Isn’t it annoying when someone close to you talks too much? The type of person who never shuts up.
The problem is not only that they talk too much, but also what they talk about. What they say can be boring or even offensive to you.
And what if that person is your mother, whom you love, but you often wonder why she has to talk so much all the time.
Why does your mother talk too much? Because she is insecure or anxious, or maybe she is bored, because she is too social, or in the worst case scenario, she is a narcissist.
Although you are expected to respect and listen to what your mother says, what if she doesn’t respect you?
In that case, there are some firm boundaries that you need to set because there is no need to feel exhausted after every conversation with your mother.
Clear boundaries can be the savior of your relationship with your mother.
In this article, we will better explain why your mother is overly talkative, but we will also help with practical advice on how to deal with her.
What are The Reasons Behind Your Mom’s Talkativeness? 5 Frequent Reasons
You must have wondered why your mother is so talkative. Behind her need to talk too much can actually be hidden very complicated reasons, which can be:
1. Your Mother Is Too Social
What if your mother is a social person who loves talking to others?
Unlike you, who is more introverted, your mother is a complete extrovert.
Your mother needs to be surrounded by people non-stop and talk to them because that gives her energy. It’s a nightmare for you because it drains your energy.
You do not like such small talks, especially those where nothing special is said.
As far as conversation is concerned, you are guided by “less is more,” which means that you like clear and concise discussions, not those that drag on.
Explain that to your mother, who can talk all day about some random thing that happened to her.
2. Your Mother Overshares
What does oversharing mean? These are some private things that a mother should never talk about with her child.
These can be highly uncomfortable topics, but your mother has no boundaries and tells you everything, even if you don’t want to hear it.
It is even possible that your mother overshares your privacy with others.
You like to keep your private things private, but your mother doesn’t know how to keep quiet and has to tell everyone about what you do.
What annoys you is when your relatives or friends know things about you that you haven’t told them. Since you know how your mother doesn’t respect your privacy and overshares things, it’s no wonder you feel like your mother is talking behind your back.
Your mother may interfere in your life too much. For example, she constantly criticizes your husband.
3. Your Mother Feels Neglected and Lonely
Unfortunately, excessive talking can also hide such issues.
In this case, your mother’s excessive talkativeness is actually her way of making it known that she feels lonely and forgotten.
This can be an example if you no longer live with your mother, moved out of the family home a long time ago, and now you rarely see your mother.
Understand that this can be extremely difficult for her, so don’t be surprised if she keeps calling you to talk.
You may wonder how often you should talk to your mother on the phone because it seems to you that you talk too often.
4. Your Mother Feels Stressed or Overwhelmed
Your mother may be going through some issues that make her highly anxious, nervous, and stressed.
Talking can be a coping mechanism for people feeling stressed or overwhelmed, and your mom may be using it to soothe herself.
If your mother is always talking about her problems, it can negatively affect you because you can feel guilty if you don’t know how to help her.
Even if she doesn’t talk about what’s really bothering her, this is her way of dealing with problems.
This is similar to when some people feel the worst; they decide to laugh and push their problems away. Your mother chose to divert the focus from the issues she is going through by talking.
5. Your Mother Is a Narcissist
What is the main characteristic of a narcissist? They love to talk about themselves.
Your mother can talk about herself all day and expects you to be her loyal audience.
She has no problem acting immaturely and making a scene to be the center of attention.
There is always some drama about her; sometimes, you feel like your narcissist won’t leave you alone.
Narcissistic mothers know how to use various manipulative methods to maintain control over their children. When you tell her you don’t have time to talk to her, she says, “I gave birth to you and raised you, and now you don’t have time for me.”
This is a form of direct blaming and manipulation.
6. Your Mother Likes to Argue With You
The problem is not that she talks a lot, but what she says.
You and your mother are two different worlds with entirely different views.
If you don’t know how to reconcile your differences and communicate politely despite different opinions, there will be a lot of heated arguments.
It really annoys you that your mother constantly criticizes you and your lifestyle. Your mother constantly talks negatively about important things in your life, such as your job, career, marriage, and the way you raise your children.
Everything you do is a target of criticism for her. It makes you feel like you can’t talk to her about anything.
How to Deal With Overly Talkative Mom? 5 Major Tips
Having a mom who loves to talk can be both a blessing and a curse.
It’s great to have a mother who likes to talk to you, but it’s not good when she talks too much and bothers you. This clearly shows that communication between you and your mother can improve.
Here’s how to do it:
1. Respect The Differences Between You and Your Mother
Your mother is social; you are inverted. She likes to talk a lot, you don’t.
Do you have different thoughts on specific topics? Well, it’s not so rare that children and parents don’t agree on everything.
You are a completely different generation, and you can’t expect your mother to think like you.
It is important that there is mutual respect, and it is possible to establish it.
2. Set Firm Boundaries
It is one thing to respect different opinions, and another is to disrespect the interlocutor, in this case, you.
You have to make it clear to your mother what topics are off-limits.
She is your mother and wants to interfere in your life, but you are an adult who can clearly determine what can and cannot be discussed.
And don’t feel like you’re spoiled just because you don’t want your mother to discuss specific topics. If something hurts and bothers you, your mother should understand that she should avoid it in conversation.
Remember to avoid getting carried away with this. Avoid confrontational or aggressive language when setting boundaries and use firm but kind speech instead.
3. Avoid Certain Topics
Just as your mother should avoid certain topics, it would be best if you did too.
Yes, it’s totally okay if you don’t tell your mother everything.
This may seem like a temporary solution, but sometimes it is impossible to have everything perfect in the relationship with the parents, so why add unnecessary fuel to the fire if it can be avoided.
Don’t think that not telling your mother everything will disrupt your relationship. It may be the opposite.
4. Let Your Mother Know Your Time Schedule
This may sound too harsh on your mother, but sometimes you must tell her when you are free to talk and when you don’t have time.
You can’t stop working just to talk about her flowers; that makes no sense.
Arrange a time during the day or week when you talk about everything, and try to stick to it.
5. Don’t Neglect Your Mother
You’re not a child anymore, you don’t live with your parents, maybe you’ve even moved away from your parents, and you don’t see each other often.
We understand you are busy with work and obligations, but don’t forget about your mother, especially if she is older and needs someone to listen to and talk to her.
Even though she is just talking about the past, listen to her. She deserves it, and help her if she needs help. That’s your responsibility, after all.
It is well known that effective communication is a two-way street.
You need to understand your mother and why she is overly talkative, but also let her know that it can sometimes bother you.
By implementing the tips mentioned in this article, we guarantee that you will succeed in that goal.