When your brother’s wife doesn’t like you, it can drain the whole family. So, as uncomfortable as it may be, it’s a good idea to address the issue before the relationship gets really complicated.
First of all, it is important to think about some things.
How often you see your brother, how close you are, how important your opinion is to him, and how important his opinion is to you.
When you take all that into account, only then can you deal with the problem of his wife’s relationship with you.
So let’s first deal with your relationship with your brother, and then we’ll consider possible reasons why his wife doesn’t like you.
5 Reasons Why Your Brother’s Wife Doesn’t Like You
Are you very close to your brother? Is he like your best friend, and you can’t wait to share everything important in your life with him?
He often asks you for your opinion. You talk regularly on the phone, plan family vacations together, and are important to each other in every way?
Or your brother is like a good neighbor. You respect each other even though, in reality, you have never been particularly close. You don’t know each other very well, but you know that you have to respect family customs, so you see each other regularly.
How your brother’s wife treats you may have a lot to do with how your brother treats you. Let’s see some of the most common reasons why his wife might not like you.
1. She Is Jealous of Your Relationship
If his wife is insecure, and the two of you are very close, she may perceive your relationship as threatening. Is his wife a bit more possessive?
If so, chances are high that her disliking you has nothing to do with you but with the fact that she sees everyone as competition.
Maybe she’s afraid she’ll never be able to be as close to him as you are. Maybe her relationship with her brother looks completely different.
Anyway, that’s just her problem, and you shouldn’t let it throw you off guard. You can distract your brother by talking to her and making her feel safer around you.
She needs to understand that the dynamics of a relationship between a brother and a sister are completely different from those between a husband and a wife, so realistically there is no place for any fear or jealousy.
2. Your Brother Tells Her Bad Things About You
If there have always been disagreements between you and your brother, or if you have always been rivals, or maybe he felt less valuable than you, he may complain about it to his wife somehow.
Her reaction may be protective – out of a need to protect her husband from her allegedly malicious sister, she may take a hostile attitude toward you.
However, this has nothing to do with your brother’s wife but more with your relationship with your brother.
Think about whether you always competed as children. Does your brother feel that your parents are unfair to him in some way concerning you?
Maybe your brother is suffering because of how you treat him, and for some reason, he is not allowed to tell you, but he only shares this problem with his wife.
Suppose there were competitive elements in your relationship. In that case, it is best to talk openly with your brother about your relationship so they spontaneously touch on his wife’s attitude towards you.
3. She Disapproves of Your Profession
Maybe your brother’s wife is an animal rights activist, and you work in the meat industry.
Or maybe you are a lawyer who has worked on the defense of a criminal and the like – there are endless examples.
In cases like this, there’s just not much you can do except accept the situation. Some people are less tolerant than others. You certainly have the right to demand respect and kindness.
You don’t have to be best friends. You have nothing to worry about if he treats you correctly.
After all, you don’t have to like everyone. We choose professions according to our personality, and changing them is not very easy. If someone does not accept us as we are, it is not really worth fighting for their affection.
4. She Feels Inferior to You
Maybe you are extremely attractive, extremely successful or extremely rich, educated, or whatever, so your brother’s wife unconsciously thinks that your brother (her husband) could expect that from all the women around him.
And really, if you’re out of the ordinary, your brother’s wife is probably not the only woman who feels uncomfortable and less valuable in your presence.
What you can do in this case is to show his wife that you love her and that you want to have a nice relationship.
That way, she will also feel special and worthy of your attention, which may be all you need to be nice to her.
5. His Wife Is a Narcissist and Doesn’t Really Like Anyone
Narcissistic people only like people who are willing to be their fans.
Suppose your brother’s wife has narcissistic traits. In that case, she probably doesn’t like people who are self-absorbed and show no desire to be admired and adored.
Narcissists value people only to the extent that they are useful to them. Fortunately, since narcissists care about the general impression they leave, you can at least count on the fact that you won’t have any special conflicts or scenes with her.
Just keep a decent distance, and everything will be fine.
4. Maybe There Just Isn’t a Reason
Not everyone has to love us. There is nothing normal about being liked by everyone. It is completely expected that some people will never like you even though they have no particular reason for it.
It only takes a few seconds to have an opinion about someone, and that’s because we form the first impression unconsciously.
Sometimes we don’t even understand why we don’t like a person, but it’s just like that, we don’t like him, and that’s it.
If you really care about having a good relationship with your brother’s wife, you can try to get to know her better and invite her to get to know you better.
The first impression can change.
Maybe you just need a little time and opportunity.
5. Maybe You Thought That Your Brothers’ Wife Didn’t Like You
Are you sure your brother’s wife doesn’t like you? On what basis did you come to such a conclusion? Maybe she was too hasty?
Maybe his wife is simply not inclined to openly express her emotions, so because she is reserved or withdrawn, it seems to you that she does not love you.
Introverted people often seem disinterested even when they really like someone. They just need more time to reveal themselves. Do not rush to conclusions.
Allow her and yourself to build a relationship and, above all, check your impression, do not take your opinion as the only correct one.
We’re all prone to mistakes, and it’s better to check than to live in the belief that your brother’s wife doesn’t love you when she’s actually just a shy and withdrawn person by nature.
The Gentle Art of Making Friends – How to Make Your Brother’s Wife Like You
For starters, what you and your brother’s wife have in common is YOUR BROTHER. So you both love and want him well, which you probably agree on. Instead of focusing on the relationship between the two of you, try talking to her about how happy your brother is with her and stuff like that.
Basically, no matter how different you are, if there is will and tolerance on both sides, the two of you can still have an excellent, high-quality relationship, even though you would basically never hang out if it weren’t for your brother.
The skill of good relations with people lies in accepting ourselves and others as they are. That we don’t try to change them, that we don’t underestimate and overestimate them. To allow them to make mistakes and not to be perfect because we are not perfect either.
Suppose you don’t really have much of a relationship with your own brother and only see him a few times a year at family gatherings. In that case, you actually have nothing to worry about.
Establishing a relationship with someone you see a couple of times a year is impossible. If you’re not very close to your brother, why would you expect to have a better relationship with his wife?
Respect, kindness, and openness to differences are definitely a recipe you can’t go wrong with, whether you like your brother’s wife or not.