In human nature is the need to chase something we don’t have.
The grass is always greener on the other side, and something out of reach is always better.
That is all clear to you, but you want to reduce that need and improve your life.
How do you stop wanting something you can’t have? The best way is to focus on what you already have, change your attitude, work on yourself and not think about the things you don’t have.
It seems to be a never-ending chase.
You achieve something you want and start chasing the next thing.
When is enough?
Another important topic is whether we should limit ourselves by accepting that something is out of our reach or should we continue to obsessively chase it.
Again, many successes in life come from not giving up on our dreams.
What is normal for you today once seemed far and unattainable.
But if the need for what you can’t have overwhelms you, you can only sabotage yourself.
How do you find a balance between chasing dreams and stopping chasing things you can’t have? Let’s find out.
Why Do You Want Things You Don’t Have? 6 Reasons
We have already mentioned human nature and the need to chase after something we cannot have.
But that’s too broad an answer. Let’s dig deeper and find more specific reasons.
1. To Satisfy Your Ego
The ego is how we view ourselves.
Your desire to satisfy your ego will be significant if you have a huge ego.
Not everyone’s ego is satisfied by the same things.
Someone likes to be successful and have a lot of money, while others want to be generally accepted and understood as intelligent.
The very thing unattainable to you is that missing link to satisfy your ego.
That dopamine fix you get when you let something go and feed your confidence is priceless for you.
2. You are Too Dependent on Others
Are your happiness and inner satisfaction too connected to material things?
Or is it related to other people?
It’s probably hard for you when you’re alone because all the internal struggles overwhelm you.
You feel depressed when you are alone.
Let’s guess, do you feel weird going to the movies or to a restaurant alone?
We will tell you right away that this is a terrible perception.
Of course, you have the right to imagine that perfect person you like, but if it is unattainable, you will waste your energy on it.
Your thoughts and energy are precious. It would be best if you didn’t waste them on something or someone you can’t have.
3. You Are Too Competitive
People like to compete with others, are you like that?
Although when we think about it, life constantly throws some competition in front of us.
As kids, we competed to see who had better grades and who was better at sports.
Now, as adults, we raise it to a higher level, so we compete to see who has a better car, job, and house.
Being competitive and competing with others can easily become an obsession.
Someone would correlate competition with ambition.
There are similarities, but ambitious people do not suffer from competing with others but work on themselves and achieve their goals.
4. The Scarcity Effect
This effect is well-known in psychology, marketing, and economics.
The scarcity effect implies that we value more what is rare and easily available.
How do you think some limited collector examples sell for some huge bucks?
Humans still have that primal drive to survive in them.
Just remember when there is a shortage of some product in stores, how suddenly everyone needs it and they don’t ask how much it costs.
Are you also a victim of the scarcity effect?
If you keep falling for the idea that you automatically need something limited, then you are. It doesn’t matter that it is unavailable to you. You want it.
5. The Need to Chase The Unattainable Excites You
Something is exciting and mystical about something that we cannot have.
If a person interests you and you don’t know much about them, it is a bit of a mystery.
Let’s add to that all that you love and challenge yourself.
You love to make the unattainable attainable.
Many people get bored with the routine and wonder what their ultimate limits are in life.
That’s why they set themselves impossible tasks just to try to satisfy that feeling in themselves.
6. You Always Like Someone Else’s Things Better Than Your Own
We feel some jealousy, envy, and vanity here.
These strong negative traits go well together.
If you also suffer from them, know that you are your worst enemy.
You are jealous of someone who owns a better house, car, or job than you.
Maybe you even think he didn’t deserve it or was lucky.
Happiness also needs to be earned, and often we don’t see the hard work that someone puts into something. We only see the achievements.
The other people’s successes are not your failures.
You have such thoughts and want something that belongs to someone else. Know that it is only holding you back in life.
7. Your Desire Interferes with Logical Thinking
This is especially pronounced if it concerns the person we fall in love with, but we cannot be with them.
Those butterflies in the stomach can block us from reasoning.
Let’s say you fell in love with a happily married colleague.
You must have overstepped some boundaries in your behavior with a female coworker.
You can start fantasizing and idealizing that forbidden relationship.
You already see the “they lived happily ever after” ending, but in reality, that relationship is impossible.
Just because that person is married and unavailable, you attribute better characteristics to them and think they are perfect, but they may not be the person for you at all.
How Do You Stop Wanting What You Don’t Have? 5 Tips
When you constantly want something you can’t have, you can fall into a vortex of dissatisfaction, sadness, jealousy, and low self-confidence.
To avoid that, be sure to try these tips:
1. Focus On What You Have
This is definitely the best medicine to stop wanting the unattainable.
When you focus on what you don’t have, it means that you take everything you already have for granted.
Maybe the grass is greener at your neighbor’s, but more beautiful flowers are in your yard.
One good tip is to keep a gratitude journal and write down everything you are grateful for.
This way, you will shift your focus from the unrealistic desires that occupy your mind.
2. Make a Difference Between Chasing Dreams and Obsession
There are many examples of people who did not give up on their dreams and eventually succeeded in achieving them.
When asked how they succeeded, they will generally say it is important to work hard and not give up.
You should chase your dreams but stay realistic because disappointments that come from obsessions can be crucial.
Don’t lose yourself while chasing a dream.
A healthy passion is always a better choice than an unhealthy obsession.
3. Change The Way You Think
Changing your perspective and way of thinking is essential to stop thinking about what you don’t have.
We can’t always have what we want. That’s just how life is.
Instead of thinking of something you didn’t get, think of it as a redirection on your path that will lead you to the things you actually need.
4. Don’t Burden Yourself With Material Things
This article is not only about material things, but they are often the cause of our dissatisfaction.
We know it’s hard not to fall into the traps of materialism today, but try to resist.
Do you really need everything, even what is unattainable?
It is often said that by buying things, we do not own them, but they own us. Think about that.
We’re not saying you should live a minimalist life, but you’re doing yourself harm by constantly thinking about things that are out of your reach.
Spiritual over the material, maybe you should try that approach.
5. Recognize What Triggers Those Emotions
To want something unattainable means that you are not satisfied with something.
It can be a job, a relationship, your city, and so on.
Ok, now that you have recognized the cause of dissatisfaction, you can start working on it.
But most important of all, shift your focus from what is unrealistic and find some realistic options that you will achieve and improve your life.
Everything is changeable. It’s crucial to stay realistic and not sabotage yourself with unrealistic expectations.
To Wrap It All Up,
“Wishing things were different is a great way to torture yourself.”
Don’t let your mind be occupied by things or people you can’t have.
Instead, focus on what you already have and work on yourself.
That way, good things, and the right people will come to you. We promise.