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How Long Does it Take to Lose Feelings for Someone? How to Move On?

Everyone talks about falling in love, but what about falling out of love?

Of course, it is much better to be in love because it is one of the most beautiful feelings, but what if love ends? Then it is necessary to dispel all those butterflies from the stomach, heal the emotional wounds and move on. But it takes a lot of work.

This is how you feel because you wonder how long it will take you to get over your ex and move on.

How long does it take to lose feelings for someone? It primarily depends on the length and intensity of the relationship, the reason for the breakup, your coping mechanism, and your general mindset.

depressed woman

We know you want us to tell you the exact time to get over your ex, but unfortunately, we can’t tell you that.

Love is not math. There is no exact mathematical formula that will determine the precise time it will take to lose feelings for someone.

But in this article, we will explain what affects the length of the healing process and how to best approach this situation.

What Factors Influence How Long It Will Take You to Lose Feelings for Someone?

There’s a common belief that it takes half the duration of a relationship to move on after a breakup. For instance, if you dated someone for two years, it’s assumed that it would take you a year to recover. 

However, we acknowledge that everyone is unique and handles their feelings in their own way

These are the factors you should keep in mind:

1. The Length of The Relationship

This is the most logical reason.

The longer you are in a relationship with someone, the longer it will take you to get over them.

This is because it is normal to bond more with someone the more time you spend together.

However, you don’t just regret that the relationship broke up. You also regret all the memories, experiences, and mutual plans that will not happen… The longer the relationship lasted, the more history there was.

But it’s also very possible that you regret the time you “wasted” while you were in that relationship.

You feel like you made a mistake and wasted time in that relationship because you missed various opportunities.

Someone else caught your attention during that time, but you rejected them because you were committed to the relationship. That person now seems to you as if they were a much better choice than your ex.

Also, maybe you didn’t accept a business opportunity because of a previous relationship.

In any case, now you are angry at yourself because you wasted time and opportunities on something that is now over.

2. The Intensity of The Relationship

Of course, the intensity of the relationship will depend on how much time you spend with someone, but it doesn’t necessarily mean.

Some people spend a lot of time in a relationship but don’t seem to have that much love and connection and end up breaking up easily.

Was your former relationship very intense, full of passion and love? Everything went fast, and you feel like you speedrun through that relationship.

The previous relationship happened quickly and intensely, but unfortunately, the love also burned out quickly.

Although some of your previous relationships were longer, you were the most in love in this one, even though you spent less time with that person.

3. The Reason for The Breakup

There could be various reasons why your previous relationship came to an end.

Sometimes, a breakup is the natural outcome of a relationship that isn’t working well. It’s possible for partners to drift apart, have different goals, and for their love to decrease over time.

But often, a lot of bitterness remains after a breakup.

“What could have been different?” 

“Who is to blame for the breakup?”

If the breakup occurred due to the partner’s cheating, the feeling of betrayal is inevitable. Therefore, healing emotional wounds may take longer, and it is harder to have trust in a new relationship.

Even if you are the one who cheated in the relationship and thus ruined it, you may be tormented by a lot of regret and questions about why you made such a reckless move.

Messy breakups that involve cheating and other hurtful behaviors require more time to process and let go of those feelings.

4. Your Coping Mechanism

After a breakup, we are often left hurt, and we want to fill that empty void within us.

Many then decide to fill it with poor coping mechanisms.

Of course, some behaviors easily lead to addiction, such as substance abuse, excessive drinking or doing drugs, gambling, promiscuous behavior…

It’s also wrong to quickly jump into a new relationship, even though you’re not ready for it after a breakup. You want to replace your old partner with a new one as soon as possible, so you fall into meaningless relationships that make you feel even more empty.

Let’s not forget social networks because they are now a part of every relationship and breakup. You won’t make a good impression if you vent about your ex-partner on social media. You’ll come off as desperate if you use stupid jokes to slide into the DMs of every person you like on Instagram.

Also, stalking your ex on social media should not become your hobby.

Your coping mechanism is part of your overall mindset. If you are a positive person looking at this as a significant experience, you will handle the breakup faster and easier.

However, the healing process will take much longer if you hate the whole world after a breakup. You may even never even fully recover from it.

How to Lose Feelings Towards Someone and Move On?

It would be easy if we just had a switch in our brains and just turned off our feelings for someone who doesn’t deserve it. But it is much more complicated.

What should you not do:

Don’t Engage In Poor Coping Mechanisms

Attending a party and having fun after ending a relationship is completely acceptable. Additionally, there’s nothing wrong with getting to know someone new who catches your interest.

Yet, it is terrible to exaggerate in reckless behavior, which can give you quick instant pleasure but cause you much more significant consequences in the long run.

Therefore, avoid reckless drinking, gambling, and changing partners every night.

And on social networks, keep at least some dignity. No one will think you’re cool showing you’re over your ex. Everyone will see it as a desperate move.

Don’t Look for Emotional Replacement in a New Relationship

Are you an overly attached person in a relationship? When you are in a relationship, your whole world revolves around that person, and it seems there is nothing else in your life but them.

We have to tell you right away that this is the wrong approach. Being too emotionally dependent on your partner can take its toll on your self-esteem.

You think a new relationship will help you regain control, but it won’t. In addition to the high probability that you will not immediately run into a partner who is ideal relationship material, you can drive away someone who actually is.

Your overly attached behavior will drive them away quickly, especially if they realize that they are serving as a replacement for your ex.

Don’t let past relationships ruin new ones.

What should you do instead:

Understand That it Takes Time

“Time heals all wounds.”

Don’t set goals for when you will get over your ex or enter a new relationship.

In this way, you will only burden yourself, so let time do its job and don’t stress yourself.

Reevaluate The Previous Relationship

This reevaluation is not done to make you sad but to learn from it.

Can you identify what caused the breakup in your previous relationship? Are both you and your partner equally responsible for it?

We are not saying that your previous partner is not to blame, but don’t immediately put all the blame on them.

In particular, consider whether there are repeating patterns in your relationships. For example, if all your relationships end after a short time. At least some of your behavior may be the cause of this.

Practice Self Care and Self Improvement

We finally come to the most important thing you should do.

The best thing to do is to forget about someone and let your feelings for them fade away by devoting yourself to yourself.

The possibilities for that are endless. You can return to an old hobby you love, learn a new skill, travel to places you’ve only dreamed of, or learn to play a new instrument.

Remember to surround yourself with family and friends in the process. In fact, to all those in whose presence you feel comfortable.

Anything that will help you escape the lousy mindset that you can’t be happy after your previous relationship.

The Bottom Line

There is no precise way to determine the amount of time it takes to move on from someone emotionally.

It depends on many factors, but your attitude towards it is much more important.

Don’t look at that time as wasted. It’s all part of your experience that you had to go through to become who you are today.

Therefore, smile instead of regretting the times that have already passed. We are sure that someone new will appear who deserves your feelings more.