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Why My Husband Makes No Effort With Me? 4 Potential Reasons

Your husband was the perfect prince charming from every romantic movie until suddenly, he stopped.

In marriage, we expect our partner to give the same effort to us that we offer to them. However, that effort may eventually become one-sided.

This is precisely your situation because you always give yourself to the relationship the same as in the beginning, but your husband has started to provide less and less effort.

This bothers you significantly because one of the main rules in marriage is to work hard for your partner in every sense and never stop making an effort.

Why did your husband stop putting effort into you? Because your husband is too preoccupied with obligations, he has become too lazy in marriage, takes you for granted and disrespects you, or is no longer interested in you.

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Is it your fault? Did something you do cause this change in his behavior? Does he still love you?

Continue reading this article, and the answers to these questions will become more apparent.

4 Reasons Why Your Husband Puts No Effort Into Marriage

There is some general opinion that men change in marriage. It’s not that you expect him to be precisely the same as at the beginning of the relationship, but this much change bothers you.

How is it possible that your husband went from being the best hubby in the world to someone who doesn’t put more effort into your marriage?

Let’s look at the potential reasons:

1. Your Husband Is Too Busy

All relationships start with high effort. That’s how it is.

However, that effort decreases over time, primarily because the partners have gotten used to each other but also have a different pace of life and more obligations.

You can’t even expect your husband to be the same as he was at the beginning of your relationship because he is no longer such a carefree young man as he was then.

He has many more responsibilities now and can’t be romantic all day.

Have you noticed your husband has had work issues or other obligations lately?

Take into account your financial situation and the goals you want to achieve. Maybe your husband works so hard to make it happen. That’s why he comes home too tired from work.

Despite all that, a little effort on his part here and there would be enough so that you don’t feel neglected.

2. He Spends Less Time With You

Is your husband spending less and less time with you?

He probably works a lot, but he often stays at work longer.

Even when he is home, it seems that he wants to run away as soon as possible.

He always goes out with his buddies, and you can’t remember the last time he took you out on a date. It seems to you that he would rather drink than be with you.

This opens up the possibility that alcohol is one of the reasons why he stopped putting effort into the marriage.

It seems like everything is more important to him than you, and he only has some random conversations with you or avoids them altogether. 

He doesn’t even want to hear how your day was.

3. He Became Too Lazy

You feel as if all the responsibilities have fallen on you.

Your husband acts as if his only responsibility is to go to his job, and everything else is up to you.

First, this implies household duties, and they are always present in every household. To get your husband to help you, you must remind him several times, which is highly annoying.

It is not uncommon for immature men to behave like this in marriage

Especially those who are used to their mothers doing things for them. Your husband expects you to take on that role now.

It’s not just about household responsibilities. It’s also about your husband expecting you to make all the decisions, from what to take in grocery shopping to important decisions regarding children.

He is already used to you being the only one to make an effort about it, and it is up to him not to burden himself.

4. He Stopped Being Romantic and Affectionate Towards You

The spark of passion is definitely dying in your marriage.

In addition to being generally lazy, your husband has become lazy regarding your intimacy.

He no longer cares about impressing you, to the point of neglecting his personal hygiene.

And you don’t remember the last time he gave you a little surprise or a little sign of attention. Gifts? He stopped giving them to you.

Anniversaries, holidays? We’ll just say your husband forgot to wish you a happy birthday because you didn’t remind him.

You feel like he takes you for granted because he ruins every special occasion for you.

Of course, his behavior like this will not motivate you to be close to him.

Why is Effort Essential in Marriage?

Why is the importance of effort in marriage emphasized so much? And what happens if one partner lacks in showing effort?

Effort in marriage means paying attention to your partner, their needs, and their feelings.

It also means unlimited support, honest advice, and providing a sense of security.

Effort can mean the most minor things, for example, when your husband surprises you with flowers for no reason, or those big things when he supports you in realizing your dreams and does everything to make them come true.

When one partner doesn’t put enough effort into the marriage, they send the other partner a message that they don’t care enough about them. 

Therefore, you feel hurt, confused, and disrespected. You probably wonder if your husband still loves you. 

This can create resentment in you because you can start to think, “If he doesn’t make an effort, then why should I make an effort.” In this way, your marriage falls into that vicious circle, which leads to mutual distance instead of focusing on solving issues. This is one of the most common reasons why marriages don’t last.

What to Do When Your Husband is Not Putting in The Effort?

It is unfair to you that you are the only one putting effort into your marriage while your husband is not showing effort at all. 

If you don’t know how to change it, these few tips will help you:

1. Dont Justify His Behavior Because You Love Him

We know that love can sometimes be blind and that if we love someone too much, we can look at them too much through rose-tinted glasses.

Since you are reading this article, his behavior bothers you, and don’t ignore that fact, but work to change it.

2. Tell Your Husband What You Want

You want him to show more effort, but how specifically?

It is not enough to just say that he needs to work harder for your marriage. It is necessary to explain to him. Especially if your husband is too busy or too lazy.

If you’re experiencing issues in your marriage, it’s crucial to have open and honest communication with your partner to identify and address the root cause of the problem.

So tell him that you need help with household chores, want him to be home more, take you out on dates, and so on…

3. Understand His Point of View

Your husband may not even be aware that his behavior is hurting you. However, he may also be going through some struggles, so he also needs understanding.

It’s best to ask yourself if your husband is a bad guy because he doesn’t make an effort?

If he is lazy or has some bad habits that can be fixed, just give him time.

However, if your husband takes you for granted, doesn’t respect you, and doesn’t really care about you, do you think he deserves a chance for redemption?

Besides logic, trust your gut feeling about it too.

To Conclude – Marriage Is Not and Should Never Be a One-Sided Relationship 

“A relationship is nothing if all the feelings, sacrifices, contributions, and hard work are only coming from one end”

– Kisstopher

Marriage is not a smooth and easy ride. It is actually full of ups and downs that both partners should go through together.

It is common for that balance to be lost sometimes, but the characteristic of a good marriage is that it quickly gets back on track.

Can your husband get back on track and show the same effort as you?

If you think he can give him a chance, your husband will change his behavior when he realizes how much it hurts you when he doesn’t show effort.

And what if you don’t think your husband can change? Sometimes you need to know when all the effort is pointless, and someone doesn’t deserve it.

It takes both sides to make a bridge, and both partners must work together to create a marriage where both will be happy and satisfied.

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