The same scenario always: You plan to meet up with your boyfriend, but he’s always running late. When you finally get to speak to him, it feels like he’s not paying attention. And when you visit him, he spends most of his time playing video games.
Yes, video games are your boyfriend’s main focus and are starting to affect your relationship. Although you may not have realized it previously, it’s now evident that gaming is a top priority for your gamer boyfriend.
Why does your boyfriend prioritize games over you? Because he is childish, lazy, and unmotivated. In more extreme cases, it is some form of escapism or even full-blown addiction.
You don’t want to be shallow and break up with your boyfriend over video games, but how long can you last in this relationship?
This article is here to help you better understand your gamer boyfriend’s behavior and how to deal with that situation.
4 Potential Reasons Why All Your Boyfriend Does Is Playing Video Games?
If you are a gamer, it may be easier to comprehend his actions. However, your significant other’s behavior may be unclear if you are not interested in video games.
Have you ever wondered how popular video games actually are today? According to the latest data, there are approximately 3.09 billion active video gamers worldwide. Huge number, right?
However, you are not interested in statistics but in why your boyfriend chooses video games over you. Here’s why:
1. Your Boyfriend Is Childish
We want to immediately emphasize that we do not consider video games childish.
Maybe you disagree and think that video games are just for kids, but know that according to statistics, an average gamer is a 34-year-old man who has a family and a job.
Video games are just one type of hobby, like watching movies or playing sports, and all hobbies are wholesome when practiced healthily.
However, your boyfriend avoids all responsibilities and puts his hobby before everything else. Isn’t that typical childish behavior?
Maybe he’s still in the same mindset as when he was a teenager and stayed up all night playing video games. With this approach in life, it will undoubtedly be difficult for him to find a job or be in a serious relationship.
Could your boyfriend’s parents be responsible for his behavior? Perhaps by spoiling him too much, they failed to adequately prepare him for the challenges and responsibilities of adulthood.
2. Your Boyfriend Is Lazy and Unmotivated
Do you sometimes feel your boyfriend wastes his potential and precious time playing video games? If you had to describe him in two words, it would be lazy and unmotivated.
Your boyfriend may be currently unemployed and not taking any steps to improve his situation. He lacks any significant life goals and focuses solely on playing video games.
You believe that he has the potential to do more, but he settles for that crappy job that you hate just to have enough time for video games. Any progress in life requires extra effort, and your boyfriend needs to be more motivated to make it happen.
It seems to you that the obstacle holding him back from achieving that is his intense gaming.
3. Your Boyfriend Uses Video Games As Escapism
Playing video games is a fantastic way to escape from the mundane and sometimes overwhelming reality. The incredible worlds within video games can offer a perfect break from everyday concerns and can be an excellent source of stress relief.
However, what if one goes too far in this escape from reality? You think your boyfriend is doing just that.
He may have some unprocessed trauma or issues that need to be resolved, but he uses video games as a shield from all problems.
Although indulging in fantasy can be enjoyable, it is crucial to maintain a connection with reality and avoid becoming overly engrossed in it.
Tell that to your boyfriend, who plays his favorite video games all day and talks about them constantly.
If he is part of a larger online gaming community, he probably thinks his gaming has a “greater purpose” and that “you don’t understand that.”
4. Your Boyfriend Is Addicted to Video Games
Like all other addictions, gaming addiction is real, and your boyfriend may be suffering from it.
Video gaming addiction, or gaming disorder, is a behavioral addiction characterized by excessive and compulsive gaming that interferes with a person’s daily life, responsibilities, and well-being.
Here are the common signs of video gaming addiction:
- Preoccupation With Gaming: Individuals preoccupied with gaming tend to think about it constantly, making it the main focus of their life. They may daydream about the game, plan their next gaming session, or talk excessively with others.
- Loss of Interest in Other Activities: People who suffer from gaming addiction may experience a decrease in interest in activities that they previously found enjoyable, such as sports, socializing, or spending time with loved ones.
- Neglecting Responsibilities: Individuals with a gaming addiction may disregard their responsibilities at school, work, or home, resulting in skipping classes, poor job performance, or neglecting household chores in favor of playing games.
- Inability to Control Gaming Behavior: The individual struggles to control the amount of gaming time. They may repeatedly attempt to cut back or stop gaming without success.
- Isolation and Social Withdrawal: They may withdraw from social interactions and spend significant time gaming alone rather than engaging with others.
- Physical Symptoms: Prolonged gaming can lead to physical symptoms such as fatigue, headaches, eye strain, and irregular sleep patterns.
Why Do You Hate That Your Boyfriend is a Gamer?
Can gaming ruin a relationship? That’s a question you often think about.
You don’t want to be dramatic, but you feel like your relationship with your boyfriend is negatively affected by his excessive gaming.
Do these things bother you the most:
- Feeling Second Best: Your boyfriend’s prioritization of video games leads to less time spent with you.
- Communication Breakdown: Emotional distance and a lack of quality communication between partners also result in physical distance.
- Different Life Goals: You have ambitions to progress in life, but your boyfriend’s interests lie in playing video games and remaining inactive.
- Different Interests: You want to talk about specific topics, while your boyfriend only wants to discuss games, levels, and gaming characters.
What Should You Do When Your Boyfriend Prioritizes Video Games Over You?
According to Divorce Online, men playing video games are cited as at least a partial cause in 15% of divorce cases.
Imagine the impact of video gaming addiction on relationships that are not as stable as marriages, considering the percentage of marriages affected by addiction.
You clearly care about your relationship and want to change things. Here’s what you need to do:
1. Communicate Your Feelings While Avoiding Blaming
It’s easy to fall into the trap of blaming or accusing your partner who is into games, especially if you are not a fan of video games.
There can be serious insults, for example, if you tell him he is “a loser who will achieve nothing because of his video games.”
Avoid blaming or accusations, and instead, explain to him how you feel when he constantly neglects you because of video games.
Reflect on your feelings, assess how much his gaming habits impact your relationship, and identify specific instances where you felt overlooked.
2. Try to Find a Compromise
How much gaming is too much? There is no 100% correct answer to that question.
As long as gaming does not threaten the individual’s overall well-being, health, and relationships, gaming is acceptable, just like any hobby.
It’s crucial to find a middle ground. Both you and your boyfriend should be willing to make compromises.
Compromise also means setting boundaries.
One way to balance your partner’s love of gaming with spending quality time together is to suggest setting aside specific days or times for him to play without interruption. On other days, you can plan activities to do together. Working collaboratively in this way ensures that both of your needs are met.
3. Encourage His Personal Growth
We’re back to the point that you shouldn’t talk bad about your boyfriend’s gaming.
What if it’s a video gaming addiction? You read the symptoms above. Have you recognized your boyfriend in them? In that case, consider seeking professional advice from a relationship counselor or therapist.
Even if it is not an addiction, you should encourage your boyfriend to try new things and strive to achieve his goals instead of having a defeatist attitude and choosing to escape into the world of video games.
Video games are cool, but why not find common interests and hobbies besides gaming?
Isn’t that the point of a relationship? If your boyfriend wants no part of it and still prioritizes video games over you, ask yourself if you want to be in that relationship.
Last But Not Least – Try To Get Involved
If you thought we were talking negatively about video games in this article, that’s not the case.
Playing video games is a hobby, like watching movies or reading books. However, it can become problematic when it negatively impacts one’s life and relationships.
Perhaps your boyfriend is not playing that much, but since you are not a fan of video games, you don’t understand why he spends any time on video games.
Why don’t you give games a chance and start gaming with your boyfriend? It could become a fun way for both of you to spend time together.
There are definitely some video games that you would like. You can take out your frustration on your boyfriend with a round of good old Mortal Kombat or beat him in classic Mario Kart races.
Spending time with your boyfriend while you both have a great time is a win-win combination! Maybe video games can help you with that.