As much as parenting is the most beautiful role in life, it is also the most difficult.
Some people get completely lost in this role, and they are not happy at all about becoming parents.
Such is the case with your husband.
Why doesn’t your husband like being a father? Because he is unprepared for the role, he feels enormous pressure and finds it difficult to sacrifice his own needs for someone else’s.
And how is it possible that he doesn’t like being a father? Isn’t that the most beautiful thing?
You love your child so much that you don’t understand how he doesn’t feel that too.
These thoughts bother you so much that you wonder if he will change or always stay like this.
This article will thoughtfully approach this topic and try to understand all sides as the issue is very complicated.
What are the signs that your husband does not like being a father? How should you act in that situation? These are the most important questions to which we will give answers.
Does Your Husband Not Like Being a Dad? 5 Signs
Telling someone he doesn’t like being a father is a harsh accusation, but your husband’s behavior indicates it.
Maybe your husband hasn’t told you this openly, but you feel it.
You feel he does not like being a father and has entirely changed since you became parents.
What are the signs that he does not like being a father:
1. He is Constantly Nervous and in a Bad Mood
The birth of a baby is a magical event, and everyone imagines it as a fairy tale, but in reality, it is a very stressful period.
The feeling that a small being depends entirely on him makes your husband nervous and scared.
We agree that it can scare some people, but parents get used to it over time.
With your husband, that period of adaptation is still going on.
Instead of becoming more relaxed with your child every day, he continues to act as nervous as he did when the baby was born.
He feels overwhelmed by new responsibilities and is too afraid of making mistakes.
In addition to having a baby you have to take care of all the time, you also have a husband who transmits his anxiety to you instead of relaxing and helping you.
2. He Believes He Has No Time For Anything Anymore
We are selfish because we love our time to ourselves too much.
Your husband frequently complains that he no longer has time for himself.
He doesn’t have time to watch games and go out with friends like before.
A child takes up too much time, but that time with a kid is more precious than anything else.
And when he manages to grab some time, he’s too tired to do anything.
3. He Thinks You’re Financially Ruined Because of The Baby
We don’t know what he thought before becoming a father, but babies don’t come cheap.
Neverending lack of diapers, picky babies who won’t eat any food, and clothes that constantly have to be bought because the baby is growing. It is all expensive.
Perhaps your husband was not one to care too much about material things, but now the situation has changed.
He keeps complaining about how financially ruined you are and how the baby is too expensive.
If you have had problems with money since the baby arrived, he calculates everything you buy and how much you spend.
Instead of complaining and whining, he should find a new job or other sources of income.
4. He is Always Finding Your Flaws
Your husband has also changed towards you since you became parents.
His whole attitude changed. He used to be kind and pleasant to you, but now he is entirely different.
Your husband constantly finds your faults and counts all the mistakes you make.
He also keeps asking you when you will start working again, or if you are a housewife, he pressures you to find a job.
It is highly insulting to you if he thinks you are lazy because you spend the whole day only with the child, as if child care is not a full-time job, especially when the kid is that young.
If he doesn’t care about you, he doesn’t care about the baby too.
You need love and support, not constant criticism and misunderstanding.
5. He Acts The Same He Did Before He Became a Father
Becoming parents does not mean that our whole personality should change.
You don’t need to have interests and hobbies, but you must organize them better.
We can no longer put ourselves and our needs first.
You are in a problem if your husband behaves the way he acted before the baby.
If he has to go out with his friends every weekend and play video games all day, you have an immature man next to you.
Maybe the new role in life scared him because he worries that he is old now.
He does all this to show how young he is still. That is some kind of middle age crisis.
He expects you to prepare him lunch on time, wash his clothes, and finish all the chores around the baby.
His only commitment is his job.
He may work hard and needs rest, but that does not mean he should neglect you and the child.
This can result from a bad upbringing and wrong examples from his parents.
If his father behaved that way, your husband thinks it’s normal for him to act like that.
That is why he is now a manchild who is not well prepared for life by his parents.
What Should You Do When You Think Your Husband Doesn’t Like Being a Dad?
We know this thought hurts you, and want to lash out at him, but you should handle this situation differently.
Follow these steps:
1. Talk to Him
A quality conversation is the beginning of a solution to any problem.
It would be best if you told him how his behavior affects you.
Ask him: “Do you like being a dad at all”?
He will probably say that he loves being a dad, and that was a stupid question from you.
Your answer to that should be: “Prove it.”
Explain to him that you want the best for your child, for him to grow into a quality person, and that you need his help.
2. Explain to Him What You Expect From Him
You must explain everything to him directly and precisely for a change to occur.
We don’t know what the dynamic was like in your house before the baby. Did he avoid all household duties before?
Do you always have to remind him what he should do around the house? But you are used to doing everything yourself because he never does what he says he will do.
In any case, you have to explain that he is not a guest in his house.
Arrange the responsibilities so that he is included.
In addition to the fact that your husband should not be a guest in your house, he should not be a random person in your child’s life.
He is a father and should actively participate in raising his child.
3. Encourage Him
We know it annoys you, but you must encourage him a little if he deserves it.
When the baby starts to cry, parents often panic at the beginning and start arguing with each other.
Please don’t be too hard on him.
Your husband will show signs that he likes being a father and improves in that role over time.
He should be involved as much as possible in activities with the child.
Let him change the baby’s diapers and drive the baby in a stroller. All this will awaken his paternal instinct.
4. Think About The Future With Your Husband
We know this sounds alarming, but where do you see yourself with that man in the future?
Parenting is a challenging but wonderful life adventure, and it is clear that you want a stable partner by your side.
The fact that he doesn’t like being a father can and will seriously disrupt your relationship.
You expect him to love that little child, but he is too self-centered and irresponsible.
These are problems for couples who are not parents, and the problem is even more significant since you two are parents.
You can also try couples therapy as a potential solution.
To Sum Things Up
“Unluckiest are those children who have a father but do not receive his love.”
If you think he’s going to change and be a super dad in the future, that’s great.
We sincerely hope that it will be so and that your husband will learn to enjoy the most beautiful role in life.
But if you don’t see that he can change, don’t think twice when it comes to your child’s future.