Every weekend at family lunch, the same scenario happens.
You are sitting at the table with your husband’s parents, and everything seems fine.
However, your husband starts putting you down in front of them.
Sometimes it sounds like a joke or a naive remark. But your mood suddenly changes, and you feel embarrassed.
Your husband ruined another family weekend.
Why does your husband put you down in front of his family? He is probably feeling insecure and trying to elevate himself in front of them. Your husband is trying to impress his family that way.
At some point, it can destroy your relationship with your husband.
Further, It can have consequences for your emotional well-being.
So please stop to make excuses for him.
Why Does Your Husband Always Put You Down in Front of His Family?
Love is based on respect.
It is unacceptable for anyone to belittle you in front of others.
Compliments he gives you when you are alone going down well.
But he humiliates you in front of others. Also, he is always jokingly insulting you. Such behavior is unacceptable.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s situation is unique.
There could be various reasons why your husband puts you down in front of his family.
In this article, we will list several possible reasons for his behavior.
1. He is Trying to Impress His Family
Sometimes, people feel the need to put others down.
That’s how they make themselves look better.
Your husband might be doing this in an attempt to impress his family.
Or he wants to make himself appear superior to you.
Also, he may be seeking validation or approval from them.
This could happen if his family has a particular dynamic or culture.
In any case, this behavior is not okay; you are aware of that.
But don’t let this kind of humiliation continue.
Save your dignity and confront him.
2. He Lacks Respect for You
A fact that is clear from the beginning, your husband doesn’t respect you.
It’s hard to admit it, but it’s evident. If you want to stay in this marriage, solve this problem quickly.
Try to approach the conversation calmly and without blame.
Be willing to listen to his perspective as well. If you cannot resolve the issue on your own, consider seeking the help of a therapist.
Marriage therapy can help you navigate this difficult situation. You will have a safe space to work through these issues.
What Does it Mean When Your Husband Insults You?
When we are in love, we tend to idealize our partner.
Therefore, it is possible that you are not even aware that your husband insults you.
Insulting is the first sign of a lack of respect in a marriage.
The followings are some signs and red flags that indicate a lack of respect and insult:
- He holds off dates because of other people
- Doesn’t respect your boundaries
- He says you’re lazy when you are tired
- Your husband says you’re not pretty enough
- Tries to deny your emotions
- Compare you to other women
- Ignores your emotional needs
- He doesn’t participate in household chores
3. Your Husband is Trying to Be Funny
If someone makes jokes about you, sometimes it can be charming.
But your husband constantly makes fun of your physical appearance in front of others.
In that case, you rightly feel ashamed. Your husband needs to know when it is enough. That’s not even a bad joke, but disrespect.
He may try to justify himself and say how you can’t take a joke.
But that’s pure gaslighting.
4. Your Husband May Feel Threatened By You
People who are insecure about themselves may try to put others down. That makes insecure persons feel better.
Your husband may feel threatened by you or your accomplishments.
Putting you down in front of his family could be a way to feel more in control.
It’s okay to be compassionate after knowing this. But you have to protect yourself first.
Set boundaries around how you will interact with his family.
If you feel uncomfortable or unsafe around them, limit your participation in family events.
5. He Has Unresolved Issues With His Family
Did you consider that your husband may have unresolved issues with his family?
It could be his way of deflecting attention from himself and onto you.
Maybe he is not doing it consciously. Your husband probably has no intention to hurt you.
It is already his defense and a way to escape from problems. You have to tell him how it constantly hurts you.
This way, you will help him become aware of this problem. Also, you must seek support from a trusted friend and family member.
Having someone to talk to who understands what you’re going through can be remedial.
6. You Don’t Respect Him
It’s easiest to blame your partner for all the problems in the relationship.
However, sometimes you need to reconsider your actions.
People are sometimes not aware of their actions and behavior.
If your partner needs to be more assertive, the problem becomes even more complicated.
Ask yourself if you are first hurt and disrespect him in front of others.
Maybe he feels hurt, but he can’t tell you that directly.
It’s his way of expressing rebellion. Try to see things from his point of view.
In any case, your husband should work on his communication skills.
Observe your behavior and the way you treat him in front of others.
A happy marriage without respect doesn’t exist!
It is hard when someone we love puts us down, especially in front of their family.
There may be many reasons why your husband put you down in front of his family.
It could be a sign of a deeper issue in your relationship.
Also, it is a reflection of his insecurities or needs for control.
But remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.
Also, you have the right to set boundaries in your marriage.
Be clear about what you expect from him from now on.
And you have to stand up for yourself when those boundaries are crossed.
That’s how you will ensure that he will treat you well.
Work towards a healthier relationship, and take care of yourself!