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My Husband Loves Our Daughter More Than Me: What Should I Do?

It is completely normal that for every parent, their child comes first, and they love him the most.

Usually, the child comes first, followed by the spouse.

However, it seems to you that your daughter is in the first place for your husband, but then there is a vast space when it comes to love for you. It seems your husband doesn’t love you anymore and has redirected all that love to your daughter.

Why do you think your husband loves your daughter more than you? It seems your husband is giving all his attention to your daughter, and you feel neglected.

man and daughter love

You’re probably feeling selfish right now. You wonder what kind of mother you are when it bothers you that your husband loves your daughter the most, which is normal and should be like that.

What is bothering you is whether a bit of love is left for you and whether the relationship between you and your husband will return to how it was before.

This is precisely the topic of this article.

Why Do You Think Your Husband Loves Your Daughter More Than You?

As a mother and wife, it can be difficult to cope with the feeling of no longer being the center of your husband’s world.

You don’t want to feel like the worst person in the world for jealousy of your daughter, but some things bother you. And those are:

Are You No Longer Your Husband’s Number One Priority?

When a child comes into a couple’s life, it is logical that many things change. Of course, in the first years of a child’s life, it will be the absolute highest priority, but over time the child becomes more and more his own person and should be allowed to be independent.

As parents, it’s important to remember that you and your partner are a couple, not just caregivers of your child. The responsibilities of raising a child can cause distance between you both. But that’s precisely what happened.

You and your husband have lost that magic of your relationship that you had before and devoted all your attention to the child.

Only you notice that, but your husband doesn’t because you are no longer his priority.

Over time, as your daughter grew, that question of priorities should have balanced out, but it didn’t.

That’s why you feel like a random character in your husband’s life.

Is Your Husband Always On Your Daughter’s Side?

An argument happens in your family, especially between you and your daughter; whose side will your husband take? Of course, not yours.

It’s not a good thing that your husband belittles you in front of your daughter, as it can have a negative impact on her upbringing. Parents need to be on the same page regarding their children, and it’s best to resolve their disagreements privately.

The dynamic in your family is set up so that you are that annoying, criticizing mother while your husband is the fun dad to your daughter.

It’s frustrating when you’re seen as the bad guy for trying to be responsible and looking out for your daughter’s best interests, while your husband, on the other hand, spoils your daughter.

You think it is inappropriate for your daughter to be spoiled, but your husband does not help you.

Maybe your daughter is already an adult, it’s logical for her to look for a job and move out of her parent’s house, but your husband doesn’t want that to happen.

When you say something to your daughter that may sound cruel but is good for her, she accuses you of not caring about her.

What Should You Consider if Your Husband Loves Your Daughter More Than You?

Before jumping to conclusions that your husband has shifted all his love to your daughter while he no longer loves you as much as before, you must consider the following:

1. The Big Difference Between Parental Love and Love For a Partner

Parental love is unconditional and immeasurable.

The love a parent feels for their child is distinct from the love they feel for their partner.

As a parent, you have an all-encompassing and unconditional love for your child. This love is different from your love for your partner, which can be more complex and change over time. 

It’s essential to keep in mind that even if your husband’s love for your daughter appears stronger at times, it doesn’t mean he loves you any less.

2. You and Your Husband Need to Be on the Same Page About Raising Your Daughter

It’s not fair for you to be the strict parent and for your husband to be the fun dad that your daughter prefers.

While you are raising your daughter to grow into a mature adult, your husband is undoing it by spoiling her.

This can’t be good for anyone because your husband is creating a conflict between you and your daughter away from you like this. Therefore, you must talk to your husband about the bad effects of his attitude toward his daughter.

He may not have realized how his actions affected you, and an open and honest conversation can help him understand your perspective.

3. Understanding The Dynamics of Your Marriage

If the relationship between you and your husband is broken, it is no wonder that it may seem to you that he loves your daughter more than you.

Do you know what a broken relationship means? It means that while you’re doing great as parents, you’re not doing well as a couple.

When was the last time you went out and gave each other gifts?

Is celebrating anniversaries or holidays a thing of the past for you? All of this is mainly because your husband is not interested. However, you have also lost interest over time.

What is needed is to improve your marriage because you are not only parents but also husband and wife.

Two essential tips for that are:

Communicate your feelings with your husband 

Having open and honest communication with your husband regarding your feelings is crucial. Express to him what needs to change in your marriage to have a relationship like before.

Focus on strengthening your own relationship with your husband

Discover ways to enjoy quality time with your husband, such as going on a date night or taking a weekend trip. Creating a strong bond can increase your sense of security in your relationship.

Most Importantly,

“The best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother”

– Theodore Hesburgh

Don’t be jealous if your husband shows more love towards your daughter. Talk to him openly about your needs and the importance of being a good partner and a great parent.

When a family has love and understanding, they can achieve anything together.