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Why Does My Husband Blame Me For Our Child’s Behavior?

While being a parent is a beautiful role, it can also be challenging and demanding.

A child’s life depends on the parent, and it is up to the parent to make that little child grow into a responsible adult.

This process is not easy, and mutual support and understanding from both parents along the way is essential. When parents are on the same page regarding parenting, everything goes more smoothly.

Unfortunately, you and your husband disagree on certain issues about your child’s upbringing. Therefore your husband blames you for all the problems with your child that appear from your disagreement.

Why does your husband blame you for your child’s behavior? The main reason is that you and your husband have different parenting styles, but this could also be a sign that your husband is being irresponsible and shifting the blame onto you.

husband blames woman

You are in a complicated situation because, like any mother, it hurts you the most when someone blames you for your child’s behavior.

It can be excruciating when your husband, who you expect to be your main source of support, blames you for something.

The purpose of this article is to provide a detailed explanation of your husband’s behavior and offer potential solutions for your current situation.

3 Probable Reasons Why Your Husband Blames You for Your Child’s Behavior?

In addition to all the challenges that parenthood brings, you must deal with a husband who always finds fault with how you raise your child.

And not only that, every failure and misbehavior of your child is, by default, your fault.

What are the reasons for this behavior of your husband:

1. Different Parenting Styles

Well, we must agree that this is the main reason for parents’ disagreement in parenting.

Raising a child can bring new challenges to any couple, even if they had a great relationship before becoming parents. It’s important to be prepared for potential difficulties that may arise.

We don’t want to rely too heavily on stereotypes, but we can use two common examples to illustrate how different parenting styles can display.

Your Husband Thinks You Are Too Strict With Your Child

You are a stricter mom, but it’s all for the greater good of your child.

As far as you are concerned, the child must go to various sections after school to get additional education.

You are probably too competitive with other parents who force their children to be the best in everything.

Your husband, on the other hand, has a more relaxed approach to parenting. His motto is “Let kids be kids.”

He does not pressure your child to achieve high grades and is satisfied with the current situation.

While you are the stricter parent, your husband is the fun dad that the child adores. Everything you forbid your child, your husband allows them.

So what does your husband blame you for in this case? He blames you for being too strict and controlling towards the child. That’s why they might not enjoy their childhood because of all those obligations you imposed on them.

Your Husband Is Too Strict With Your Child

Here we have the exact opposite example. Your husband is the one who is too strict with the child.

It doesn’t even mean you are too tolerant with the kid, but your husband goes overboard in his attempts to impose strict discipline on them.

He is convinced that tough love toward children will make them responsible adults.

This type of father tends to be reserved with their emotions but can be harsh with criticism.

Your husband’s parenting style is often influenced by how he was raised by his parents. As a result, he may choose to raise his children similarly.

You disagree because you think children need love and understanding, not just discipline.

What does your husband blame you for in this case? He believes children will be unprepared for life if you spoil them too much and give them everything they want. We hope he refrains from terms such as “spoiled brat” and similar expressions.

2. Your Husband Is Immature

Do you know what the characteristic of immature people is? To put the blame on others.

Immature people often struggle with taking responsibility and tend to shift the blame onto others.

Marriage with an immature man can be challenging, and it becomes even more complicated when such a man becomes a parent.

When you think back, your husband wasn’t too excited when he found out he was going to be a father. He appeared preoccupied with his interests and immediately considered how this would interfere with his plans.

Even though you think he loves your child, you don’t think he’s exactly dad material.

Your husband continued to behave immaturely and irresponsibly. He expects you to be okay with staying up all night with the kid while he goes out. What does he think? That he is still in high school?

In addition to having a child to raise, you also have your man-child husband, who makes your situation even more difficult.

Your husband even gets angry at you when your child misbehaves. He should really be asking himself what kind of example he is setting for his child when he sits on the couch and plays video games all day.

3. Your Husband Blames You For Everything

It’s not just about your child’s behavior.

Your husband holds you responsible for every negative aspect of your marriage, ranging from burnt lunches to financial difficulties.

If your husband constantly blames you and picks fights with you, it is clear that the atmosphere in your marriage is not good.

The reasons for this behavior of your husband can be different; here are some common ones:

  • Narcissism – If your husband has narcissistic tendencies, it is not surprising that he blames others for everything.
  • Perfectionism – Being married to a perfectionist can be highly tiring because whatever you do, according to him, is not good enough and can be better, even things regarding your child.
  • Defensiveness – It is a known fact that individuals who are insecure and keep secrets tend to become defensive quickly.
  • Resentment – Unresolved emotions can build up over time and cause arguments and blame between spouses.

What Should You Do When Your Husband Blames You for Your Child’s Behavior?

Instead of enjoying parenthood together and overcoming all the difficulties that come with it, your husband constantly finds fault with you and makes you feel like a bad parent.

It’s time for him to stop. Here’s what you should do:

1. Have an Open and Honest Communication

This blaming by your husband hurts you tremendously, especially regarding your child, and that’s where you are most sensitive.

Discuss parenting strategies and concerns.

As a parent, finding the right approach can be challenging. Being overly strict or allowing a child to have complete control is not ideal. It’s essential to find a balance between the two extremes.

Respect each other’s opinions and work together to find common ground.

You can build a stronger foundation for addressing your child’s behavior by actively listening and seeking to understand one another’s perspectives.

2. Ask Your Husband to be More Involved With Your Child

This is especially necessary if you are the one who spends more time with the child and you make most of the decisions yourself.

Your husband thinks that taking care of the child is easy, but going to work every day and working is hard. Basically, it’s hard for him and not for you; that’s his logic.

It’s easy to be criticized by someone who isn’t present enough. You need your husband to get involved more.

Instead of finding fault with your parenting, your husband should be a more present and responsible parent.

3. Work On Your Marriage

Blame games in marriage are not healthy.

Whether your husband only scolds you about your child’s behavior but also about other things, this is something you should not tolerate.

This can significantly affect your self-confidence and well-being, and in more extreme cases, it can lead to abuse.

It is better to stop that behavior of your husband in time. Let your husband know it’s possible to discuss your disagreements and come up with a solution together without resorting to blame or harsh language.

husband who cares about your feelings will get the message and work to change his approach.

Most Importantly – You and Your Husband Are a Team

When you become a parent, you don’t get instructions on caring for your child. Of course, you can educate yourself in various ways about parenting, which is a great thing, but you must remember that all children are different.

Parenthood is a journey filled with joy, love, and growth but it can also bring its fair share of challenges.

Parents sometimes disagree about their child’s upbringing but must maintain a positive attitude and respect each other.

Remind your husband that you have the same goal: your child’s well-being.

Let your husband replace blaming with love, understanding, and support. That would be perfect.