Your birthday is coming up, but you’re not excited at all. Why?
Are you the type of person who still adores her birthday and is usually excited like a child as her birthday approaches? Your husband is to blame for your lack of enthusiasm this year.
Or your marriage already has a pattern where your husband forgets your birthday.
This time you want to prevent it by reminding him.
Should you remind your husband about your birthday? If it means a lot to you, you should remind him, but you must tell him how much it hurts when he forgets your birthday.
But the point is for your husband to remember your birthday, not for you to remind him.
Although you feel a little petty and desperate, you don’t want to spend your special day in disappointment.
In this article, we’ll help you decide whether it’s better to tell your husband in advance that your birthday is coming up or to wait and see if he remembers on his own.
How Often Does it Happen That Husbands Forget Their Wives’ Birthdays?
We understand that you feel confused and like this is only happening to you, but here are some statistics to let you know that you are not the only one experiencing this scenario.
A study conducted by OnePoll, in conjunction with Evite, looked into the birthday celebration habits of 2,000 Americans and found that as many as 35 percent of people have had their significant other forget their birthday.
It is not good to generalize, but the truth is that men have a worse track record for remembering their partners’ birthdays, and results proved this to be true – 52 percent of men have forgotten their partners’ birthday, versus just 24 percent of women.
So this problem definitely exists, and you are not overreacting.
Why Do You Think You Need to Remind Your Husband About Your Birthday?
It just doesn’t make sense to you that someone forgets their partner’s birthday.
You remember the birthdays of your entire family, friends, and work colleagues. And your husband’s birthday is one of the most important days of the year, which you can never forget.
There are certainly reasons why you think your husband will forget about your birthday. Let’s explain those reasons in more detail and describe your husband better:
1. Your Husband Forgot Your Birthday Last Year
How unpleasantly surprised were you for your last birthday when instead of having the most wonderful special day, your husband totally forgot?
This came to you completely unexpectedly, because he always prepared a surprise for your birthday.
You waited all day, secretly expecting him to pretend he forgot, so he could throw you a surprise birthday party, but he didn’t do anything.
We can assume that an argument occurred when you realized he had forgotten.
That’s why you are not even in the mood to celebrate your birthday this year because you don’t want to be disappointed again. But you want at least your husband to congratulate you.
2. Your Husband is Forgetful and Irresponsible
How forgetful do you have to be to forget your wife’s birthday? Forgetful level your husband.
Your husband is generally like that for other things as well, not just about birthdays.
He especially annoys you when he forgets to take out the trash on trash day or when you repeatedly tell him to buy something from the store when he comes home from work, but your husband forgets.
You have to remind him several times to do anything around the house.
Obviously, you would like him to be more involved and motivated instead of his standard lazy and unmotivated version.
3. Your Husband Is Always Tired and Busy
Does your husband work too much? He always comes home from work tired and just wants to go to bed.
Your current financial situation may be why he has to work so much, and you need to understand that he will forget something in such a state of exhaustion.
But that’s no excuse for him to completely forget your birthday.
4. Your Husband Is Not Romantic Anymore
Ok, you don’t expect any grand gestures for your birthday. It’s enough for you that your husband remembers, congratulates you, and gives you a small gift as a sign of attention.
Men are more likely to change in marriage than women.
It primarily refers to that lack of romance. Just remember how romantic your husband was at the beginning of the relationship. It seemed to you that he would do anything for you, and now he can’t even remember your birthday.
Ok, many things have changed, there are also many more responsibilities now, and you certainly don’t have time like before. But that doesn’t mean that romance should completely disappear from your marriage.
Explain that to your husband, who has stopped giving you presents because he doesn’t ask for presents too. You have been married for a long time, so according to him, there is no need for gifts anymore. What stupid logic.
5. Your Husband Ruins Every Special Occasion For You
It’s not just your birthday; your husband can totally ruin other days that are important to you.
And it’s not just that he forgets about them or doesn’t show up; he has other ways too. For example, he behaves rudely and recklessly, embarrasses you in front of everyone, reduces your achievements…
In this way, your husband sends you the message that he takes you for granted, does not respect you enough, and is not someone you can rely on.
What Should You Do So That Your Husband Doesn’t Forget Your Birthday?
The simple answer to this question is to remind him.
But be sure to remind him a few days before your birthday, preferably a week. This way, you give him enough time to think about what is best to do for your birthday.
If you also care about the gift, you can give him a hint about what you need. Men usually prefer to avoid buying gifts because they think they will buy something wrong.
You should help your husband if he is often insecure about gifts. For example, tell him that a new book by an author you admire has come out and that you would really like to read it.
Is it Ok to Remind Your Husband About Your Birthday?
We know that reminding your husband when it’s your birthday seems like cheating because the point is for him to remember by himself.
It may seem like you’re putting pressure on him like this.
We agree that he should remember by himself, but sometimes it is justified to remind him a little.
Especially if your husband needs to be more mindful in general. Or if he works a lot and has a lot of things on his mind.
Let him add your birthday to the reminder list on his phone.
What Does it Mean When You Always Have to Remind Your Husband?
While this may not be a sign to panic, it may indicate hidden problems in your marriage.
Although he is not necessarily doing this to hurt you, this is a habit he needs to change.
When you have to be his constant reminder, it means that he is too lazy to remember things. He’s used to having you for that.
But you are not his reminder. You are his wife, who is hurt by his behavior, and you expect him to be more present and focused.
His behavior like this is a sign that there are issues that you need to work on in your marriage.
What to Do When Your Husband Forgets Your Birthday?
Despite your suggestions, your husband still forgot about your birthday.
Here’s what you should do:
Hear Him Out First
Even though you want to argue, hear him first what he has to say in his defense and what is the reason why he forgot your birthday. There may be a bigger surprise behind this.
Allow Him to Apologize
Only if the apology is sincere without additional excuses or shifting of blame.
Allow Him to Make it Up to You
Your husband has a guilty conscience and now wants to make up for forgetting your birthday. Don’t get too angry. We all make mistakes; correcting our mistakes is essential, and if your husband wants that, let him.
Look at The Bigger Picture
Is there a noticeable absence of romance in your marriage? Is it all your husband’s fault, or is it your fault too?
Small things like this can indicate more significant problems.
Same question as at the beginning of the article: Should you remind your husband about your birthday? YES!
We know you prefer that he remembers himself, but a few hints won’t hurt.
And here’s an interesting fact you can tell your husband: In Samoa, it’s considered illegal if a husband forgets his wife’s birthday. That’s right, husbands can be prosecuted for forgetting their wife’s birthdays.
We won’t go that far, but it’s certainly not a commendable act, and your husband needs to understand that.