You have heard too many times that healthy communication is the basis of every relationship.
And that is the truth. Through communication, we connect, but we also express our needs.
Without healthy communication, a relationship is doomed.
But what if that communication is excessive and has the opposite effect?
How can too much talking ruin your relationship, then? Talking about things related to the past that can hurt your partner, talking too much about yourself, too much negativity, and of course, constantly criticizing your partner.
This may not be the main reason your relationship fails, but it can open Pandora’s box of problems.
Are you an over communicator, and what does that mean?
An over-communicator is a person who deliberately communicates more than is usual or generally considered necessary.
Let’s find out better in this article.
5 Ways How Too Much Talking Is Damaging Your Relationship
What’s wrong with that if you like to talk too much? Especially with your partner.
You don’t see a problem there, but there could be one. Here’s how:
1. You Talk Too Much About The Past
And when we think of the past, we think of exes.
This is especially risky if you are in a new relationship, but it can annoy your partner even after a few years of dating.
To be clear, you should be honest with your partner about your past relationships, but you should also not go into more detail than necessary.
Imagine the situation: You started dating a new partner, and everything seems perfect, but you keep talking about your ex.
If you go to a restaurant with your new partner, you keep talking about how you used to come there with your ex. You even detail what you ate together and how beautiful the moon was that evening.
This way, you send a message to your new partner that you haven’t gotten over your ex, potentially destroying the new relationship.
2. Overtexting as a Form of Excessive Communication
Again this is mainly related to new relationships.
We know that at the beginning of a relationship, you want to talk to your partner non-stop because everything is new and exciting, but you can easily get too carried away with it.
The modern age has created the need to know everything at a moment’s notice, making us much more impatient.
By constantly calling or texting your partner, you can give the impression of an overcontrolling person.
It’s easy to become obsessed with constantly being in touch with your new partner.
Constantly checking on a partner is one of the behaviors of insecure people.
You must know everything about him immediately, where he is, what he ate, and who he follows on Instagram.
This behavior can make your partner feel overwhelmed.
You also send your partner essays about what you did during the day, and you get mad at him if he doesn’t reply simultaneously.
3. You Share Every Emotion Too Quickly
Isn’t the point of a relationship to share emotions with your partner?
That is true, but allow us to explain.
You over-communicate every single emotion that goes through your mind.
Do you sometimes overreact to certain situations? Or even make drama over trivial things?
Let’s say you had an argument with a colleague at work, which can happen to everyone.
But then you talk to your partner about it all day.
Even when your partner advises you on how to solve a problem, which is the point of communication, you continue talking about it.
We’re not saying you’re making the biggest mistake ever by behaving like that, but it’s usually related to something negative that happened to you.
Over time, you can overwhelm your partner with negativity, so much so that he avoids such conversations with you in advance.
4. You Are Too Critical
We know that you know everything best and everything has to be perfect according to you, but sometimes that can burden others, especially your partner.
Ok, he did make a mistake because he forgot to take out the trash on trash day, but you don’t need to talk to him about it for the next few days.
We know it’s hard for you to resist because you think your partner often wouldn’t do anything without you reminding him, but you won’t achieve anything with constant criticism.
It would be best if you sometimes silenced your inner critic for the sake of your relationship.
5. You Are Spoiling The Fun
Talking too much can totally spoil the fun.
First, you can be boring, but you can also ruin surprises.
Your partner’s birthday is coming up, and you are preparing a surprise birthday party, but you can’t resist, and you tell him all about it.
You just turned a surprise party into an ordinary party.
And how much you ruin the fun depends on what you say.
Let’s say you and your partner are with friends, and you overshare things or talk and act like you’re better than others.
How to Stop Over-Communicating in a Relationship? 5 Tips
Although overcommunication may not sound like something wrong at first glance, it can have consequences for your relationship.
Then why not change it, because then the communication will be better.
Here’s how to do it:
1. Realize That Sometimes Less is More
You must have heard of that expression, but it can also refer to words.
Wordiness should be avoided in writing, but also in talking.
Don’t let your sentences be full of fluff and unnecessary words.
It is always better to speak clearly, directly, and concisely so your message is better understood.
Yes, you should talk about everything with your partner in a relaxed way and not worry about whether your sentences are concise enough.
But what if your partner is busy, at work, or has some problems, and you want to talk to him about something that might not interest him.
Your partner may need time to decompress after a hard day at work, and you attack him with a wave of information as soon as he gets home.
For example, your partner is apolitical, and you love to talk about politics.
You can tell him the essentials, but don’t expect that he wants to spend the whole evening listening to your grand political speeches.
2. Recognize The Importance of Constructive Criticism
We know you need to criticize your partner when he does or doesn’t do something, but how you do it is important.
If you keep telling him how lazy and useless he is, you’re not criticizing him; you’re insulting him.
Instead of that constant complaining, it is much better to have an honest talk.
Explain to him constructively why he should do something and how it affects you when he doesn’t.
You will achieve much more with constructive criticism than if you constantly nitpick about your partner.
3. Be Honest, But Don’t Hurt Your Partner
Of course, this refers to your past relationships.
You don’t have to lie about past relationships, but you don’t have to share every juicy detail.
Some things are better left unsaid.
Do you understand what we are talking about?
He doesn’t need to know these things in detail because you can only hurt him and create a problem where there shouldn’t be one.
It’s always best to let the past stay in the past and not bring it up all the time.
4. Don’t Forget The Importance of Non-Verbal Communication
Love can be communicated in different ways, not only through words.
Smiles, hugs, kisses, pleasant touches, massages, spending time in silence.
There is a saying that you are happiest when you find someone with whom you can sit in complete silence without getting bored.
“Sometimes silence speaks louder than words”– Apurva Gupta
And think about how many quarrels could be solved by one sincere hug instead of all the harsh, unnecessary words.
5. Is Overcommunication a Reflection of Your Insecurities?
Have you ever heard that people who talk too much are usually the most insecure?
That excessive talking is your inner defense mechanism.
As if you want to defend or justify yourself with all those words.
Also, due to some of your past experiences, you constantly want to talk to your partner to control him.
All these are reflections of anxiety and inner struggles.
If you think this is true, you need to work on the cause of your insecurities.
To Conclude – Actions Speaks Louder Than Words
Should you tell your partner everything? Yes, but it depends on how you say it.
In any case, actions are more important than words.
A good relationship is based more on what you do than what you say.
We are by no means advising you that you should not say everything on your mind but don’t let yourself jeopardize your relationship with some stupid stories that lead nowhere.
Replace them with hugs and kisses; we’re sure you and your partner will be happier.