As much as some refuse to admit it, we are social beings.
If you don’t believe us, believe Aristotle, who described the man as a social animal, which is born, lives, and dies in society.
We need interactions with others; without them, we can become depressed and lonely.
Why are you depressed when you are alone? The most straightforward answer is that you are not happy with yourself.
People who are depressed usually want to be alone, but it doesn’t always have to be that way.
You are an example of that because when you are with others, everything is ok, you smile, and you are full of life. And when you are alone, depression and loneliness set in, which make you feel terrible.
There is definitely a link between depression and loneliness. That link is what we’re going to explain in this article.
By explaining why you are depressed when you are alone, we will also try to find a solution to your problem.
Here are 5 reasons why your loneliness is connected with you feeling depressed:
1. Past Traumas
When you are in the company of others, you are more focused on the present and will think less about the past.
Especially if they are people you like and with whom you feel good.
However, harrowing images from the past can come back when you are alone.
When we are alone, we can easily fall into the trap of thinking about the past and all that torments us from it.
Past traumas that haunt you can be the consequences of:
- childhood traumas;
- grief for someone you lost;
- the guilt and worrying about something that you did in the past;
- strong nostalgia for the times when it seemed to you that everything was better;
- that one mistake that makes you think you’ve ruined your life.
2. You Are Not Satisfied With Your Life
Everything is beautiful when you are in the company of friends or family.
However, when you are alone, all the insecurities and dissatisfactions hidden in you overwhelm you.
There are always many reasons for discontent. Love problems, dead-end jobs, and the city you live in is holding you back. The list is too long.
Maybe you’re one of those people with a list of goals they must achieve by a certain age. You didn’t achieve those goals, and now you feel unfulfilled.
When you are alone, you hate the whole world.
Consider yourself lucky if you have such people who make all your insecurities disappear when you are in their company.
It’s admirable when you have people who will always know what to say to you, even though you sometimes have nothing nice to say about yourself.
You can even enjoy the company of other people who share your problems.
In addition to giving you the right advice and understanding, it is easier to know that you are not the only one who feels bad and dissatisfied about everything.
3. Your True Face is Revealed
We all wear some social masks in public. But people sometimes misrepresent themselves to everyone to be better accepted.
This is especially pronounced in the business world. It’s all about climbing that social ladder of success.
What if you got a little too carried away with it?
Due to some of your ego trips, you presented yourself as something you are not.
Of course, you want to present yourself in the best possible way, but creating a new alter ego for those needs is not a good decision.
There is a saying, “if you wear a mask too long, you’ll forget who’s under it.”
First of all, you haven’t forgotten who is underneath. The one underneath always shows up when you’re alone and maybe whispers to you that you don’t deserve anything because you’re pretending.
When you are alone, you know well who you are and what is true and what is not.
Secondly, you should love yourself as you are because we can’t pretend to be something we’re not forever.
If you have to pretend to be something, you’re not to be in a specific circle of people; that’s not your circle of people.
That feeling of not being able to be yourself in front of everyone is too challenging.
Maybe you hide it well on the outside, but it is still inside you. It activates when you are alone and wants to jump out of you.
4. You Depend Too Much on Others
Throughout your life, you have become accustomed to depending too much on others.
You expect others to solve all your problems because that’s how you’re used to it.
Parents who did not prepare you for life can be to blame for this.
Maybe they fulfilled all your wishes and did not allow you to be too independent.
It could also be the fact that you expect a lot from others.
Are you one of those people who think too highly of themselves and demand a lot from others?
You go so far as to think that your friends don’t care about you just because they can’t drop all their obligations and hang out with you just so you won’t be alone.
That’s why when you’re alone, you’re afraid you’ll have to solve everything by yourself, which is your biggest fear.
It can go so far that when you’re alone, you feel like you’re losing control, and that’s why you throw yourself into destructive behavior.
5. Depression or Boredom
“Boredom is devil’s playground.”
We never want to question someone’s depression or other mental conditions; we take them very seriously.
However, many people today label themselves as depressed when in fact, they are just lonely and bored.
Boredom comes with a desire to do something and be entertained. Depression does not. It comes with a loss of enjoyment for everything.
Loneliness can lead to depression, but it is not good to mix concepts and self-diagnose yourself.
How to Stop Being Depressed When You Are Alone?
When you are alone, you are left to yourself.
Then you only have yourself at your disposal, and if you don’t love yourself for some reason, you won’t be comfortable with your own mind.
Follow these steps to change that:
1. Identify What is Causing the Problem
What makes you feel depressed when you are alone?
Identify the problem and start solving it.
You can even list things that make you depressed when you are alone.
Once you have a list, you will concentrate on taking one problem after another off the list.
Don’t let the company of others hold you back from solving your own problems.
2. Understand and Love Yourself
Since the root of the problem we are discussing is the lack of self-love, it is time to start understanding and loving yourself.
Let bygones be bygones. It’s time to leave the past behind you and learn to love yourself as you are.
“In order to love yourself, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you” – Andrea Dykstra.— Andrea Dykstra
3. Try to Learn Something New About Yourself
No matter how much you think you are better in the company of others, you are your own best company.
As much as your mind doesn’t think so, give yourself time and space to get to know yourself well, who you really are and what your life path is.
Let your alone time be spent in a positive way instead of being wasted by feeling bad about being alone.
4. Start a New Hobby
What better way to overcome loneliness than with a new hobby?
Do you already have a lot of hobbies that you practice with your friends?
We didn’t mean hobbies that include others. We mean about the hobbies that you will only do with yourself.
Hobbies will help you to:
- beat boredom;
- create a new bond with yourself;
- stress relief;
- discover a new passion;
- challenge you;
- increase your self-esteem and confidence.
We recommend those hobbies that will spark creativity in you, such as playing an instrument, painting, handcrafting, writing, and reading. The list is too long, but we’re sure you can find yourself in something.
5. Get a Pet
If you find it so difficult to be alone, get a pet.
A pet is not a hobby but a living being that requires love and attention.
Choose a pet according to your possibilities, and pay attention to him; he will help you not to be alone.
In The End,
The only person that you can always count on is yourself.
You should not be depressed when you are alone, but respect that time and yourself.
Learn to be alone and to like it. Nothing is more freeing and empowering than learning to enjoy your own company.