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My Boyfriend is Unemployed and Depressed – How to Help Him?

Life has many ups and downs, and losing a job is one of those downfalls that can be very painful. Even those with the most secure employment and many skills can suddenly find themselves unemployed.

Due to these events, the individual experiences various negative emotions, including anger, self-doubt, anxiety about the future, and depression related to their current circumstances.

This is precisely what is happening to your boyfriend, who has not had a job for some time and has fallen into a negative cycle of depression.

How to help your boyfriend, who is unemployed and depressed? Start by comprehending the root cause of his depression, offering validation and encouragement, assisting him in locating job opportunities, and, if necessary, suggesting he seek professional help.

Partner Changed After Marriage

This mental state of your boyfriend can really affect your relationship and how he treats you. Have you already thought, “My boyfriend lost his job and is pushing me away?”

The goal of this article is to better understand the reasons for your boyfriend’s unemployed depression, as well as to find out the best ways you can help him.

What are the Main Reasons Your Boyfriend is Depressed Because of His Unemployment?

Unemployment and depression are frequently intertwined, to the point that there exists a specific condition known as unemployment depression.

Losing a job can be emotionally and psychologically distressing, leading to this type of depression, also known as job loss depression.

According to a 2021 Pew Research Center survey, around 56% of unemployed people report experiencing increased emotional or mental health conditions, such as depression and anxiety.

It’s a common experience that triggers feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and low self-esteem.

The causes of unemployment depression can vary from person to person, but some of the common triggers include:

1. Financial Struggles

Financial hardship is commonly the foremost concern for individuals who experience unemployment.

Although this sounds superficial, it is logical and makes sense. The cost of living is already high, with mandatory expenses like rent, bills, and groceries requiring constant money flow.

Your boyfriend no longer has a job, but what if he has no savings? Then the pressure is even more tremendous on how to cope with this situation.

If he is used to spending a lot and is too focused on material things, this can further frustrate him because it disrupts his lifestyle.

2. Loss of Identity and Purpose

How often have you heard someone is depressed and hates their job? Probably too many times.

However, some tie their entire identity to their work.

It is natural for someone who has dedicated their entire life to a job they love to be completely thrown off track when they lose it.

Your boyfriend likely feels a sense of loss and confusion after losing the job he was deeply passionate about, which had become a core part of his identity.

3. Feeling of Shame and Social Isolation

It is not uncommon for many to experience unemployment as something to be ashamed of.

Let’s be honest; in today’s world, everyone talks too much about their jobs anyway. Whether bragging about high earnings or complaining about bosses, it seems to be the go-to subject for many people.

Since your boyfriend doesn’t have a job right now, he feels like an alien in such an environment. He may even encounter judgmental comments, especially from his parents or friends.

All this leads to a desire for social isolation, further aggravating depressive feelings.

4. Lack of Routine and Structure

It is quite common for people to structure their entire day around their work responsibilities.

Losing his job has totally destroyed your boyfriend’s daily routine and structure.

The lack of commitment has affected him, so he has no organization in his daily duties. Although his days pass without any fulfillment, it is difficult for him to establish any order in his life since he does not have a job.

You notice that he sleeps all day, and getting out of bed is hard.

This is because he is probably up all night and can’t sleep because of negative thoughts.

5. Negative Self-Talk and Feelings of Worthlessness

Is it already getting hard to listen to your boyfriend complaining about how he hates the whole world because he lost his job?

Job loss and depression are two things that can easily send anyone into a spiral of negative self-talk. That’s why your boyfriend feels like a complete failure.

Your boyfriend is thinking about how he didn’t work well enough and how that job was also bad, but he couldn’t find a better one. He could also struggle with questions like, “What is my purpose in life?” or “What am I doing with my life?”

6. Fear of Rejection

The job search process can be daunting, and repeated rejections can take a toll on one’s self-confidence.

Your boyfriend is scared of the enormous competition for every job today.

The competition seems brutal; everyone is an expert in everything, and they have impressive CVs and perfect smiles on their LinkedIn profile pictures.

This further feeds your boyfriend’s unemployed depression because he has no motivation to look for a new job when he has such competition against him.

How Does Unemployment Depression Affect Romantic Relationships?

Dealing with a partner’s unemployment and depression can be challenging.

Unemployment and depression can seriously impact romantic relationships. 

When one partner is unemployed, they may feel ashamed, frustrated, and inadequate, leading to feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness. 

These emotions often result in a lack of motivation, irritability, and mood swings, making managing their partner challenging. Of course, arguments will be more frequent in this period.

One’s sex drive may be impacted by depression, potentially resulting in decreased intimacy.

How To Help Your Boyfriend Who Is Unemployed and Depressed? 4 Essential Tips

As soon as you read this, it is clear that you care about your boyfriend and want to help him get out of this challenging period.

Also, you care about yourself and your relationship because your boyfriend’s behavior threatens to seriously damage your relationship.

Here’s what you need to do:

1. Show Understanding

You must not criticize your boyfriend’s feelings in this situation. Try to understand his perspective and validate his feelings.

Job loss and depression affect everyone in their own way. Maybe your boyfriend isn’t financially threatened, but that doesn’t mean he won’t feel worthless and unfulfilled because he doesn’t have a job.

To effectively address the impact of unemployment on your relationship, it is crucial to express your feelings and needs to your boyfriend. 

Respectfully communicate how his joblessness affects you and work together to find solutions that benefit both of you. Honesty is key in this discussion.

2. Provide Emotional Support

Unemployment can significantly blow a person’s self-esteem and mental health. Your boyfriend may be feeling down, anxious, or hopeless. It’s crucial to provide emotional support during this time.

Yes, your boyfriend doesn’t have a job, but that doesn’t mean he should fall out of every routine because he thinks he’s worthless and doesn’t deserve anything.

Encourage him to care for himself by eating well, exercising, and getting enough sleep. Plan fun activities together to help him stay positive and engaged. 

Remind him of his qualities, and let him know that you believe in him and his ability to find a job.

3. Help Him in Job Search

Finding a job should be seen as a full-time job in itself. Your boyfriend may need help finding where and how to look for a job.

Offer your boyfriend help to find a job by giving him useful tips on improving his CV or preparing for interviews with employers.

If your boyfriend lacks the skills required for his desired job, don’t worry. There are numerous online courses and workshops available that can help him attain additional certifications and enhance his abilities

Keep in mind that certificates are cool to have, but it is all about skills in today’s job market.

4. Encourage Professional Help

Dealing with depression is not easy, and it does not mean everyone can overcome it with a few lifestyle changes.

It is possible for the situation to worsen and for your boyfriend to seek comfort in substance abuse. For example, he starts drinking too much because of his situation and completely forgets about everything, including you.

If you have noticed no progress in your boyfriend’s well-being, it is time to advise him to seek professional help.

A qualified therapist can provide coping strategies and tools to manage his mental health.

To Wrap it All Up,

Your boyfriend is going through a tough time, but you’re here to help him.

The most important thing is to show understanding, encourage him to keep a daily routine, help him find a new job, and ultimately overcome that discomforting unemployment depression.

Showing support for your boyfriend during tough times enhances your relationship. When he lands a job that brings him pleasure, you’ll both reflect on this period as a time that brought you closer together.