If your mother never stops complaining, regardless of why she does, you need to know you have every right to protect yourself from those endless complaints.
They say our personality results from the five people we spend most of our time with.
Spending a lot of time with a chronic complainer will surely leave a mark on your personality and outlook on life.
Typically, people who complain a lot prefer to play the victim’s part and never do anything to change the things they complain about.
No one is perfect, and we are responsible for how we feel, speak, and interact with others.
Your situation may be tough if your mom constantly complains about the things she finds wrong with you.
When you understand why your mother behaves as she does, you’ll find it much easier to deal with her complaints.
Whatever the reason your mother complains, essentially, she complains about her life, not yours.
Once you fully understand this, you will find the power within you to shield you against her negative energy.
In this article, you will learn why your mother never stops complaining and how to react.
5 Reasons Why Your Mother Never Stops Complaining
A woman’s burden of family life is still enormous and often inadequately tied to the burden carried by a man in the family.
Some women do not agree to such a division and either leave the marriage in which they feel abused.
While some have no idea that it can be any other way, but quietly suffer and hope for a miraculous change.
A victim mentality is what, in most cases, leads to a person complaining all the time.
But when it comes to maternal complaints, there are many variations.
Let’s explore the most common reasons moms keep complaining about are.
1. Unhappy Marriage
Mothers who remain in unhappy marriages often do not realize that they are harming themselves and their children.
Children are the most common argument for them to stay in an unhappy marriage.
At first, when they realize that they are dissatisfied, they quietly endure and remain silent for a long time.
Still, over time, since they do not do anything to change the situation, they become overwhelmed with frustration and begin to complain about everything.
You can do nothing to make this mother happy and stop complaining because her complaints are about her whole life. Everything else is just an excuse.
2. Unaccomplished Mothers
Mothers who, for some reason, have been denied a career or some other life goal often project their ambitions onto their children.
While their children are small, they expect them to fulfill their wishes and do not pay any attention to what the children like.
However, when the children grow up and show their will or start to rebel against her demands, this kind of mother falls into a vortex of dissatisfaction from which it is impossible to get her out.
She is bitter and resentful of everything because her children were her last chance to realize herself.
When the children leave and begin to pursue their own desires instead of hers, she is left alone and left to face her own failures.
3. Perfectionist Mothers
The problem with perfectionism is that perfectionists have extremely high standards and only accept that which is exceptional as good enough.
Sometimes they are extremely strict only with themselves, but most often, they are just as strict with the people they love the most, that is, with their children.
This kind of mother will always have a complaint about your hairstyle, grades, partner, and house because, in her mind, everything can be better, and everything needs to be better.
She often has no bad intentions and doesn’t even realize how demanding she is.
She doesn’t understand that by behaving like that, she makes the people around her feel like they’re not good enough.
4. Depressed Mothers
We all have different defense mechanisms. When faced with an unavoidable threat, some people choose to get angry instead of feeling sad.
Suppose your mother has not always been a complainer, but this kind of behavior started only recently. In that case, you might want to consider what has changed in her life.
Has she stopped working, got ill, has your father got some health problems that get her worried and similar.
Complaining and criticizing others can be a way to distract thoughts from some other problems that make us sad.
5. Complaining as a Hobby
Suppose your mother grew up with a mother who was always complaining.
She might copy her mother’s behavior without realizing what she is actually doing.
In this case, her complaints are not heavy and emotional; they are like bad habits.
This kind of complainer takes complaining as a pastime, an excuse for starting a conversation.
Your mother is probably calling you on the phone too often out of sheer boredom, just to complain about something she saw on TV.
How to Deal With a Constantly Complaining Mother? 5 Ways
Bear in mind that whichever strategy you choose, you always have the right to decide not to listen to your mother’s complaints.
1. Change the Topic
If you steer the conversation in a direction they find interesting, some complainers will change the subject.
Tell your mother about an unexpected call you got from an old acquaintance if she’s complaining about the phone provider.
When your mom is complaining about something, ask her what she thinks about the latest movie she has seen.
You may continue to employ this strategy, which works particularly well on those who are blindly ranting.
Don’t give it a shot just once. Get your mother’s attention away from where it is at the moment.
2. Encourage Your Mom to Take Action
When a persistent complainer shares her most recent issue with you, politely inquire as to what she’s done to address it.
This is different from the typical course in which a conversation with complaints follows. It could assist in quickly terminating a rant.
Often, it’s not about a strategy to cure it—they just want to keep talking about it.
If you interrupt that routine, it throws them off guard, and most people stop.
3. Briefly Reframe The Issue
If you show your complainer that you are paying attention, she could quit repeating herself.
Ask a simple question like, “Can I tell you what I’ve heard so far so you can be sure I’ve got it?”
Instead of trying to silence the other person, demonstrate attention by using “I” comments rather than “you” ones (“You keep repeating yourself”).
Avoid using the phrase “complaining,” as difficult as it may be. It carries such a bad reputation.
It gets the idea through and isn’t nearly as heavy a phrase to say that you sense their unhappiness.
4. Inform Her About the Harm of Complaining
We might lose more than just our self-esteem when we complain. It can potentially drain even more of our limited energy out the window.
You do get a brief adrenaline rush when you are furious or upset, but after that, the “crash” knocks you flat and leaves you feeling exhausted and worn out.
We’ve previously spoken about how it might affect your own mood and make you feel victimized, powerless, and hopeless, but it can also affect people around you.
Others who were not already stressed out by your complaints may become stressed out as a result of your negativity.
Additionally, grumbling may mentally drain you, and your mother needs to know that.
Complaining can produce stress, which can increase blood pressure and cause immune system impairment, thyroid suppression, inflammation, and cortisol production (also known as the “stress hormone”).
This is the unsavory material that also contributes to our extra abdominal fat, which is yet another complaint.
The more you complain, the simpler it gets since your brain forms connections when you repeat a habit.
As a result, you will begin to focus more on the bad and notice it sooner than the positive.
Because you can no longer see it, you can even neglect or underappreciate the positive things they do.
5. Understand The Core Need
Because they believe they are not being heard, some people develop a habit of complaining constantly.
They keep repeating the criticism until someone confirms what they have to say.
People who whine might urge you to attempt and persuade them to stop their woe-is-me whining.
Say, “If I were you, I would feel the same way,” she advises if you frequently have to interact with complainers in your environment.
That gives them a sense of being heard and could prevent the need to reiterate a damaging message.