Sibling relationship dynamics can often be very complicated.
Even though there is love; unfortunately, conflicts, misunderstandings, and rivalry can still occur.
However, those issues can intensify further when a third party is involved due to their influence.
That third person, in this case, is your brother’s wife, your sister-in-law.
Why doesn’t your brother want to talk to you because of his wife? Because she’s too jealous of your relationship with your brother and wants to push you away, but it’s possible that the situation is more complicated, and you’re also partly to blame for your brother having no contact with you.
Do you ever think about how close you and your brother used to be? You could always count on each other and believed that your bond would never fade.
But everything changed when your brother got married. He is an entirely different person now.
This situation is highly complex because you love your brother and want things to be like before, but you have a huge obstacle: his wife.
Should you talk to your brother about divorcing his spouse because you don’t think they’re a good match? This article will provide some guidance on how to approach the situation. Keep reading to learn more.
4 Possible Reasons Why Your Brother Doesn’t Want to Talk to You Because of His Wife
This whole situation is painful and confusing for you.
It hurts because you miss your brother and want everything to be like before. Now your brother never calls you anymore, and you are confused what’s the reason for this. Did you do something? Or is it just your sister-in-law’s malice?
These reasons will help you better understand what is really going on:
1. Your Sister-In-Law is Jealous of Your Relationship With Your Brother
How was your relationship with your brother before marriage? Do you both have a close bond and share everything with one another?
If so, it can be highly annoying to his wife, especially if she is generally jealous and possessive.
It’s not uncommon for women to be jealous in marriage, but isn’t this unreasonable? We’re talking about your brother here, after all.
This is a special kind of jealousy because your sister-in-law is afraid that she is not in the first place for her husband, your brother.
She doesn’t want you to be his first choice to tell the happy news or complain when he has a problem.
Also, she doesn’t want him to spend more time with you than with her. And it annoys her the most when her husband is on your side instead of hers.
Is this all true, and does she have the right to be this jealous?
It’s important to acknowledge the possibility that your sister-in-law may not have any valid reason to feel jealous of your relationship with your brother.
However, if she struggles with insecurities and tends to be overly possessive and controlling, it’s understandable why she might try to manipulate her husband into causing conflict between you two.
2. Your Sister-in-Law Thinks You’re Taking Advantage of Your Brother
It’s good that your sister-in-law is protective of her husband, your brother, but should she defend him from you?
She concluded that you are just taking advantage of your brother and calling him only when you need something, and you don’t care about his feelings at all.
According to your sister-in-law, your brother is a good person and easily manipulated by you, but she won’t allow that anymore.
Is there any truth to this? You know that best.
If you only remember your brother when you need money for a loan or help to renovate the house, but when he needs help, you are MIA; maybe your sister-in-law is right.
3. Your Sister-in-Law Thinks You Are A Bad Influence On Her Husband
Negative influence, what does it mean?
Your brother’s wife believes that your actions negatively affect her spouse.
Maybe you are encouraging him to his bad habits, such as drink or gambling. His wife is trying desperately to eradicate it from him, but here you are to bring him back to his old ways.
Also, what if it’s a rivalry between the two of you? Sibling rivalry is not rare.
If you are more successful than your brother in something and don’t hesitate to let him know, you may arouse feelings of jealousy and envy in him.
Your sister-in-law worries about her husband’s mental health and doesn’t want you to be close anymore.
4. Your Sister-in-Law Simply Doesn’t Like You
There are various possible reasons why your brother’s wife can’t stand you.
It’s possible that she dislikes your entire family and views all of you as a negative presence in her husband’s life. What if, besides you, she has to fight against her mother-in-law, who is overly attached to her son.
She may have a reason to dislike you because you were against your brother’s relationship with her.
You probably talked about how she is not the right one for him. Therefore she created animosity towards you.
And maybe it’s because you simply can’t find a common language.
There were arguments whenever you hung out with your brother and his wife. What kind of arguments precisely? Well, about everything, politics, sports, music, different opinions regarding social issues. You don’t seem to agree on anything with your brother’s wife.
How to Improve The Relationship With Your Brother and His Wife?
You are put in a tough situation because inappropriate statements can only increase the separation between you and your brother.
Here’s what you need to do:
1. Accept That Things Have Changed
You miss those simpler times when it was just you and your brother, and no one interfered in your relationship.
We know this is sometimes the hardest thing to accept, especially if you are nostalgic, but it is necessary.
When your brother gets married, it’s natural for your relationship to change. However, it’s important to continue nurturing a positive sibling relationship.
It is a common occurrence in life for individuals to prioritize their spouse above all else, and your brother is currently doing so.
However, this should not mean that he should end every contract with you because he got married.
2. Reevaluate Your Behavior
You have to start with yourself first.
Was your behavior rude to your brother’s wife? Hey, if you were against his marriage from the beginning, you can’t really expect her to like you now.
Also, were you to blame for any quarrel with your brother? Maybe you were actually a bad influence on him.
Do you overdo it at family gatherings and make everyone feel uncomfortable?
And most importantly, did you interfere too much in your brother’s marriage? Know that no woman will put up with that.
Have you considered that your sister-in-law may not be the source of negativity towards you, but rather your brother realizing something about your behavior?
3. Reach Out and Ask to Talk
It is best if his wife is also present because it is not good to hide something from her. However, if you know that she will turn that conversation into an argument, it is still better that you and your brother talk.
It might be helpful to plan a time to have a one-on-one conversation with your brother without his spouse present.
Express to him that you miss him and are interested in resolving any issues between you two.
Communicate openly and honestly about your emotions, and inquire if there is any action you can take to enhance the situation.
It’s best not to blame your brother or accuse his wife without evidence. Instead, try explaining to him politely how it makes you feel that your relationship has changed and express a desire to work towards a better one.
4. Respect Boundaries
We know you think you know what’s best for your brother, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s always the truth, and that’s what he and his wife want to hear.
You have no right to interfere in your brother’s marriage and give advice no one asked for.
And you can’t expect your brother to spend time with you every day instead of with his wife.
5. Recognize When You Can’t Do Anything Anymore
Unfortunately, not all arguments have a happy ending, despite all the sibling love of you and your brother.
A normal relationship cannot be established if you are the only one who initiates it. There must be a will for it from your brother as well.
Talk to your brother about how you feel. If he doesn’t understand, don’t try to force him to.
If your brother decides to completely cut you off from his life under the toxic influence of his wife, there is nothing more you can do about it.
All Things Considered – You And Your Sister-In-Law Actually Have One Thing In Common
That’s love for your brother.
So why not find a common language to make everyone happier?
Although sibling relationships can be complicated, we firmly believe overcoming any issues and developing a healthy relationship is possible.