Another weekend and the same situation again; it’s like you’re living in Groundhog day.
All your weekend plans are ruined by default because your husband has to spend every weekend with his family.
What’s behind your husband’s need to spend every weekend with his family? He feels guilty for leaving them, feels comfortable with them, or runs away from some problems he has with you.
Often in relationships, we wonder if we are overthinking things and imagining a problem where there isn’t one.
That’s precisely how you might feel because you don’t want your husband to not see his family at all, but does he have to every weekend?
Let’s find out why he behaves like that and offer tips on what you should do.
5 Reasons Why Your Husband Wants to Spend Every Weekend With His Family
You know how it usually goes, on weekdays, you and your husband work, and you have a little time for yourself.
When you get home, you’re probably too tired from work, finish the basic chores around the house, and then fall asleep halfway through a movie on the couch.
That’s why the weekend is an extra time to do everything you didn’t get to on weekdays.
That would be great if your husband didn’t spend every weekend with his family instead of you.
What are the main reasons why he behaves like that:
1. Your Husband Feels Guilty and Doesn’t Want to Neglect His Family
A guilty conscience makes your husband go to his family every weekend.
Your husband fears marriage will estrange him from his family, so he has to visit them every weekend.
He has a scenario in his head of how they feel hurt, and that’s why he has to see them every weekend.
If the situation is even more complicated, for example, if his parents are old or his siblings have problems, your husband will feel even more guilty for leaving them.
This can also be a consequence if his parents are selfish and manipulate him into feeling bad because he doesn’t see them enough.
There is also a possibility that his parents create this feeling of guilt.
His parents tell him they gave him everything, and he neglected them when he married.
He may feel he is in a much better position than his family and feels sorry for them.
That’s why he wants to help them all the time and probably helps them with various jobs every weekend.
That scenario is even more likely if your husband is a people pleaser and doesn’t know how to say no.
One thing is for sure, he comes home to you at the end of the weekend, even more tired than he left.
2. Your Husband is Used to Having Fun With His Family
He loves to spend time with his family, and that is not a bad thing.
You don’t have a problem with that, but does it have to be every weekend?
Let’s not start with how many siblings he has.
You want to spend the weekend together, and he has to visit each of them.
And there are always occasions for family gatherings.
Family events go from holidays, birthdays and anniversaries.
When there is no holiday, they decide to have a BBQ in the backyard, and of course, they invite too many people to that event.
If you are an introvert, unlike your husband, who is a social butterfly, there are more reasons for arguments.
Your husband does not know what to do with himself on weekends.
While you want to spend quality time together, rest, and go to the cinema or a restaurant, he needs to be surrounded by people.
You even noticed that your husband wants to visit his family without you.
He considers you a party breaker because you don’t want to sit all day every weekend with his family and listen to the same stories.
3. Your Husband Spends Time With His Family Because of Your Problems in Marriage
Are you and your husband having any problems in your marriage?
Something like frequent arguments, disagreements, misunderstandings?
Although it is not mature, your husband chooses to run away from your problems in marriage to be with his family.
Why? He feels safe there.
He knows the most delicious homemade lunch prepared by his mom (he probably thinks you can never cook as well as his mother) is waiting for him.
There’s also always a cold beer in the freeze.
Your husband loves to drink it with his dad while discussing sports.
There is also his room, just as it was when he lived there. All the posters are still on the walls as if time has stopped.
While he enjoys his sweet nostalgia and thinks about how good things used to be, you sit at home and wonder if you can handle such issues with such an immature husband.
4. Your Husband Wants to See His Parents All The Time
Actually, it’s not just the weekends; your husband wants to spend every moment with his parent and his family.
Your husband wants you to spend every holiday with his parents, and he doesn’t even ask you what you want.
He has no problem with his family coming to your place unannounced whenever they want and staying as long as they wish.
It is clear that his family comes first, and your family and your wishes are less important to him.
He told you he doesn’t want to spend Christmas with your family.
You can be with his family every weekend and every holiday, but he can never be with yours.
He even started talking badly about your family, and you feel he wants to distance you from them.
5. Your Husband Wants to Live Near His Family
Just remember how he didn’t want to move out of his parent’s house.
Now he plans for you two to live as close to them as possible.
First, you are against it because you’re fine where you live and don’t want to ruin it.
The second reason is that you know you will not have any peace from his parents.
You and your husband wanting to live in different places is probably a usual cause of arguments in your marriage.
How to Separate The Husband From His Family?
We will tell you right away that this way of thinking leads nowhere.
If you care about your husband, you should not try to distance him from his parents.
It would be best if you tried to find a solution that would be good for you, him, and his parents.
Here’s what you need to do:
1. Start With Yourself
Self-reflection should always come first when we want to repair relationships with others, especially important people.
So, start with yourself first.
Are you exaggerating?
Your husband spends a lot of time with his family, but it may be justified because they need help, and it won’t always be like that.
You want to avoid jumping to conclusions and coming off as the bad guy.
Look at the situation from everyone’s position.
2. Talk to Your Husband
Communication is always the basis of solving any problem.
Explain to your husband that you want to spend time with him on the weekend, not always with his parents.
Tell him that you feel neglected and that it hurts that you never spend weekends together.
Whether you need help around the house, want to go on a romantic weekend getaway together, or just want to cuddle while watching movies, you’re entitled to it.
3. Find a Compromise Together
Every marriage is based on compromises.
Visiting families and spending time with siblings takes up much time in a marriage.
If the relatives of only one spouse are prioritized, the other spouse will be dissatisfied.
Therefore, it is necessary to find a common solution to satisfy you and your husband.
It’s best to spend one Christmas with his family and the next with yours, right?
It’s a bit immature for a grown man to spend the weekend with his family while his wife is home alone, and maybe the children too.
Unless, of course, there are some urgent circumstances.
4. Set Boundaries With His Family
This is for your husband to do, but you have to let him know.
This is especially important if his parents don’t respect boundaries.
You are certainly not happy when unannounced visitors visit you, and you have a lot of work to do.
And it really annoys you when they play the victim role, and on the phone, they are sad when you tell them that you won’t visit them this weekend.
So make it clear to them in advance that they cannot come unannounced, that you cannot go to their place every weekend, and if you want to celebrate a holiday yourself, that is your business.
All Things Considered,
You can’t expect your husband to not want to see his family, and you shouldn’t.
But he also has to understand that his number one family is you when he gets married.
We hope you apply our tips and have many lovely weekends with your husband in the future.