry if you have experienced some challenging moments in the past.

Unfortunately, those moments are also a part of life.  

That doesn’t mean that life doesn’t go on, and you shouldn’t constantly think about those moments.

Maybe you’re troubled by some big mistake that you feel has ruined your life, or you’re worried about something you did in the past.

And you maybe love to think about the past because you were happier then.

Nostalgia is beautiful, but drowning in nostalgia can be counterproductive.

Also, if you constantly think about someone who hurt you, ask yourself if they deserve your thoughts.

2. You Are Afraid of The Future

“Never let your fear decide your future.”

And we can understand this because we are afraid of the unknown, and no one knows what the future holds.

There is, of course, the current state of the world in which we live.

Add to that the media that likes to instill panic and social networks that overload us with information, and we have all the conditions to create fear.

All this should not be a reason your thoughts are constantly focused on scenarios that did not happen or on those you cannot influence.

3. You Are Unhappy With Where You Are in Life Right Now

This reason can include many different things.

You had some ideas about where you will be at a certain age, but the reality is entirely different.

Various dissatisfactions can happen in life.

It is possible that you are dissatisfied with your job and career and feel that you deserve more.

Thinking that you are better than everyone else can lead to severe disappointments.

You thought you would be a big shot in some company, but you ended up working for a guy like that.

That’s why you are so unmotivated that you want to quit your job and do nothing.

Perhaps you also feel that you should have fulfilled yourself in marriage or as a parent, but none has happened.

You may even be married, but the marriage is not functional for various reasons that usually shake marriages.

4. You Worry Too Much About What Others Think

“Care about what others think, and you will always be their prisoner”

Lao Tzu

Do you overthink what others think of you?

If you have these thoughts, it is clear that you will be dissatisfied and overwhelmed.

It is a sure way to limit yourself because you are trying to please everyone.

You will undoubtedly clip the wings of your dreams in an attempt to satisfy the expectations of others.

The expectations of your overcontrolling parents, your partner, or even the place you live, surely come to mind in this case.

5. When You Are Alone, Your Inner Insecurities Appear

“I am not alone, but surrounded by my insecurities”

Tayyaba Bhatti

As social beings, people do not like to be alone.

Because then the perfect mask we wear for others falls away, and then we are who we really are.

The fact that you find it extremely difficult to be alone can signify that you are too dependent on others.

Do you feel depressed when you are alone?

Anxieties about yourself overwhelm you, and you begin to doubt yourself.

All those successes you have achieved no longer seem so important to you.

You may even feel that you were too lucky and didn’t deserve any of it.

Instead of focusing on the good things about yourself, you remember some random unimportant event when you felt embarrassed.

6. You Are Bored

“An idle brain is the devil’s workshop”

John Bunyan

Boredom lays the foundations on which negative and difficult thoughts are built.

Could all those negative thoughts originate from boredom?

It is possible because when one has nothing to do, one is more likely to get into trouble.

And negative thoughts are a form of trouble because boredom can lead to various self-destructive behaviors.

She can quickly turn a glass of wine after lunch into a bottle a day.

Boredom is often associated only with those people who are unfulfilled in life, but that doesn’t have to be the case.

Very accomplished people can fall into periods when they are bored with everything. 

When they are lazy and unmotivated for any work or anything.

How to Change Your Thoughts? 6 Tips

You are probably wondering if it is possible to change your thoughts because you don’t want to torture yourself anymore.

Yes, it is possible! 

You can make a big difference in your life, even with tiny changes.

Here are some tips on how to do it:

1. Focus on The Present

Whatever your past is, good or bad, it remains only the past.

And as for the future, you can only influence it if you focus on the present.

Replace fears about the future with dreams and goals, and the path to their realization will open.

“Leave the past, embrace the present, and Let the future unfold.”

2. Change Things That Make You Unhappy

We know it’s impossible to change absolutely everything that makes us unhappy, but you’d be surprised how many things you can actually influence.

Change that job that makes you sad.

We know that it may seem like you’re going to ruin your life with that move, but you won’t enrich your life if you work at a job that drains your life force.

If you feel that you are not happy where you live, move away.

You can do that; you are not a tree.

Even people who make you unhappy and create negative thoughts can be left behind.

If you hate the whole world because you can’t change it, you can change your own personal world within yourself.

3. Don’t Focus on Others

Thinking about what others think of you is only something that will limit you.

Why live by others’ expectations?

Enjoy your life the way you want.

Also, don’t be jealous of other people.

We know it’s hard, especially today when everyone likes to brag about their material things on social media, but don’t be fooled.

Be above that to save the clarity of your mind.

4. Find New Sources of Motivation

Boredom can block everything you’ve ever found interesting.

You must look deep within yourself and remember something you were passionate about or try new things that can rekindle the flame within you.

Keep yourself busy.

New hobbies, traveling and getting to know new cultures, and physical activity are excellent ultimate enemies of negative thoughts that come with boredom.

5. Change Your Mindset

Small changes in your mindset can do wonders.

First of all, don’t set unrealistic goals and burden yourself.

Don’t explicitly promise yourself something; instead, tell yourself that you will try and plan to do something.

Leave room for failure because failure is part of life too.

Here’s an example of what it should look like:

Instead of “I have to go to the gym every day,” try “I will try to go to the gym every day; here’s how I can get organized.”

Another example: replace “I have to start eating healthy” with “I can eat healthier today by doing these things.”

Also, a good exercise for your brain when negative thoughts come to you is to think, “Is this useful for me?”

This way, you will slowly learn to drive away such thoughts.

6. Practice Gratitude and Mindfulness

Instead of being critical of yourself, try to be grateful for everything you have and the possibility of changing something.

Self-love is always a good medicine for negative thoughts. 

Enjoy that morning coffee a little longer than usual, fill your alone time with quality activities, write a journal, or meditate.

To Conclude

“What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you create”


Your thoughts are the architects of your destiny.

Change the way you think with our tips and form a shield against negative thoughts.

Your life will be much happier and more fulfilling.

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